Saudi-Arabia: A Haven For Child Molesters, Wife Beaters And Daughter Killers?

Maybe you have heard the story of Lama,Al Ghamdi, a five year old girl tortured to death by her own father, a so called religious "sheikh" Fayhan Al Ghamdi. http://english.alarabiya.net/articles/2012/11/11/249009.html
Lama Al Ghamdi was beaten with electric cables, her back broken and half of her head smashed in. She was sexually assaulted and her anal canal torn open which the beast also tried to burn closed. She was brought to the hospital where she remained in ICU for 10 months and then died last October.

To make matters worse, it might happen that this criminal Fayhan Al Ghamdi will be to be let off with just a four months jail sentence and by paying blood money to the victims family. In other words, himself. This could only happen in Saudi-Arabia, where crimes against women and children go mostly unpunished.

Yes there is actually a judge in this day and age who made such a ruling, as ridiculous, horrific and unbelievable this may sound. And this is the image these sick men are giving to the world about Islam. No wonder people think it's an evil religion.
The full story can be read on Saudi Woman's blog: http://saudiwoman.me/2013/01/31/rest-in-peace-lama/
Omaima Al Najjar also wrote about the background of this case: http://omaimanajjar.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/islamic-preacher-getaway-with-a-murder/

I would call Faihan Al Ghamdi an animal, but even animals have more integrity and wouldn't do this to their offspring.

Sick bastards like this exist everywhere in the world but in Saudi-Arabia they can actually get away with their actions. In this so called model state of Islam, men can get away with murdering their children (especially daughters), raping their wives and beating the shit out of their daughters with only minor inconvenience. The courts will always side with the man. After all he is the head of the family and he has the right to treat his "property" as he wishes.

Abuse of women and children are always treated as minor offenses in the Sharia courts. Blood money paid for the heirs of a female victim is half the amount of a male victims. See from the below blood money chart how the life of a woman in Saudi-Arabia is valued always half less that of a male:

• 300,000 riyals if the victim is a Muslim man
• 150,000 riyals if a Muslim woman
• 150,000 riyals if a Christian or Jewish man
• 75,000 riyals if a Christian or Jewish woman
• 6,666 riyals if a man of any other religion
• 3,333 riyals if a woman of any other religion

Truly sickening.

Quran does not mention the amount of money to be paid or any differentiation between the sexes.
"We ordained therein for them: "Life for life, eye for eye, nose or nose, ear for ear, tooth for tooth, and wounds equal for equal." But if any one remits the retaliation by way of charity, it is an act of atonement for himself. And if any fail to judge by (the light of) what Allah hath revealed, they are (No better than) wrong-doers."
This misogynist attitude and rulings come solely from a patriarchal society, not religion, although some of these clerics do try to justify their verdicts based on weak Hadith. Compare this child rapist-killers 4 month sentence to the recent case of the Sri Lankan maid that was executed without fair trial for killing a baby placed in her inexperienced care.

Abusive Saudi men know that they can beat, rape and abuse their women and children without any harsh punishments. Saudi-Arabia's judicial system doesn't help the abused women and always backs up the abusive men. The law serves as a haven for these kind of men.

According to Saudi Woman's article, if the woman reports the abuse to the police, the Hai'a (religious police) and her guardian (her abuser) are called to harass the victim out of reporting it for up to four hours before the social services are called. How many women in that situation are actually strong enough to face these bullies and end up going back home to her abuser?

A while ago I was faced with the difficult situation of my friend here suffering physical abuse from her husband. She's a foreign wife with a Saudi husband. Her husband has abused her for years even before they moved to Saudi-Arabia. They have one child and he had even beaten her while she was pregnant. Now I'm sure that any woman who has been in that situation knows how difficult it is to leave and how there always seems to be a time of calm and the abuse ends. The husband becomes an "angel", only for the abuse to start up again.

Word of warning to any woman outside Saudi-Arabia currently dating, engaged to or married to a Saudi man with an abusive history: DO NOT under ANY circumstances move to Saudi-Arabia with him, EVER. He WILL continue the abuse here. He might tell you he promises to change. He will, but for the WORSE. Even if he promises to go to a psychologist to get treatment, he won't change his ways. Even if he cries, begs you to come, promises you the world..It simply won't work like that. Don't be naive and trust these men. Instead my advice to you is run the other direction and never look back.

If you end up in KSA with him, he will most likely keep you as a prisoner and limit your life and all the contact you have to the outer world. I have personally seen and heard of women like this. He will not give you a phone or maybe even let you use the internet. If he hits you, no one will or can help you. No laws will protect you. Your life will become hell. His family will not help you, they will protect him. I am not exaggerating. Saudi-Arabia is the worst place in the world to be with an abusive, controlling husband, period.

So on to the case of the woman I mentioned. Her husband had beaten her so bad she broke some bones. She didn't have a cell phone because her husband had not given her one, and since they'd recently moved, she didn't even know where she lived. Her only way to contact anyone was through Facebook. The husband had locked her up in a room without windows and left the house with the child. Since she doesn't know anyone in Riyadh, she asked me for help. Together with another friend we were trying to help her to find out where the apartment was located so that we could go and take her to the hospital since she was in severe pain.

We couldn't figure out where she was and since she couldn't even see outside to give some landmarks, she remained in her agony alone in the apartment and there was nothing anyone could do about it. She asked me the number to the police, she wanted to call them from the husbands phone when he came back. In any other country I would've encouraged her to call the police and report him. In Saudi-Arabia however it's not a good idea, especially if you're a foreign woman.

