Because I Am A Girl...

I wrote the following poem thinking of my own daughter, still so small and innocent. Her and her little brother are so close, always together and they love each other dearly. When I watch them happily playing together, oblivious to gender roles, sometimes I can't help thinking, will it be like this later when they are older? Will the surrounding culture have an effect greater than my own influence and upbringing? Will my daughter someday feel shy to run, jump and play with her brother? Will her 'boy' toys be taken away by her relatives? I will do everything in my power to make sure both my daughter and son grow up feeling they are treated, trusted and loved equally and that she can experience a real childhood exploring, experiencing and enjoying what the world has to offer!

I dedicate this poem to all little girls out there..

Because you are a girl. That is the reply,

when I ask over and over, why?

It's what 's best for you they claim,

life as a girl is easy, you're pampered and boys always get the blame.

But because I am a girl, I have it so much harder in this world.

They say they want to protect me, it's for my own good,

but they don't know or perhaps they misunderstood.

Because I am a girl, I cannot play outside the house with my brother,

I must stay inside locked up with my sister and mother.

My sister is happy because daddy says we are like princesses in a castle

But why do I feel like a bird in a cage, my wings unable to flutter?

I watch from my window as the boys play in the street,

why don't they have to worry about who they see or meet?

Because I am a girl I shouldn't run, jump, laugh and play,

that may cause someone to have the wrong impression of me, so they say.

I cannot ride a bike because someone might see, what will they think of my family and me!

But my brothers can go out and ride their bikes wild and free..

I wonder how it would be, if I were a boy?

If I were a boy I could surely climb a tree and nobody would care!

If I were a boy I could swim on the beach and nobody would stare!

But because I am a girl I can only watch in despair.

They say I'm so lucky because girls are like pearls.

Precious pearls in shells that only a few can see.

But I am a person, not a pearl. We are the same, my brother and me!

I don't want to live in a clam hidden away, sheltered from life,

my only goal to become someone's wife.

I want to swim out to the ocean and explore all its wonders!

Tears run down my cheeks at night when I lay in my bed and ponder,

I dream of climbing the highest of mountains with my brother.

I want to feel the wind in my hair as we race each other!

But I can't, only because I am a girl.

So I sit alone in my room daydreaming of another day, a day when I can be free of all these burdens. A day when I can open the door and live.

A poem I hope my daughter never has to write.

P.S. This poem and the images attached belong to ©Blue Abaya. 

Has Your Capri Sun Juice Turned Into A Caipirinha?

Capri Sun juice. Mold. Sounds like a good cocktail to serve your kids?

I just saw this warning on Facebook about mold an American mother had found in the Capri Sun juice her son was drinking. Apparently, the kid had said it tasted "funny". The mom tasted it and the juice was like straight alcohol! When she poured the juice into a glass a huge mold clump came out.
YUCK.
Here is her pic:

We have Capri Sun in Saudi too and I buy Capri-Sun because it has no preservatives or added colors and of the ones available it seemed to be the best option. Juices are a special "treat" my kid gets for picnics etc. They come in many different flavors and can be stored in room temperature.

So I went to check our stash of apple flavored Capri Suns which I had a box full of stored in the cupboard and an additional two in the fridge. All had expiration date 23rd March 2013. They were packaged 24th June. Ten months?? That's really an optimistic estimation isn't it, keeping in mind there's no preservatives. How did the company come up with this? How is the juice is supposed to stay fine in there for that long in room temperatures? Our house is air-conditioned so this would've remained in about 21C temperature the few months we had them.

How did I not figure this one out before. No preservatives + room temperature 10 months=BROBLEM.

I will have to blame my mommy brain.
Anyways I'm so glad I went and checked. Because WHOA the ones I had in the cupboard had fermented and turned into an apple cider rather than a juice! The smell of alcohol was really strong. The two in the fridge were fine but I still dumped them out just in case.
Wait a minute.
O-M-G.
No wonder my daughter had weird look on her face when she was drinking one the other day. Oh dear Lord, I gave my baby an alcoholic drink! Bad parenting 101 anyone? I feel so guilty now. Now I understand why she slept so soundly that day..
I drugged my baby with "natural juice".