Will the police believe her or the husband? What if he tells them she fell? The woman is not Muslim, most likely they will believe the husband over her. What if she makes the report in any case, who will protect her from the husbands rage afterwards? There are no shelters for her to go to. No relatives to help. Her husband's family would most likely say it's normal and nothing that can be done about it. Us friends could take her in, but would the husband allow that? Of course not, at least not with the child. He might get upset at her making the report and send her back to her home country. He has the power to do so, and to keep their daughter in Saudi-Arabia and the woman would never see her again. If the case ever were to go forward, the judge would just brush it off by saying she deserved it by disobeying the husband and that he had the right to beat her.

So I told my friend, don't call the police. You will just get yourself into more trouble. What I did advise her is to get out of the country with her child and never come back. She's going for vacation to her home country and I sincerely hope she finds the strength to leave him and never returns to Saudi-Arabia.

Back to the story of Lama. There's still a little hope for Fayhan Al Ghamdi to be charged with capital punishment but her mother is from a very poor family and they haven't been able to get a lawyer yet. There is going to be another hearing this Sunday. Hopefully the family would be able to get a good lawyer for her and they can appeal the sentence to get this monster locked up. Fayhan Al Ghamdi deserves the same fate as he inflicted upon his daughter.

What is important now is to get her story out there. Spread the word, tell the world about this little angel and her monster father and the cowardly misogynist men who stand behind him. Paying blood money for killing your own children is a disgrace and crime toward all children and women in the world.  Al Ghamdi deserves the death penalty for his atrocious crime. This man is sick and will most likely commit such horrendous acts again. Help Lama's mother get justice by forwarding her story.

I hope there is a very very special place waiting for Fayhan Al Ghamdi in hell.

May the little angel rest in peace.

UPDATE: Lama's mother Syeda Ali has a lawyer and the trial has been postponed two weeks. There is no official verdict yet and Lama's mother is refusing blood money and pushing for death sentence for Fayhan Al-Ghamdi, who remains in jail awaiting trial.
No blood money has been paid yet nor was Fayhan Al Ghamdi set free, despite many news sources reporting he was released.

Saudi IKEA's Misogynistic Madness

I might have gotten out of bed with the wrong foot as we say in Finland, but I noticed something so disturbing today that I just HAD to rant a little bit about it. I mean this is complete and utter madness. So Dumb. Disturbs me what kind of sickos and women haters are out there.

This is the source of my headache, an article in the Swedish Metro magazine this morning: http://www.metro.se/nyheter/kvinnor-gar-inte-att-retuschera-bort/EVHlja!2mPseJ6LPTrK2/
So the new IKEA catalogs are out and can be viewed online at their site www.ikea.com.
All the countries have pretty much the same stuff on offer and the catalogs look the same. Except for of course Saudi-Arabia, the so called model country of Islam.

What's different in the Saudi IKEA catalog then? Can anyone take a wild guess?
They censored it. ALL THE IMAGES OF WOMEN have magically disappeared from the Saudi version. A misogynistic airbrusher has vandalized the entire catalog.

You might have seen how they censor stuff in Saudi-Arabia before, like blacking out half clad women from the swimming pool packages or placing white tape on celebrity decolletages, drawing imaginary black leggings and T-shirts on women in the women's magazines or spray painting the bare skin parts black. Heck they even black out the word PORK from food items.

I can understand why some of the censoring is done in Saudi-Arabia if I really really try hard to block most of my brain activity while at the same placing my head in a very narrow tunnel. But people, this is a furniture catalog, OK? Who the hell needs to censor a furniture catalog anyways?

Take a tour of the Saudisized IKEA here: http://imagesofsaudi.blogspot.com/2012/02/saudi-ikea-experience.html
The censorship at the actual Riyadh IKEA store has always creeped me out. Check this out:

 What on earth was going on in their minds when they decided to do that? It's just the babies mother for God's sake!

How about this? The woman is fully covered! Looks like someone has some serious issues with women.

As a woman I find this highly offensive and insulting. This must also be the height of hypocrisy. I wonder how many of the men responsible for this stupidity have maids (as in unrelated females) living in their houses? I would guess 99%.

What is the point to remove all the women from the Saudi catalog? Women do exist. What are these misogynist men trying to accomplish by this, trying to imagine women don't exist? Do they not watch the news or TV at all? Do they not go to malls or grocery stores? Images of women are everywhere in Saudi-Arabia! Heck there is even REAL uncovered women out there on the streets of the conservative capital Riyadh. Should they be blocked from public view too? Even the women's magazines that are allowed in the Magic Kingdom are not censored like this. So why IKEA?

I wonder how IKEA as a Scandinavian company is even agreeing to this. Sweden is one of the most gender equal countries in the world. What a mockery this is to equality of women. This is oppression of women. What an absolute shame and disgrace that is going on with Saudi IKEA. I feel insulted as a Scandinavian. As if the women are indecent or shameful and thus needed to be removed. These are normal everyday images of women, of mothers with children in their homes, not of women posing in sexy positions in bikinis or miniskirts.

What do these people think, that Saudi men can't handle a few images of mostly fully clad women? Are Saudi men expected to be so sex deprived they would go crazy to see these tempting Swedish women? Do these perverted minds assume all men think like them and would take the magazine into the bathroom for some "private viewing"? How disgusting. Is someone out there really this sick? For the life of me I can't understand what is wrong with this picture of a family brushing their teeth together:

And in the Saudi version the mother has disappeared. I find this very sad that someone thought she needed to be removed. What kind sick minds are these?