Capri-Sangria, anyone?

I also cut open the packages to check if there was any visible mold in there. Thank God there wasn't! I threw everything away and won't be buying these anymore though. What a shame they don't come in clear packages so people could check for anything out of the ordinary in them. The only way I would get these anymore is if I had a freezer big enough to store them in.

That reminds me of a field trip my daughters daycare recently arranged. Daycare field trip! How exciting! To the Riyadh zoo maybe? An amusement park? To a compound pool? Horse stables?

Nope.

Of all places they decided to go to CAPRI SUN JUICE FACTORY.
When I was a kid we went to a licorice factory. A chocolate factory, even a cookie factory. But a juice factory? Yawn.

My friend went and she told me it was such a waste of time. There was some totally clueless guy showing them around the factory. His tour sounded like this:

 "Ummm, this is where we make the juice" (pointing at a large juice barrel)
"Ummm, this is where we add the preservatives"(pointing at another barrel)
"Any questions?"

End of tour.

My friend was flabbergasted by the expertise of the guide. She's also a fan (or probably now an EX fan) of Capri-Sun because of the "no preservatives, no additives, all natural" thingy going on. So naturally, (no pun intended) she was amazed to hear the guide pointing out the place where the preservatives are added and decided to ask about it.

Friend: "I thought Capri-Sun is additive-free?"
Capri-san: "No, it's not ma'am."
Friend: "But it says on the juices there's no added preservatives, it says all natural."
Capri-san: "But ma'am this is where we add the preservatives. Any other questions?"
Friend: "Umm...No."

Capri-Sun. Naturally fermented alcoholic drink.

Stay away! Unless of course, you're looking for a cheap way to make home-made booze.

P.S. I don't regularly give my kid packaged juices, they are only for very rare occasions. And I think from now on we're done with them altogether.

Yahoo news reporting about the mold problem in Capri Sun juices: http://news.yahoo.com/capri-suns-pesky-mold-problem-resurfaces-211700677.html

Saudi-Arabia: A Haven For Child Molesters, Wife Beaters And Daughter Killers?

Maybe you have heard the story of Lama,Al Ghamdi, a five year old girl tortured to death by her own father, a so called religious "sheikh" Fayhan Al Ghamdi. http://english.alarabiya.net/articles/2012/11/11/249009.html
Lama Al Ghamdi was beaten with electric cables, her back broken and half of her head smashed in. She was sexually assaulted and her anal canal torn open which the beast also tried to burn closed. She was brought to the hospital where she remained in ICU for 10 months and then died last October.

To make matters worse, it might happen that this criminal Fayhan Al Ghamdi will be to be let off with just a four months jail sentence and by paying blood money to the victims family. In other words, himself. This could only happen in Saudi-Arabia, where crimes against women and children go mostly unpunished.

Yes there is actually a judge in this day and age who made such a ruling, as ridiculous, horrific and unbelievable this may sound. And this is the image these sick men are giving to the world about Islam. No wonder people think it's an evil religion.
The full story can be read on Saudi Woman's blog: http://saudiwoman.me/2013/01/31/rest-in-peace-lama/
Omaima Al Najjar also wrote about the background of this case: http://omaimanajjar.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/islamic-preacher-getaway-with-a-murder/

I would call Faihan Al Ghamdi an animal, but even animals have more integrity and wouldn't do this to their offspring.

Sick bastards like this exist everywhere in the world but in Saudi-Arabia they can actually get away with their actions. In this so called model state of Islam, men can get away with murdering their children (especially daughters), raping their wives and beating the shit out of their daughters with only minor inconvenience. The courts will always side with the man. After all he is the head of the family and he has the right to treat his "property" as he wishes.

Abuse of women and children are always treated as minor offenses in the Sharia courts. Blood money paid for the heirs of a female victim is half the amount of a male victims. See from the below blood money chart how the life of a woman in Saudi-Arabia is valued always half less that of a male:

• 300,000 riyals if the victim is a Muslim man
• 150,000 riyals if a Muslim woman
• 150,000 riyals if a Christian or Jewish man
• 75,000 riyals if a Christian or Jewish woman
• 6,666 riyals if a man of any other religion
• 3,333 riyals if a woman of any other religion

Truly sickening.

Quran does not mention the amount of money to be paid or any differentiation between the sexes.
"We ordained therein for them: "Life for life, eye for eye, nose or nose, ear for ear, tooth for tooth, and wounds equal for equal." But if any one remits the retaliation by way of charity, it is an act of atonement for himself. And if any fail to judge by (the light of) what Allah hath revealed, they are (No better than) wrong-doers."
This misogynist attitude and rulings come solely from a patriarchal society, not religion, although some of these clerics do try to justify their verdicts based on weak Hadith. Compare this child rapist-killers 4 month sentence to the recent case of the Sri Lankan maid that was executed without fair trial for killing a baby placed in her inexperienced care.

Abusive Saudi men know that they can beat, rape and abuse their women and children without any harsh punishments. Saudi-Arabia's judicial system doesn't help the abused women and always backs up the abusive men. The law serves as a haven for these kind of men.

According to Saudi Woman's article, if the woman reports the abuse to the police, the Hai'a (religious police) and her guardian (her abuser) are called to harass the victim out of reporting it for up to four hours before the social services are called. How many women in that situation are actually strong enough to face these bullies and end up going back home to her abuser?

A while ago I was faced with the difficult situation of my friend here suffering physical abuse from her husband. She's a foreign wife with a Saudi husband. Her husband has abused her for years even before they moved to Saudi-Arabia. They have one child and he had even beaten her while she was pregnant. Now I'm sure that any woman who has been in that situation knows how difficult it is to leave and how there always seems to be a time of calm and the abuse ends. The husband becomes an "angel", only for the abuse to start up again.

Word of warning to any woman outside Saudi-Arabia currently dating, engaged to or married to a Saudi man with an abusive history: DO NOT under ANY circumstances move to Saudi-Arabia with him, EVER. He WILL continue the abuse here. He might tell you he promises to change. He will, but for the WORSE. Even if he promises to go to a psychologist to get treatment, he won't change his ways. Even if he cries, begs you to come, promises you the world..It simply won't work like that. Don't be naive and trust these men. Instead my advice to you is run the other direction and never look back.

If you end up in KSA with him, he will most likely keep you as a prisoner and limit your life and all the contact you have to the outer world. I have personally seen and heard of women like this. He will not give you a phone or maybe even let you use the internet. If he hits you, no one will or can help you. No laws will protect you. Your life will become hell. His family will not help you, they will protect him. I am not exaggerating. Saudi-Arabia is the worst place in the world to be with an abusive, controlling husband, period.

So on to the case of the woman I mentioned. Her husband had beaten her so bad she broke some bones. She didn't have a cell phone because her husband had not given her one, and since they'd recently moved, she didn't even know where she lived. Her only way to contact anyone was through Facebook. The husband had locked her up in a room without windows and left the house with the child. Since she doesn't know anyone in Riyadh, she asked me for help. Together with another friend we were trying to help her to find out where the apartment was located so that we could go and take her to the hospital since she was in severe pain.

We couldn't figure out where she was and since she couldn't even see outside to give some landmarks, she remained in her agony alone in the apartment and there was nothing anyone could do about it. She asked me the number to the police, she wanted to call them from the husbands phone when he came back. In any other country I would've encouraged her to call the police and report him. In Saudi-Arabia however it's not a good idea, especially if you're a foreign woman.

Will the police believe her or the husband? What if he tells them she fell? The woman is not Muslim, most likely they will believe the husband over her. What if she makes the report in any case, who will protect her from the husbands rage afterwards? There are no shelters for her to go to. No relatives to help. Her husband's family would most likely say it's normal and nothing that can be done about it. Us friends could take her in, but would the husband allow that? Of course not, at least not with the child. He might get upset at her making the report and send her back to her home country. He has the power to do so, and to keep their daughter in Saudi-Arabia and the woman would never see her again. If the case ever were to go forward, the judge would just brush it off by saying she deserved it by disobeying the husband and that he had the right to beat her.