This is the scene from the normal catalog kitchen section, the screen shot taken from the UAE catalog. How are the UAE men able to handle the images of women btw?

You would think that women naturally appear in the kitchens right? Not in Saudi! They also removed the man though. But hey, by taking a closer look we can see the woman looks Asian. Wouldn't this be a scene from a typical Saudi home then? An unrelated, uncovered Asian woman working in the kitchen, mixing with the Saudi males of the family. Why is it totally fine in the home but not in the catalog? Can anyone say double standards?
Maybe they removed the guy too so that Saudi women don't get any ideas of hiring male maids! God forbid an unrelated male mixing with Saudi women. What would the world turn into.

Another image from the real world. A family cooking happily together, father, grandfather, mother, children all joyfully together. What is so wrong with this image that Saudi-Arabia can't handle it?

First of all scenes like this just don't exist in Saudi homes. Better to remove the grandpa (although he looks culturally acceptable with his muttawa-look) and the father so that Saudi women won't get any ideas in their heads that men do actually cook in countries like Sweden and thus become too demanding on the Saudi men. The woman is dressed so indecently that she needs to be removed straight away. The kids are helping to set up the table. What! Helping?? Where is the maid? Totally unacceptable to make children to do housework. This is what it should look like:

Except that the magic deleting wand forgot the wine bottle on the table. What a horrific mistake! Someone might some bad ideas from that!
How about this image. Honestly I can't even tell which one is the woman immediately. She seems to be dressed just like the male counterparts. But because she's a woman..DELETE.

How ridiculous can this get really? The entire catalog is full of examples like this. Why does the IKEA censor hate women so much they need to be completely deleted from the catalog? Above all how could IKEA, which is a company based on family values and comes from a country once chosen as the best country for women to live in, accept this misogynistic madness? Are women not welcome into the Saudi-Arabian IKEA stores?


Edit: IKEA has issued a statement saying it regrets its decision saying "We should have reacted and realized that excluding women from the Saudi Arabian version of the catalog is in conflict with the IKEA Group values." http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444592404578030274200387136.html?mod=WSJUK_hps_LEFTTopWhatNews

The Invisible Women

Few weeks ago at a friend's house we were watching a program that discusses social issues in Saudi-Arabia. I had actually never watched the program before since my understanding of Arabic is not that good to follow the whole discussion.

So the program called MBC 8pm (aired from Riyadh) has experts in their field come over to share their views on each episode's topic. I was surprised to see a woman with an uncovered face on the show sitting next to the men, participating in the discussion. How did they allow this mingling on Saudi TV?

We'd been watching for a while and then suddenly someone said, "you all realize there's five people sitting around the table right?" Wait, what? Where? OMG is there someone sitting in the far left corner?

A woman in all black was indeed there. She hadn't said anything or even moved and they had placed her in front of the black background to make her literally invisible. At first it seemed really funny and comical and everyone (including Saudis) laughed. Why would they even bother to have her on the show if she was not going to speak? And how about placing her in another seat to make her more visible? It was almost as if the director was making fun of her appearance.
Especially when they were picturing the stern and concerned expressions on the other participant's faces while listening to the audience calling in and they showed her "expression" too.

This image reminds me more of a character in Star Wars than of a human being. The form doesn't have much human resemblance to it. Maybe it was a dummy since there was no movement?

Ironically perhaps they were discussing women's rights, this time in case of divorce and this woman was supposed to be the representative of the women's rights organization. Who does she in fact represent? The invisible, silent or silenced women out there? The ones who are all good with their rights been taken away by patriarchal legal systems such as the Saudi one? Women who think they should remain silent, patient and accepting of everything because the woman's word is not as important as the man's? Women who think their voices are too enticing for men to hear them? Or perhaps those women out there that sincerely believe (or were brainwashed to believe) that men were created a level better than them?

 The show also brought out these two very different approaches or interpretations of the Islamic women's dress code. The all black approach to me personally seems very extreme and unnecessary. The woman is literally handicapped by her outfit. She cannot see clearly, her hearing has been impaired by all those thick layers of cloth, her breathing has been restricted and her voice muffled. The gloves on her hands inhibit her sense of touch. Even moving around in this attire is difficult. Every sense in her body has been hindered. It is as if her dress places her in disadvantage not only as a participant in this program but also in public life in general.

Honestly is this really what God in all His wisdom wanted women to look like in public, 'black crows' as some clerics have put it? Would God really be so evil that He wanted women to suffer so much under those black layers while men can just strut around in shorts and go topless in public in the +50c heat? How can a human being even interact normally with all these obstructions? Would He make women cover every inch of their bodies and be deprived of fresh air, oxygen and the health benefits of the suns rays on their skin resulting in not only the woman's illness but her offspring as well? If this were what God intended for all women then how would women be able to wear this in the jungle or in the savanna where so many women live and work without even a hope of air-conditioning? They would die of heat stroke or dehydration in no time!

Now I believe in freedom of speech and dress but what bothers me about extremes like this is how it goes against the teachings of Islam. Extremism in any form or way always has a negative influence on humans. Going to extremes in any aspect of life is never good. And if this is not overly extreme, then what is?

Also disturbing is the fact that many truly believe this is what all Muslim women should look like and anything else is basically, going to hell. They think it's best women remain unrecognizable and hidden, without a trace of what is normally apparent from humans. Many women do choose this type of dress but others might be forced to cover so drastically by their families. Unfortunately some of those women who choose from their own free will, (including some western converts) tend to be very judgmental and even hostile toward those Muslim women who don't cover as much as they do. As if the more layers you hide yourself underneath, the better Muslim you become. The more invisible, silent and submissive a woman is in all aspects, the better.

I just don't believe God intended half the world's population to be invisible shadows. That just doesn't make any sense.

"Children of Adam, take your adornment / pleasantness to every Mosque." (Qur'an 7:31)

This verse addresses both women and men describing them as having a pleasant appearance and adornment. 

"(People), do you not see how God has made what is in the heavens and the earth useful to you, and has lavished His blessings on you both outwardly and inwardly?" (Qur'an 31:20)

This verse tells us how God made both women and men attractive inside and out. Why does only the other gender have to cover it all? Men can be outwardly beautiful and alluring to women as well as vice versa. Why would there be so many so called heart-throbs and top 100 lists of handsome men out there if women didn't find them attractive? If women were really ordered to cover every single inch of visible skin because they are attractive to men then by the same mentality, why shouldn't men cover from women's "lustful" eyes? Both should be modest equally, there is no differentiation here.

The verses in the Quran that speak about women and modesty have always been highly debated. There are many different translations and interpretations of verse 24:31 in the Quran which speaks specifically of men then women and modesty, here are few examples of the part for the women:

"Tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts, and that they shall not flaunt their beauty except for what appears (naturally) from it, and let them put forth their covers over their cleavage" 

"And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment "

"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands, or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.) and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment"

So basically the one and only body part which is specifically mentioned by name that women are guided to cover here are the chest/bosom/breasts. Private parts should be guarded which I guess would come naturally. All the other versions of this are mere interpretations of the different meanings of words such as khimaar and Juyubihinna which is why there are so many varying views on what is the proper dress code for women. Everything in those brackets has been added by humans (misogynist men).

Personally I think the verse being ambigous and vague has much wisdom to it. This way it gives a certain degree of variability and freedom of choice because women live in such different climates and under many circumstances which all require different types of dress. The point is to maintain modesty and make sure your breasts are not popping out, that's it. 

Women were not created to be mere shadows of humans. 

White Lies, Black Lies and Big Fat Liars

One thing I will never understand about Arab culture is telling lies. It's just so common in the Arab world for men to lie to their womenfolk. Men lie to their wives, to their mothers, sisters, and kids. Women are almost always the targets of these lies. The Arab man is the master of all types of lies.

I come from a culture of a respect for absolute honesty. Finns are the most honest people you will find on earth. We always top the corruption studies as the number one least corrupt country. Finns can leave their doors open and always return lost wallets, some with all the money in there. Even our politicians are honest (well ok not ALL)!

So the lying Arab male to me is like a red flag in front of my eyes and seeing this phenomenon makes smoke come out of my ears and nostrils!

What could be behind all this lying?

An Arab man is brought up surrounded by liars. He will grow up seeing how his father lies to his own mother on a continuous basis without any consequences. Maybe his father took more wives and was dishonest with the first wife, and of course the second one. Nobody will know the truth except the men.

The boy adapts this seriously screwed-up model in his own life and applies to his wife and own children. Men are basically honest with each other, but with women for some reason they are not able to be truthful 100% of the time. Some not even 2% of the time it seems.

The Arab man will tell white lies to his wife all the time. Some are "innocent" with no bad intentions, but lies nevertheless.  But even if the man supposedly sincerely (only an Arab man can lie sincerely) means good with his lie, it doesn't mean it is not going to hurt the recipient. White lies can also hurt the most.

Sometimes he will make black, ugly-ass lies to get himself out of trouble. We have a saying in Finland that is very fitting for the description "kuin koira veräjästä" meaning he will take the easy way out, or literally "escape like a dog from the back door". 

The sad thing is that being a big fat liar is a perfectly normal status for him. The Arab man does not even feel ashamed of lying. You will never find him apologizing or begging on his knees for the wife to forgive his idiotic actions even though that would be the right thing to do.

He thinks it's his birth-right to lie to women.

Especially if it is to "protect" the woman.

A typical Arab guy will never tell his womenfolk the absolute truth about his financial situation. Arab men are experts at hiding assets and keeping purchases, loans or bankruptcy from the women of the family. Is it because they think women are too emotional to handle anything deemed serious? Do they view women as stupid and incapable of handling finances? Do they think telling women about finances will cause the poor women to faint or start ululating and pulling their hair out in shock of how lousily he has dealt with money?

Are Arab men really so dumb to think women don't have a clue? 

Well I have a newsflash for those dumb-asses out there: You are probably the one with only clues. Your wife most likely is the one with more sense and when it comes to money-issues if given a chance would excel you in them.

Men like this are simply weak and afraid of women. Afraid that they will be better and take control. 

The Arab man has to always be in control. His pride is too high for anything else. By lying he thinks takes control. But of course, he is wrong. This is the only conclusion I can make from this idiotic habit of compulsive lying. Or then they are just cowards. Too scared of the truth and rather hide behind ridiculous stories.

How does this happen, seriously I just don't get the mentality behind it. How does a man come to think it's better to lie to the wife than tell the truth? He will get caught someday anyways, so why not be honest from the beginning? Why take the extra drama and hurt feelings? Wouldn't it actually be easier on him to come forth with the truth right from the start?

So what if the woman gets hurt or upset from what he has to say? She will get a MILLION times more upset about the lie AND the action. If she were to know beforehand, she might get upset at first but at least being honest with her would lessen the hurt.