So I told my friend, don't call the police. You will just get yourself into more trouble. What I did advise her is to get out of the country with her child and never come back. She's going for vacation to her home country and I sincerely hope she finds the strength to leave him and never returns to Saudi-Arabia.

Back to the story of Lama. There's still a little hope for Fayhan Al Ghamdi to be charged with capital punishment but her mother is from a very poor family and they haven't been able to get a lawyer yet. There is going to be another hearing this Sunday. Hopefully the family would be able to get a good lawyer for her and they can appeal the sentence to get this monster locked up. Fayhan Al Ghamdi deserves the same fate as he inflicted upon his daughter.

What is important now is to get her story out there. Spread the word, tell the world about this little angel and her monster father and the cowardly misogynist men who stand behind him. Paying blood money for killing your own children is a disgrace and crime toward all children and women in the world.  Al Ghamdi deserves the death penalty for his atrocious crime. This man is sick and will most likely commit such horrendous acts again. Help Lama's mother get justice by forwarding her story.

I hope there is a very very special place waiting for Fayhan Al Ghamdi in hell.

May the little angel rest in peace.

UPDATE: Lama's mother Syeda Ali has a lawyer and the trial has been postponed two weeks. There is no official verdict yet and Lama's mother is refusing blood money and pushing for death sentence for Fayhan Al-Ghamdi, who remains in jail awaiting trial.
No blood money has been paid yet nor was Fayhan Al Ghamdi set free, despite many news sources reporting he was released.

Ramadan, Junk Food and Fungus Burgers

Ramadan is supposed to be the month of not only fasting but remembering those less fortunate who are not able to eat or drink clean water daily. A time for striving to be a better Muslim and person, acting modest in every way (including eating). This should definitely not be the month to indulge in fast food. Many locals and Muslim expats however have the habit of over-eating and splurging on food among other things during this month. It's like a month long pig-out fest for some.

People often opt to eat their iftar, the meal which is eaten after breaking the fast, out at restaurants for a change. Restaurants try to attract hungry customers by offering lavish iftar buffets. Fast food chains are in the game too by offering their own "Ramadan Specials". People will be out until the early hours in search of a quick meal to eat at sohoor just before the Fajr prayer is called around 4 am. There are long queues at McDonald's, Burger King, Herfy's and other fast food joints during this time.

Here is the KFC version of iftar:

The amount of fast food chains available in the Kingdom might come as a surprise to many first time visitors or to those unfamiliar with Saudi-Arabia. The majority of the most popular American chains have branches in Riyadh and Jeddah and there's junk food available at every corner. New burger joints are sprouting around Riyadh like mushrooms after rain. American diners are among the most popular restaurants in town and becoming very common. So are heart diseases, diabetes and obesity.

The popularity of fast food in the Kingdom is very unfortunate. Combined with a very sedentary and lazy lifestyle (Saudi-Arabia was recently found to be the world's third most lazy country) the effects on the public health are enormous.

There seems to be a complete lack of  health awareness and education in Saudi-Arabia. Very obese kids can be seen indulging in french fries and burgers and sipping on caffeinated drinks. Sometimes I wonder what is the future like for these kids who have been spoiled by food and most likely by maids as well. They sit with their iPad's and computers all day never lifting a finger let lone doing some physical exercise. They are like ticking time bombs.

I find it best to avoid giving my daughter fast food at all costs. Especially those fries. All those saturated fats, bad carbs and possible carcinogens are best left alone. On the very rare occasion we do go eat fast food I always try to pick out the more healthy options, if you can really even call them such! In Finland kids meals actually contain baby carrots and milk instead of fries and Coke. One fast food chain I never went to in Saudi is Hardee's. Thank God I never ate there.

Check out their "Ramadan special" the "Fungus Burger" found inside a kiddie meal the other day:

This pic was posted in a Facebook group today. Apparently a woman in Jeddah had ordered a kids meal which was delivered to her house in the early hours of sohoor time. Yes, fast food chains DELIVER to the door in Saudi-Arabia. The poor kid ate half of the rotten burger before the parents noticed the "extra flavoring". According to her Facebook, thank God the child did not suffer any food poisoning but nevertheless this is totally unacceptable and disgusting.