Why is it so common for Arab men to lie to women? Withholding the truth is just another form of lying! Also, how do women come to accept this, because it wouldn't be so common if more women viewed as unacceptable right?

P.S. please refrain from making a comment stating not ALL Arab men are big fat liars. This is by no means what I intended to say. There are good men, there are bad men and there are good men with bad days.
P.P.S. I realize men lie all over the world, even Finnish men. No need to remind me of that, but the post is about this specific cultural phenomenon.

The Walk For Cure-Saudi Style

The Walk for Cure-a walkathon for Breast Cancer Awareness was arranged this Thursday in Riyadh at the Kingdom school. The concept of a walkathon for supporting breast cancer awareness comes from the U.S where numerous such walks have been organized.

I was really looking forward to this event as I'm always eager to promote women's rights and issues and curious to see how it had been arranged by the group of local women. I was anticipating a pleasant and relaxing afternoon and getting some high quality pics to share with the world but it turned out something totally different.

When I arrived at the event with my mom the honest, obsessive-compulsively rule-following inner-Finn in me whispered into in my ears, "you should ask permission" "you must obey the rules". I tried to fight saying chillax, it's Saudi, honesty and going by the rules don't always go down like that. But the inner-Finn won the battle and I approached the people involved in arranging the event. BIG MISTAKE, huge.

Naturally I'm aware of how some Saudi women feel about photos, especially in women only events. However, having attended many such events, I knew women often took pictures with their iPhones and small compact cameras without any disturbance from on-lookers. I always thought Saudis thought images taken with anything other than a so called professional camera were in fact, not images at all.

I told the women involved in organizing the event that I would like to take some pics to promote the event and spread the message. I underlined the fact that I would just shoot places and things, not women. I mentioned I work with an agency that sells photos to various international media about interesting events in the Middle-East, and this would be a great chance to promote their event.

The woman I talked to started the blah blah blah of how Saudi women feel about photography. I stressed I would not shoot women.
I was told they already have volunteer photographers there and they could send me the pics.
So photography is going on at the event. Wait, didn't you just say the women were so bothered by it? She wondered why they hadn't confiscated my camera at the door.

I told this person I obviously can't send other peoples pics to the agency as my own.
I think I'm a pretty decent photographer, so I asked can I be one of those volunteers and share all my pics with them?
Again, no. We already have seven.

Really, seven? So you have photographers in every corner taking pictures here, why can't I do it too? Because of how some women feel, apparently. Well I'm sorry but those women just need to get over themselves. I am not going to shoot you in your pink jumpsuit or show your heavily make-uped faces and huge hairdos. As if I have no respect and dignity. I'm here for the important cause and wish to promote it. Not to violate faces.

I mentioned to this person how I wanted to at least just shoot the floating lanterns. No, it's not allowed.
Come on it's LANTERNS not women. Geez. I had envisioned an image of hands simultaneously lifting the floating Chinese lanterns into the sky, maybe having a slow shutter speed to make it look a little hazy to capture the movement. But I should have known better.

It's just beyond me why the organizers didn't want to promote their event and the cause as much as possible worldwide. This indifference is the typical Saudi attitude for anything remotely interesting, it seems.

I bet it would do a lot of good for foreigners to see that such events do go on in Saudi, and best yet, the event is arranged by Saudi women. So it would spread a positive picture of Saudi women as doers and makers and also of Saudi in general, in addition to the actual event.

No but let's just keep to the bleak, joyless, confined image of Saudi women's life the rest of the world has. Why show anything positive?

I was pretty annoyed at this point. I tried to stay positive anyway and enjoy the event.

So we went in the hall where they had a few booths selling some pink items and then other educational ones teaching women about breast cancer. We bought some things and took brochures. The best booth by far was the U.S embassy health services booth. They had some rubber breasts you could palpate and try to detect the tumors.

I had already noticed Saudis and women of various other nationalities snapping away with all sorts of capturing devices that don't produce real images. Oh look it's me and the flower arrangement. Snap. Or look I bought this pink hairband! Snap. No one seemed to care. My annoyance grew but I kept my camera confined because the uber-honest inner-Finn still had the power over me.

Here is an example of a non-image. You can't actually see it, because it's been taken with an iPhone, but I swear I uploaded it and its right below this text. It shows the ambassadors wife wearing a really cool knitted pink scarf. "Photo" credit goes to Zaki Safar, founder of Saudi Men for Women Driving, whose sister actually made that lovely scarf. Thanks for letting me use the non-image!Check out his excellent blog on Saudi women's rights http://zakisafar.com/

At the U.S embassy booth my irritation levels topped off when I saw a large group of women start taking group pictures. Saudi women were around. Again, nobody really cared, or at least said anything. I kept my camera in my bag but my fingers were burning to take it out.

After a few minutes the U.S ambassador's wife came to join them and the joyful photo shoot session continued. My irritation grew to the point I felt if I was a teapot my lid would fly in the air because of the steam in my head. Mom was pretty annoyed by all this too. She knew that I was missing a great job opportunity as well as the this whole no photos thing was turning out to be a complete joke.

We spent a few minutes talking to the embassy people, they were so nice and professional. Then something just clicked (not my camera, but perhaps the honest inner-Finn fainted from all the rule breaking going on) and I thought to myself why not just shoot a few photos here? So I asked the women and they agreed. The photo is not even that great because I was scared to use a flash in fear of being exposed and then jumped on by Saudi anti-camera activists, plus I had my wide angle lens on which distorted the photo a bit.

Luckily, no assaults occurred and my confidence grew a bit. I had stopped hearing my inner-Finn ranting about obeying rules and had started to feel more Saudi. So we went outside to sit on the nice chairs there and I walked to the end where there was no people. Like a criminal, I crept behind the chairs taking some pics of the flowers. I felt ridiculous. Seriously, people like I was committing the biggest crime. Those pics turned out acceptable.

Mom was too tired and freezing (unacceptable for a Finnish woman used to swimming in frozen lakes without sauna) to take the actual walk so we stayed behind as the women left. Again, I had envisioned how I would portray the actual walk without face violations. I wanted to capture the feet of a large group of the women walking, again capturing the motion and the different colors of shoes. But that was just wishful thinking.

I did have one picture opportunity of the walk as I watched the women far away pass a "Think Pink" sign. I focused with my mega zoom onto the sign and the women walking past behind the fence remained unrecognizable blurry figures. My heart was pounding. I felt like a sniper.

Since most women were walking I took my chance to go back in and took a few pics of the items on sale with my iPhone. I won't post them on here because you would not be able to see them anyways.

I came back to the table to find this scene: One annoyed and freezing mother, pink flowers and women walking in the background. So I thought it's time to take a break.

We went home which was in the neighborhood to breastfeed my baby, the plan being to return at 7 for the much awaited event, the launching of the Chinese floating lanterns. I had been looking forward to it the whole week so I was pretty excited.

I had set my goal to take that awesome lantern pic I had dreamed of. Nothing was going to stop me. Not even that enormous black clad security ninja. I knew everyone was going to want to capture that moment anyway with their non-camera capturing devices. But here's a pic of the clouds turning pink as if someone from above is sending a sign of support :)

We returned a little before seven, in accordance to what the woman responsible for the event programme had told us, only to realize the whole event was already finished. WTH? I wanted to take my STC freebie stress ball out and squeeze the life out of it. I felt temped to confront this "expert". I could not believe they had told us the wrong time. How unprofessional and above all annoying, which went well with the theme of the day.

No floating lanterns for us. I bet it was beautiful though.

Note to self: Next time mute the honest inner-Finn and act more Saudi.

Sharing Husbands is Caring!

Polygamy, the topic that always sparks up a heated discussion. Most non-Muslim women will find the idea of multiple wives appalling and unfair among millions of other things. Some Muslim ladies might feel somewhat the same, or would never want it for themselves and rather have a divorce. There are those who remain neutral and hope their husbands will not marry another, but won't ask for a divorce if they do. And on the other hand we have women who are defenders and spokes-persons for polygamy.

This might come as a surprise for many. I certainly never thought I would come across a Muslim woman who speaks FOR polygamy. I imagined all women would kind of stick to defending women's rights and not men's rights. But I was wrong. Sadly there's always women who think of men's feelings and needs as superior to women's.

These polygamy-activists make co-wifery sound like a walk in the park. A pleasant, calm and enjoyable experience. But how come all of the polygamous marriages I heard/know about are nothing like that? I would rather describe them as roller-coaster rides or even as life on a deserted island. In most cases, polygamy makes the lives of the women and children miserable. The husband is the one walking in the different parks.

Personally I don't understand women who think they must advertise polygamy. Sure, Islam allows it under certain conditions, but that does not mean it encourages it. Some very few women might of course want to be in a polygamous marriage even going as far as suggesting it to the husband or helping to find the second, third or fourth wife. Voluntary polygamous marriages where all parties live happily do exist, but they are extremely rare.

Polygamy is not for all couples and not every Muslim woman has to accept it as part of their own lives. The fact of the matter is polygamy breaks most marriages and traumatizes children affected by it. Defending men's rights to take second wives on a whim or for sexual pleasure and saying women should just suffer for the sake of Allah and pray they become better wives is just strange and even offensive coming from a woman's mouth.

It's not a Muslim woman's duty to accept being a co-wife. Women are different. Most cannot handle being a co-wife, and that's perfectly normal and human. I think acknowledging that is important. Thinking this way should not be made a shameful thing. That is one of the issues I have with pro-polygamists. They tend to think women who deny their husbands polygamy are MAJOR SINNERS.


Polygamy fanatics like to raise themselves above other Muslim sisters by saying things like "how dare she have the audacity to deny her husband his God given rights". They say stuff like "Allah gave men a much stronger drive than women and to help keep him from committing sins He gave him the right to more than one spouse" or  best yet "none of us truly believes until we want for our sisters what we want for ourselves, and that includes sharing a good husband with someone who has not yet found one".


Seriously? If you TRULY believe, the only way to show it is to share your husband, especially the good ones.


Sharing is caring!

The way polygamy is practiced in Saudi-Arabia today is just light years away from what it was back in the times of the Prophet Mohammed. The justification of sexual pleasure is not mentioned anywhere in the Quran, yet it remains one of the most repeated slogans from pro-polygamists. When speaking of polygamy, it should be considered how, where and why the verse was actually revealed.


The verse in the Quran was revealed after the battle of Uhud which left hundreds of orphans and widows behind "If you fear that you will not be just/equitable to the orphans, then marry as permissible for you, women, two, three or four. But if you fear you will not be just/equitable, then one or to whom you are committed to by oath. That is better so that you do not deviate from the right course". 4:3

To me considering the background, this reads: If you're a man and there happens to be a situation where there are much more women than men following massive loss from battles resulting in many orphans in need of a providing parent, then to solve this problem, and in this case only, you are allowed to marry up to four women from the mothers of those orphans in order to help them, but you must be financially, physically and emotionally equipped to treat them equally, and in order to be just to all, you must ask the first wife's permission to do so, otherwise stick to just one wife which is better for you.