The woman and some of her friends had tried to post this image on the Hardee's Saudi-Arabia FB page which resulted in them being blocked from the page. The manager had offered them a new meal to compensate the damage. Ermm, no thanks buddy.

This is such a gross violation it should be reported to the health authorities so they can go and check the branch and take action against them. Junk food is already unhealthy enough!

I find this image at the same time nauseating but not at all surprising. The standard of hygiene that is practiced by some of these workers here in Saudi is below appalling. Staff at fast food places don't receive proper hygiene training and I've hardly ever seen them wear gloves or other protective clothing. I wonder how many wash their hands after going to the toilet?

This reminds me of a BAAK branch in the D.Q Kindy plaza, which had no running water in the entire restaurant at one point. Yes, you read correctly, no running water. I guess that answers the previous question and also why my friends got a severe food poisoning after eating there.

Another recent incident I recall was with Chili's here in Riyadh. It was shut down for a while after the authorities found oh just a few TONS of expired meat and cheese in their kitchen. Chili's is now open again and remains one of the most popular restaurants in Riyadh.

A while back there was a video circulating of a McDonald's restaurant in Medinah Saudi-Arabia that claimed to show lettuce being washed in the washing machine in the backroom. It was never totally clear if the video was a staged fabrication or not. After the incident the McDonald's Arabia page issued a statement saying the video was fabricated and that they don't handle lettuce in such a way in their restaurants. They even said they have an "Open Door" program:

“McDonald’s prides itself on its transparency. With our Open Door Program, we open our doors and welcome you to tour our kitchen to take a close look at the quality standards of our products and procedures. This is an open invitation for those interested in learning more about our kitchen at any point in time,” 

I was immediately interested and contacted them by email as requested to book an appointment. But why by appointment only, and why only certain locations? I thought they had nothing to hide? Photography was mentioned to be strictly forbidden. I still wanted to check it out. I waited a week for a reply then emailed them again. In total I sent four emails requesting for the Open Door tour without ever receiving a response. I guess they thought issuing the statement was enough and that nobody would actually be interested or bothered to come and look.

So what exactly goes on in the kitchen's of Saudi-Arabia's fast food joints? It remains a mystery.
Will you take the risk?

Mirror Mirror On The Wall..

Who is the whitest of them all?

A fair complexion equals beauty in many cultures around the world. In Saudi-Arabia white is definitely the preferred skin tone for both men and women. But like most things in the world, the pressure of being fair is mainly placed upon the woman. Sadly, mothers and other female family members are the ones maintaining and contributing to this phenomenon.

The obsession of white skin tone starts when the baby is still in the mother's womb. Expecting mothers might be instructed to eat certain foods to help "make" their baby develop whiter skin. They say adding saffron to milk makes white babies. Pregnant women might be told to avoid coffee, iron tablets or dark chocolate. Such ignorance when everyone today should know it's up to your genes! If some women really think it has some effect, shouldn't they as Muslims avoid changing God's creation anyways?

Daughters will be kept inside the house and not allowed to play in the sun in fear of exposing the skin to the tanning effects of the sun. Never mind the health benefits such as obtaining vitamin D from the suns rays. The levels of vit. D of Saudi women are alarmingly low, one of the lowest in the world. Vitamin D deficiency causes multiple health problems to the mothers and the children. Complete veiling of the body would also have an effect on the low levels.

So the couped up girls spend their childhood mostly indoors while boys of course can do what they want and play outside all they like. Girls worry about their knees and elbows not becoming too dark from playing on the floor like their mothers warned them. It's very common to hear comments on children's skin tone here. People will even talk about their own kids to other people pointing out how this one is much whiter than that one. How this sister is so white and beautiful while the other is dark and ugly. I can't even imagine the damage this does to the girls self esteem.

When the Saudi girl starts menstruating their childhood is over and many will be forced by their families to suddenly veil their entire bodies. Check out how miserable blogger Omaima felt when she had to wear the abaya for the first time: http://omaimanajjar.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/how-i-felt-when-i-wore-an-abaya-for-the-first-time/
Reaching puberty will also further increase the pressure of a whiter skin tone and this is when many girls start trying different treatments.


When Saudi men start seeking for brides they inform their mothers who then start looking for potential wives at weddings and other social functions. Young women will come to show off to weddings for this very reason. The man will often have a few desires on his list of requirements of the woman's appearance. Most often than not, white skin tone is on the top of the list. Second in line would come straight hair, perhaps large boobs, small nose. Seriously, men say these things to their mothers! As if they are in search of cattle.
Under this immense pressure to have a white skin tone and keeping in mind how it might raise their chances of landing a good husband, the Saudi woman will go to great lengths to obtain a pale complex. Some mothers will be obsessed with the daughters skin tone from birth which continues this vicious cycle.

Most women will opt for whitening creams which are extremely popular around Asia and the ME. I personally never saw so many types and brands of whitening creams in my life. Most are marketed to give you a "healthy glow".

When I first moved to the Kingdom I remember searching for a TANNING cream at the pharmacy. I was in awe of all the whitening products and while browsing the aisle an Arab male pharmacist approached me. He took a jar from the shelf and asked me "I think this is what you're looking for ma'm". I looked at the product, wondering how on earth could this man telepathically know I was searching for a self tanner. But lo and behold what the pervert had just suggested! It was a whitening cream specifically for private parts! I other words your VJ!
I wanted to slap him right then and there but could not utter a word from my disgust and amazement. I just turned around and walked away.

After I recovered from my initial shock I was able to think about it. Why would a woman put something potentially harmful on her private parts just to please a man?Why would someone want to bleach their VJ for God's sake? Is this one of the requirements Saudi men have for their brides? Can you believe they have a website dedicated to whitening your tidbits?http://vaginalbleaching.org/

So there are all sorts of whitening creams out there. Also, all sorts of home-made whitening creams are available. They are the most sought after products because they contain ingredients that are banned from the market. Anything that has been banned for sale because of harmful ingredients should be avoided like the plague right? Nope.

Now this reminds me of a tragic story of one young bride to be.
A teenage Saudi girl was engaged and in preparations for her wedding, had obtained one of these whitening products available on the black market. A while after she had started using it she got an eye and skin infection. The infection did not improve with oral antibiotics and she was taken into the hospital for treatment.

After a while the infection was so bad it has reached her eyes and they had to remove her eyeballs. They could not control the infection. She lost both her eyes. She was in the hospital for weeks but doctors were not able to cure her. Finally the infection spread into her bloodstream and days after she passed away.

What an unnecessary, sad and maddening death! An innocent hopeful bride that just wanted to look more beautiful on her wedding day. Just because the society she lives in tells her she is not beautiful enough as she is, this tragedy had to happen. Just because of this sick twisted mentality of admiring white skin, a beautiful soul was lost.

Another strange way way of skin whitening is applying camel urine on the skin. yes, camel urine! It's true that camel urine has been proven to have whitening qualities. But who would want to rub it on their faces? Some women.

I had a patient whose family was into this camel urine and milk treatment. Don't get me wrong, camel's milk and urine have many proven health benefits, just check this article: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/06/camels-milk-urine-potential-cure-for.html
But one of the daughters had taken it to the extreme. She seemed surprisingly white compared to the others. She told me her secret was applying camel urine on her skin everyday, and mentioned how it works for female area as well. What? Now that can't be healthy! Just another example of the extreme measures women will go through for whiter skin.

Funny how most women in the west like to get a tan and hate pale complexions. I have to admit I used to be the kind of girl that always went to the beach for tanning and in Saudi I spent all my days off at the hospital pool enjoying the sunshine. In the west some women take tanning to the extreme using spray tanning, tanning booths and so on resulting in a year round "healthy glow".
You won't find many tanning booths in Saudi though, just go to any beauty salon in Saudi and instead they actually have whitening booths! Salons will have a wide variety of skin whitening treatments available. One of the newest trends is using laser.