How can a man be just in his treatment anyway if he doesn't get approval from the first wife? If she is against the idea, he is not treating her justly. Marrying another wife against her wishes results in one wife feeling betrayal and anger and thus getting unfair and unequal treatment. So from the start a man that marries behind the wife's back or contrary to her wishes has gone against what the verse states as a clear condition to plural marriage.

Speaking about fairness and justice, I think this verse from the Quran "You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire,.. 4:129 sort of hits the nail on the coffin for pro-polygamy speeches.


If  according to the Quran, no man will EVER be able to do perfect justice with his wives, in addition to just treatment being the condition to taking multiple wives, then to me that either implies polygamy is HIGHLY discouraged (but still permissible) or downright not to be messed with.


Despite these facts, polygamy activists have a mind of their own. They like to pull out the "sex drive"-card. Those poor men have such strong urges, they NEED more than one wife to get satisfied and not to go searching for prostitutes. And the first wife MUST accept and understand this. To me this is just disgusting. First of all, is that what the consequent wives are for, only to act as sex toys to the poor husbands? Is this how highly some women think of other women? 


What about those poor women that have much stronger sex drives than their husbands? What is their solution? Why do some women condescend to viewing men as some sort of sexual predators that only think of sex? As if men are not capable of controlling themselves whatsoever. What about women? How can they control their desires? As if women don't have any desires whatsoever.


Another excuse I hear from polygamy defenders in Saudi is that there's just so much more women than men here, it makes taking more wives in fact, charity. It is simply a noble act. Just think of all those unmarried women out there! Anxiously waiting at home, twiddling their thumbs and dreaming of becoming third wives to 60-year old men with 25 kids.

To those people I would like to show these latest statistics.
CIA fact book from Saudi-Arabia:
0-14 years: 29.4% (male 3,939,377/female 3,754,020)

15-64 years: 67.6% (male 9,980,253/female 7,685,328)

65 years and over: 3% (male 404,269/female 368,456) (2011 est).

So in fact, there are 2,294,925 MILLION more men than women of "marriageable" age in Saudi-Arabia.

Wait, doesn't this, according to that same reasoning mean that Saudis should start practicing polyandry instead of polygyny?Hmm..What about all those poor mister spinsters, who will marry them??

"One of His signs is that He created for you spouses like your selves so that you may live with them with affection and mercy - there are signs in this for people who reflect". (Qur'an 30:21)

I wish some women would reflect and stop speaking for men's rights over women's. It's a woman's right to choose whether or not they want to be in a polygamous marriage.
It's a mans world already, don't make it worse.

King Abdullah Starts a New Era for Saudi Women

I was extremely happy to arrive back to Saudi from our Turkey trip. Why? Because it is a historical moment for Saudi women. King Abdullah has announced in his speech that women will be allowed to vote and participate in the Shoura council.


I was so happy that upon hearing this I just wanted to go give him a big bear hug!

Ok maybe that wouldn't be the greatest idea. But you get the idea of how excited I am. This is big news. Saudi women are soon going to participate in decision making in Saudi Arabia. This also gives hope for the future for more decrees like this from the King. (ahem women driving..) Not only the Saudi women but the whole country will benefit from this change.

I guess it's no secret I'm a big fan of the King. He is doing a great job considering the circumstances he has to work under. He has to deal with the heavy pressure from the religious clerics breathing on his back, the mixed public opinions he hears all around, his brothers and other family members on the other side whispering their opinions and demands, his advisors with their own agendas and also his conscious to be the just ruler that is ultimately responsible only to Allah.

It looks like most of the time his ultimate choice has been listening to the heart. That is what makes him so loved by the Saudi people.

The King, estimated to be a staggering 92 years old said in his speech:
 "Because we refuse to marginalize women in society in all roles that comply with Shariah, we have decided, after deliberation with our senior ulema and others to involve women in the Shoura Council as members, starting from the next term"

Well it sure took a long time for them to realize they'd been marginalizing women but better late than never I guess.
Personally I think this is great news and indicates that the country is ready to move forward to this millennium. Some others have been more skeptical. People are saying this is not really going to mean anything concrete will happen for improvement of womens rights. Women are not actually going to have any power in the Shoura, but will only be like puppets and all this was done solely for statistics and looks. The Shoura council and municipal election themselves are said to have little or no actual influence on how the country is ruled.

Western media has perhaps deliberately left unsaid that before 2005 Saudis, regardless of gender were in fact not allowed to vote at all. Or in other words, there was nothing to vote for. When they held the municipal elections for the first time it was most likely due to the resource problems (gender segregation) that women weren't included. For the next round in 2015 women will be able to vote as well as run as candidates. That will be very interesting to see.

The King also said in his speech:
"Muslim women in our Islamic history have demonstrated positions that expressed correct opinions and advice" 


King Abdullah then gave examples from the times of Prophet Muhammad in the seventh century. During the era of the Prophet some women acted as lawyers and people would go to them with complex legal issues, there were female scholars and in general women participated in the society as equals.


It's ironic that the rights given to women by the Prophet over a millenia ago were later taken away by so called religious men and then it took this long for Saudi-Arabia, the birthplace and "model-country" of Islam, to restore some of those rights from times some people refer to as "the Dark Ages". Yet it seems like modern day Arabia is living in a new era of the Dark Age because of how they marginalize women in their societies.


That leads me to think how come major rulings like this can be made, but the problem of women driving still exists? How will the women chosen for Shoura show up for the meetings? Isn't it humiliating if she cannot have the most SIMPLE right of driving, but on the other hand she is able to participate in such an important council?

Is women driving really more momentous than women voting?

What do you think readers? Are the Kings rulings just a way of getting the focus OFF women driving or a prerequisite TO women driving?


As the eternal optimist, I say it's the latter.

More about King Abdullah's mission to improve women's status in the Kingdom: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/08/king-abdullah-emissary-of-saudi-women.html

Read more on the news:http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/26/world/middleeast/women-to-vote-in-saudi-arabia-king-says.html?pagewanted=2&_r=3
 http://www.foxnews.com/world/2011/09/25/saudi-king-lets-women-vote-in-local-elections-for-first-time/?test=latestnews#ixzz1Z1qLVXeH
From other blogs:Sabrias bloghttp://saudiwriter.blogspot.com/2011/09/saudi-women-demonstrate-they-are.html
Crossorads Arabia:
http://xrdarabia.org/2011/09/25/saudi-women-gain-political-rights/

Women to Finally Sell Lingerie in Saudi-Arabia?

Scene from a lingerie store in Riyadh, Saudi-Arabia.
Woman enters shop fully covered in her black abaya.
An Arab male salesclerk approaches with a smile while closely eyeing her body up and down. "Hello ma'm can I help? You need push-up bra?"
-No thank you.
"We have new sexy panties you want to try ma'm?" 
-No thank you, please leave me alone.
Salesman follows her around store within close proximity of about 2 meters. Woman picks up a bra in her size. Salesman takes a long evaluating look at her breasts.
"We don't have your cup size ma'm. That is not your size."
-I think I know my size, thank you.
Woman tries to act as disinterested as possible to make him disappear.
The salesman doesn't take the hint and continues to follow her eagerly bringing a lacy push-up bra in bright purple color for her to see.
"This push-up bra is very excellent quality and we have your size ma'm". 
-No, no, no! And I don't like the color.
"What color you like?"
Woman ignores him and proceeds to cashier. There are no fitting rooms because they are banned, so she must buy the lingerie without trying them on.
"No return or exchange ma'm. Are you sure it's your size, we also have the panties in size XL."
Does my arse look that big in this abaya, the woman thinks to herself while also feeling utterly humiliated.
-This will be fine.
The woman leaves the store blushing and makes a note to self never to purchase underwear in Saudi-Arabia again. Unless it's in the ladies only section of Kingdom shopping mall.

When will this madness and humiliation end?

Soon, if we are to believe that the Kings ruling in June earlier this year to start employing women in Saudi-Arabia's lingerie stores will actually be implemented. According to this news article there have already been measures taken by some large lingerie chains for the switch-over to female staff. A store in the more relaxed city of Jeddah is rumored to have employed women.

Until very recently, women were banned from working in public places like grocery stores because of gender mixing issues. The women that began working at Saudi-Arabia's Panda food chain as cashiers created an uproar of protests from the public and religious authorities. Read about some of the reactions:http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/08/boycott-fatwa-madness-by-supporting.html

Currently if women in the Kingdom wish to purchase the lingerie from saleswomen and have the option of actually trying the clothing on in fitting rooms, they need to go to the female-only sections of shopping malls. It will be interesting to see if the lingerie shops will install fitting rooms along with the change to female only staff. That just might be pushing the limit though.

Closed off from public view, ladies only clothing shops have fitting rooms inside. Will the lingerie shops also be concealed like this to hide the female workers? How will men buy lingerie anymore? Will there be a guard outside to prevent men from entering? Surely there are men out there who wish to buy lingerie as gifts for their wives.

The previous minister of Labour, Dr. Al Qusaibi, issued a law back in 2006 decreeing that only women were to be employed at lingerie shops. It was never implemented because of the strong resistance from religious clerics.

"Women are entrusted to us, we should not involve them in matters far from their nature," mufti Abdul Aziz al-Sheikh said. How far are female body parts from their nature?

A brave Saudi woman Reem Asaad has campaigned for a change to the awkward situation for many years. She reaches out for women to boycott the stores that are non-compliant to the law. She says: "The way that underwear is being sold in Saudi Arabia is simply not acceptable to any population living anywhere in the modern world" . Let alone in the worlds most conservative and private country Saudi-Arabia.


The current Labor Minister Adel Fakieh has given the lingerie stores a deadline of hiring all-female staff by the end of 2011. The law for women working at lingerie stores, make-up stores or other shops selling womens items has a long list of conditions including:

• hired women must be Saudi
• security must be provided
• stores can be family section or women only
• appropriate dress in either traditional abaya or uniforms that conform to hijab
• employer must provide health coverage for female employee and all dependents
• toilets must be provided
• sectioning of female only areas for department stores

Men selling lingerie in Saudi-Arabia has always raised eyebrows and caused unease in both the women buying and the men selling them. Despite the King's ruling, the revised law and social pressure for change, not a single female employee has been seen in Saudi-Arabia's stores, yet.

Time will tell if this time around the Saudi society is ready to have females employed in lingerie stores.

The law issued in July 2011 for females to work at women's item shops: http://www.riyadhchamber.com/tamim/tjobweman.pdf
Read more on women working in Saudi grocery stores here: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/08/boycott-fatwa-madness-by-supporting.html
More on King Abdullah and his mission to improve the status of Saudi women:
http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/08/king-abdullah-emissary-of-saudi-women.html