It's really sad to witness this phenomenon in Saudi and elsewhere in the world. My daughter has already been effected by it. It's always pointed out how white she is. I have been requested by my husbands family members not to take her out in the sun so she wouldn't get tanned. When we got back from our summer holiday in Finland, where we spent most of our time out in the sunshine my daughter had tanned quite a lot and I heard some pretty negative comments on her new color.

I love that my daughter has a darker complexion than mine, I think it's beautiful. In Finland she is "dark" but in Saudi she is "white". I wish people would stop looking at the surface and look deeper for beauty in the person. The outer color really does not matter.

P.S. If you liked this post or if you're just a really, really nice and beautiful person, with an extra 37 seconds to spare, then would you please pretty please click here :http://2012.bloggi.es/ to vote for Blue Abaya at the 12th Annual Weblog Awards! Few days left for voting and Blue Abaya is nominated as Best Asian Blog. THANK YOU!!

Lessons Learned on the Saudi Roads

Let me tell you a story and a valuable learning experience from our Saudi Road trip.

So we were cruising on the highway in the rented SUV somewhere between Kharj and Wadi Al-Dawasir surrounded by literally NOTHING else than rocks. The scenery out there is just flat. Not even the random camels you often see roaming in the desert could be seen, let alone a twig. Just flatness. And rocks.

This sign indicates there would in fact be camels around but I think they just put it there for looks.

This was the most interesting scenery and the only pic I took for about 500km.

So back to the story, I was sitting in the backseat next to the baby who was playing with her toys in her car seat (or so I thought). I was pumping milk and had the lights off because in case some over enthusiastic idiot drove too close and got all excited from a glimpse of that glamorous sight (let me tell you there is nothing glamorous or exciting about pumping milk, but with Saudi guys, you never know). So in order to save time I figured I could just pump the milk and give it to her in a bottle instead of having to make another stop.

My mom and husband were listening to some weird radio program that sounded like it was being broadcast from outer space. It was the only channel available in English out there. I think it was the news but I could be wrong because like I said it sounded like it was coming from light years away. But anyways they had the volume so high I could not even hear the breast pump make the yatouhuuyatouhuuyatouhuu -sound.

Suddenly I realized the baby was making a gagging sound. Ok I was not so alarmed at first because my baby has some sort of obsession of sticking fingers in her mouth so far that it makes her gag. And she thinks it's funny! This baby does not have a sense of humor! I mean who does that anyways? And please don't tell me there's something called baby-bulimia because there's not. It's just her thing ok.

So I told her to stop (as if it helps) but it just got worse. I flipped the light on and saw she was really gagging on something this time. From this point on the story becomes a bit blurry in my mind.

I shouted to my husband to stop the car because the baby was choking and he braked so hard the car almost flipped. We stopped on the side of the highway where maniacs are speeding by at 200km/h. My husband and mom ran out of the car to her side and took her out of the car seat. Did I mention I was still attached to the breast pump? Oh and that mom was not wearing her abaya.

It was so dark they couldn't see clearly if there was anything in her mouth. I had taught my husband basic CPR skills in cases of emergency and stressed the importance of the "no blind sweeping" rule. I was so proud that he remembered it when he was forbidding mom from doing it! I saw the baby become increasingly red from gagging from her face at this point. Which could be seen as a good sign because at least there's still oxygen in her system.

The only thing I could think of was to get to her. So I just threw the bottles on the floor and got out of the car with my ta-tas peeking out of the abaya (which I only realized later).

I took the baby and automatically started doing what I had been practicing many times with a dummy in Life Support classes. Somehow time stopped and things slowed down like in the Matrix movies except that thankfully I didn't have to dodge any bullets. I was thinking to myself this is not happening. I am not going to let her choke here, in the middle of the desert! There is no time for an ambulance or even helicopter to reach us(and where the hell are we anyways, next to rock number 76,945,412?) I was determined to get the thing out of her.

Looking back I cannot believe how calm I was. I kept hitting her in the back to hope something would fly out but without avail. The baby was starting to get limp and blue and stopped gagging. So I decided to look once more in her mouth by shining the iPhone light in there. And lo and behold there it was. A piece of clear plastic stuck down her throat.

I managed to get it out and THANK GOD she started breathing normally again. The sneaky little bugger had reached out to a small plastic wrapper and started chewing on it. Despite the 100 toys I had given her to play with in the car seat. I mean who does that?

So what lessons can we learn from this story?
-Learn basic life support skills, and teach your partner and other family members too.
-While pumping breast milk in car in Saudi-Arabia, remember to close your abaya when finishing and getting out of the car
-That said don't pump milk in a car in Saudi-Arabia.
-Or rent a car with tinted back windows
-Always keep your iPhone charged
-Babies like to chew on plastic bags
-Babies like to play with anything ELSE than their own toys
-Always keep your baby in a car seat

-The scenery between Kharj and Wadi-Al-Dawasir is most likely the most BORING you will ever see.
-Saudi radio stations suck

Learn CPR:
http://globalcrisis.info/cpr.html#baby
Why you shouldn't blindly stick your fingers in your babies mouth:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1342520/pdf/jaccidem00006-0058.pdf

Children Are Treasures Not Airbags!

Dear parents in Saudi-Arabia,

I've noticed that many of you don't care too much about the safety of your children in the cars.

I have always wondered how you can have this nonchalant attitude whilst driving among the most insane, irresponsible, reckless maniacs drivers in the world?

You love and cherish your children so dearly, yet you place them under such danger by not securing them in seat belts and car seats!
Don't you wish to keep them safe in the crazy traffic of Saudi-Arabia? Did you know that Saudi Arabia's roads are the world's most dangerous ones? A person is killed on them every 90 minutes. A fifth of them are children under 12 years old.
The next one could be your child. Think about it.

Would you let your child run around on a highway, or play in a busy parking lot? I didn't think so.
So why do you let your child jump around in your speeding car? Don't you think its dangerous to let him hang out of the windows? How about having him sit between yourself and the steering wheel? Some people make fun of your careless attitude and say you are using your baby as an Airbag.

Fathers, do you think because you are such great drivers nothing will ever happen to you? Think again.
Do you realize how many children are out there actually driving the cars?

Have you thought about how many road hooligans there are in the streets chasing women and causing accidents?
There is nothing your excellent driving skills can do to prevent accidents caused by other peoples reckless driving habits.

You might think you don't need a car seat or seat belts because Allah will protect your family. It's time to re-think this.
Children are treasures given to you by the grace of God. He has put them under your care. It is your responsibility to protect your child from any harm that you possibly can. God trusts you, are you worth His trust? Parents will be held accountable for this trust on the Day of Judgement.

You wouldn't let your child go in a lions cage at the zoo and just think Allah will protect your child. That would be careless and irresponsible. Just like having your child in your lap while driving. Or allowing her to stand out of the sunroof while speeding on the highway. Equally irresponsible and dumb as placing your child in that cage. Think about it.

In case of an accident, your precious infant will fly out of your lap like a football, no matter how hard you hold on to him. It's proven to be impossible to hold on to a child in case of collision.

Did you know that car seats and seat belts save lives? According to various studies they can cut the risk of infant fatalities by up to 80%.  The tools to help parents protect their child the best way possible are out there. Fulfill your parental responsibility and secure your child into them!

You probably heard the Hadith about the Bedouin that left his camel untied. The Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) said to him: "Be wise [first] and tie your camel, then trust in Allah."

Wouldn't this same golden advice also apply to the most valuable of possessions, your child?

Be wise and tie up your baby in a car seat! 

The rest is up to Allah.

Tips on what kind of car seat to get, instructions how to use them and statistics on child car safety:
http://www.carseatsite.com/FAQ.htm
http://www.safekids.org/safety-basics/babies/on-the-way/carseat-safety-for-babies.html
http://autocollisionsspecialist.homestead.com/untitled2.html
http://www.cdc.gov/features/passengersafety/


This video clip should be watched by all parents: