Hijab And Youth: A Modern Look At Modest Dress In Saudi Arabia

I have the pleasure to share with Blue Abaya readers another article from "Anonymous Saudi Man". It's always interesting to read his view points as we hardly ever hear the Saudi men's side to common issues in the Kingdom. This time he is discussing the hijab and what he feels has been lost from its original meaning. Read also these posts from him: Saudi Punks and Thoughts on Tribalism Love and Marriage

HIJAB AND YOUTH: A MODERN LOOK AT MODEST DRESS IN SAUDI ARABIA

Islam requires its faithful to dress modestly and I know many Muslims who apply this tradition to their daily lives. I believe there are several important and positive reasons for modest dress. One reason is modesty stops the poor from feeling any shame for their lack of wealth, and it reminds the wealthy that their money is to be spent wisely and shared with those less fortunate. Another reason is modest dress helps build a friendly, comfortable society. Modest dress also invites creativity, and encourages people - both men and women - to express their individuality in artful and beautiful styles. Modest dress does not mean boring clothing!

For years Saudi women have been wearing the Hijab, Saudi men limit wearing gold and other forms of jewelry or adornment for religious reasons without really understanding the wisdom and implications of their actions.

I believe the spirit and interpretation of the Hijab is currently lost among modern Saudi youth. Perhaps they’ve been following religious leaders blindly without digging deeper into the legislations. Maybe they are simply confused, as I would assume everyone who studies religion in Saudi is. This might sound like a “Soufi” approach to the Hijab. However, I am not associated with any Soufi groups.

Modest Dress in Other World Cultures

Many world cultures have religions that strive to dress modestly. Some notable examples include the Amish Christian sect in the United States, other world-wide Christian sects (including the Roman Catholics), the Jewish settlers in Israel, secular and religious Shinto or Buddhists in Japan, and Muslims from both the Sunna and Shiaa sects in Saudi Arabia and Iran. I also see modest clothing popping up in non-religious societies like in China. I have also witnessed a revival of modesty among feminists in Western societies. It seems to me that the original meaning of modest dress in the Islamic religious tradition is much better understood in other parts of the world that by Muslims themselves.

Taking Back Modesty - Women

Modesty is also important for men. I find that people are easily impressed of other men in the workplace by the cars they drive or by the suits or accessories they wear. That is why I personally wear modest plaid shirts and a pair of simple jeans and sneakers at meetings or other work-related events. When more formal attire is required, I select a simple thobe with simple plain colored pair of sneakers. This doesn’t mean I do not wear clothing that is more fashionable, personalized, or artsy; I do wear what pleases me, just as I prescribed for women. However, I stay away from any excessive display of wealth through clothing.

Plain, simple, and equal clothing allows people to receive credit and respect for something they worked for rather than something they are given at birth. I believe this is so much more satisfying and healthy for a person's ego and tends to help level the playing field among all people in this life.

Modesty in the Saudi Youth

As I stated earlier, it seems the original meaning of modest dress has turned into a modern phobic reaction against sex. I see the original reason for the Hijab has changed into clothing that people preach about, something that protects women from sexual threats. The Hijab is now designed to cover a young woman's “check lists” of body parts that could arouse men's sexuality. This makes the Hijab seem more like a punishment to young Saudi women and a reaction to men's inability to control their sexuality.

What’s interesting is how there’s no mention in the Saudi justification of wearing hijab on how it’s supposed to limit the vanity of a woman and help keep excessive display of wealth under control. I feel the current interpretation of the Hijab has left out limiting the exposure of brand-name handbags, expensive shoes, or expensive jewelry. Those items are flaunted everywhere. The spirit of the Hijab I believe is now ignored through these displays of excess wealth. I also see this with young Saudi men. The Saudi men drive expensive German cars, wear expensive vanity accessories, brand-name watches, carry the latest cell phones, wear fashionable sunglasses, expensive jeans, designer thobes and gold threaded Bishts (Meshlah or Robes) although Muslim men are forbidden to wear gold. Sadly, I see many religious people tempted by this showing off, and some do indulge themselves in displays of wealth. They justify their actions through religious texts and opinions.

Art and Beauty Does Not Mean Expensive

Beauty does not need to be expensive. This is something that I try to live by. I don’t have to buy expensive accessories and brand names to look fashionable and artistic. In reality, most art and beautiful accessories are very personal and are not sold in stores, nor do they need to be made out of expensive materials. One might debate that expensive name brands and purchased “kitsch” actually diminishes the beauty and artistic value of an accessory or piece of clothing. Bring back modest dress in your life, and stop the excessive display of wealth. Men, you can still look elegant, smell nice, and look professional in inexpensive and modest clothing. Women, if you elect to wear the Hijab, do it for the right reasons. Spread the positive energy of modest dress through art and creativity.

-Anonymous Saudi Man

What do you think? Do you agree with his observations?

The Invisible Women

Few weeks ago at a friend's house we were watching a program that discusses social issues in Saudi-Arabia. I had actually never watched the program before since my understanding of Arabic is not that good to follow the whole discussion.

So the program called MBC 8pm (aired from Riyadh) has experts in their field come over to share their views on each episode's topic. I was surprised to see a woman with an uncovered face on the show sitting next to the men, participating in the discussion. How did they allow this mingling on Saudi TV?

We'd been watching for a while and then suddenly someone said, "you all realize there's five people sitting around the table right?" Wait, what? Where? OMG is there someone sitting in the far left corner?

A woman in all black was indeed there. She hadn't said anything or even moved and they had placed her in front of the black background to make her literally invisible. At first it seemed really funny and comical and everyone (including Saudis) laughed. Why would they even bother to have her on the show if she was not going to speak? And how about placing her in another seat to make her more visible? It was almost as if the director was making fun of her appearance.
Especially when they were picturing the stern and concerned expressions on the other participant's faces while listening to the audience calling in and they showed her "expression" too.

This image reminds me more of a character in Star Wars than of a human being. The form doesn't have much human resemblance to it. Maybe it was a dummy since there was no movement?

Ironically perhaps they were discussing women's rights, this time in case of divorce and this woman was supposed to be the representative of the women's rights organization. Who does she in fact represent? The invisible, silent or silenced women out there? The ones who are all good with their rights been taken away by patriarchal legal systems such as the Saudi one? Women who think they should remain silent, patient and accepting of everything because the woman's word is not as important as the man's? Women who think their voices are too enticing for men to hear them? Or perhaps those women out there that sincerely believe (or were brainwashed to believe) that men were created a level better than them?

 The show also brought out these two very different approaches or interpretations of the Islamic women's dress code. The all black approach to me personally seems very extreme and unnecessary. The woman is literally handicapped by her outfit. She cannot see clearly, her hearing has been impaired by all those thick layers of cloth, her breathing has been restricted and her voice muffled. The gloves on her hands inhibit her sense of touch. Even moving around in this attire is difficult. Every sense in her body has been hindered. It is as if her dress places her in disadvantage not only as a participant in this program but also in public life in general.

Honestly is this really what God in all His wisdom wanted women to look like in public, 'black crows' as some clerics have put it? Would God really be so evil that He wanted women to suffer so much under those black layers while men can just strut around in shorts and go topless in public in the +50c heat? How can a human being even interact normally with all these obstructions? Would He make women cover every inch of their bodies and be deprived of fresh air, oxygen and the health benefits of the suns rays on their skin resulting in not only the woman's illness but her offspring as well? If this were what God intended for all women then how would women be able to wear this in the jungle or in the savanna where so many women live and work without even a hope of air-conditioning? They would die of heat stroke or dehydration in no time!

Now I believe in freedom of speech and dress but what bothers me about extremes like this is how it goes against the teachings of Islam. Extremism in any form or way always has a negative influence on humans. Going to extremes in any aspect of life is never good. And if this is not overly extreme, then what is?

Also disturbing is the fact that many truly believe this is what all Muslim women should look like and anything else is basically, going to hell. They think it's best women remain unrecognizable and hidden, without a trace of what is normally apparent from humans. Many women do choose this type of dress but others might be forced to cover so drastically by their families. Unfortunately some of those women who choose from their own free will, (including some western converts) tend to be very judgmental and even hostile toward those Muslim women who don't cover as much as they do. As if the more layers you hide yourself underneath, the better Muslim you become. The more invisible, silent and submissive a woman is in all aspects, the better.

I just don't believe God intended half the world's population to be invisible shadows. That just doesn't make any sense.

"Children of Adam, take your adornment / pleasantness to every Mosque." (Qur'an 7:31)

This verse addresses both women and men describing them as having a pleasant appearance and adornment. 

"(People), do you not see how God has made what is in the heavens and the earth useful to you, and has lavished His blessings on you both outwardly and inwardly?" (Qur'an 31:20)

This verse tells us how God made both women and men attractive inside and out. Why does only the other gender have to cover it all? Men can be outwardly beautiful and alluring to women as well as vice versa. Why would there be so many so called heart-throbs and top 100 lists of handsome men out there if women didn't find them attractive? If women were really ordered to cover every single inch of visible skin because they are attractive to men then by the same mentality, why shouldn't men cover from women's "lustful" eyes? Both should be modest equally, there is no differentiation here.

The verses in the Quran that speak about women and modesty have always been highly debated. There are many different translations and interpretations of verse 24:31 in the Quran which speaks specifically of men then women and modesty, here are few examples of the part for the women:

"Tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts, and that they shall not flaunt their beauty except for what appears (naturally) from it, and let them put forth their covers over their cleavage" 

"And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment "

"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands, or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.) and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment"

So basically the one and only body part which is specifically mentioned by name that women are guided to cover here are the chest/bosom/breasts. Private parts should be guarded which I guess would come naturally. All the other versions of this are mere interpretations of the different meanings of words such as khimaar and Juyubihinna which is why there are so many varying views on what is the proper dress code for women. Everything in those brackets has been added by humans (misogynist men).

Personally I think the verse being ambigous and vague has much wisdom to it. This way it gives a certain degree of variability and freedom of choice because women live in such different climates and under many circumstances which all require different types of dress. The point is to maintain modesty and make sure your breasts are not popping out, that's it. 

Women were not created to be mere shadows of humans. 

Human or Hayawaan?

I came across this disgusting video of young Saudi guys harassing fully covered women on the street. They are shamelessly groping the girls private parts.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b7000259ab

Shame on them. It's sickening and upsetting to watch.
There are so many questions that come to mind from such behavior. Is this behavior of civil human beings or wild animals (hayawaan)?

Harassment happens everywhere in the world but when it happens in Saudi-Arabia, when it gets physical and when the targets are veiled Saudi women, it just makes it somehow more shocking because of the culture that surrounds it.
How can a country that is based on Islamic teachings breed this sort of animalistic behavior?
Where are the good manners and respect of women that are taught in the Quran and the prophetic teachings over and over again in the very schools these young men attended?
What kind of examples are their fathers giving them?
How could these men dare to physically attack fully veiled women?
Is the strict gender segregation turning young men into sex crazy animals like these Kenyan monkeys, also in the news recently for sexually harassing women.
Saudi-Arabia is the only country in the world that practises separating the two genders. And is this the result?
What if the girls in the video were his sisters? I bet these same guys would KILL any man harassing their sisters like this.
Where are the religous police when they are needed most? Hai'a would probably arrest and blame the girls for walking out alone..You had it coming at you! You were being promiscious and looking for trouble! The poor men could not control themselves. As if the men were the victims of these seductresses.
What is the veil for? Is it not supposed to protect women from harassment and rape? To command her respect?
So what went wrong with the upbringing of these men if they show such disrespect toward veiled women?
What can be done to stop such behavior? I suggest filming all incidents and posting them online like this one! That should bring needed public shame on the men and their families.

The men in the video and the monkeys in Kenya definitely have something in common.

The Eternal Veil

Imagine a man that has never seen the face of his wife, ever. How about a son or a daughter that does not know how their mother looks like?

Such men and women still exist in Saudi-Arabia.

Recently in the news was the story of a Saudi man that had never seen his wife's face. After 10 years of marriage the man had become too curious to control his desire to look at the woman he married. He had made the mistake of trying to sneak a peak under the veil at night. The wife had however woken up and now wanted a divorce. She had "lost face" so to say.

The women that practise this custom of never revealing their faces come from a very small majority from certain tribes of the Najdi region.

What's most peculiar is that some of these women refuse to remove their veils even in the company of female relatives including their own daughters, sisters and mothers!
How does this effect the child?

This reminded me of how I found out about this custom through a patient of mine.
She was being treated for cancer and was on the ward with her two daughters who acted as her sitters (caretakers). The daughters were perhaps 7 and 15 years old, hard to say because of the veil.

I remember going about my normal routines measuring her blood pressure and asking her some questions and making a note to myself that I had not yet seen their faces. I wondered why the patient and daughters all sat in the room eating in their colorful dresses without abayas but they hadn't removed their niqabs (face veils).

I then requested for the patient to remove her veil for me to check her and made a gesture with my hand indicating she lift her niqab. She went ballistic!
She shouted "haram" at me and I could see I had upset her but I still didn't realize what I had done.
On the side note, some Saudi patients might be a "bit" demanding or like some nurses say "crazy" so I just thought of her behavior as the norm, smiled and left her.

Later on a female physician told me that these bedouins (she referred to them as nutters) never removed their veils, not even in presence of women. She said it has nothing to do with Islam, it's just their tribes that have these weird traditions of hiding the women's faces. The permanent veil imposed a huge problem as to how to treat this woman and it was driving the doctor crazy.

The patient had demanded an all female medical team and none of the male doctors were ever allowed to enter the room. The major issue was that she needed surgery and it didn't look like it would be possible to accomplish with her remaining veiled the whole time.
The veil would of course be in the way of surgical procedures and it would be an infection risk but the patient insisted she keep it on.

The next time I saw the patient I asked her why she always kept the veil on. At that time my arabic was still very basic and I was not able to understand her funny accent either. She kept repeating "lazim" which means "have to". So I never really understood what were the reasons behind it nor was I able to find out at what age they started veling the daughters. Did they actually veil babies?

The woman and her daughters seemed very comfortable with the veil and at night when I entered the room all three had them securely on. I wondered do the veils come off when they are in the bathroom or shower? It was as if it was a part of their bodies.

In the end the patient was discharged with her eternal veil and no procedures were done. She had refused life saving surgery rather than removed the veil.

Cover your hair! Cover your face! Lower your gaze.

I ran into way too many members of Hai'a recently and had to write a post about their unislamic behavior. It seems to me as if it's becoming worse lately. What really upsets me is how ruthlessly they harass women. I've taken a habit now of answering their hateful comments of covering by replying "Lower your gaze". It seems to work because the muttawa get an empty look on their faces and eventually leave. Could it be because they actually feel a tiny bit of guilt somewhere in the deepest corners of their minds? Or perhaps they go into shock because a woman is challenging them? It does seem to create confusion. I guess they don't have a "Lowering Gazes" or "Respecting Women's Privacy" class in Muttawa School.

Check out my previous post on muttawa encounters here.

The Hai'a seem to have picked Hayat Mall as their new favorite place to terrorize people, sorry women that is.
The muttawas in question did not even have the police with them. I saw a few different groups of them grazing the mall. One was a gang of three very young muttawas, the tallest had the Harry Potter cape on. I wonder if their beards were even real, they looked no more than 21 years old to me.

This gang actually had the nerve to start following my friends around the mall, waiting outside stores so they could shout at us again. My friends like most western women here don't cover their hair. So we start hearing over and over "cover you hair". The scarves were wrapped on but the muttawas still didn't leave! They were waiting to get another go at us if the scarves happen to slip off. It's as if they just want to check us out! This really irritates me because I know my friends feel anxious, cornered and even fearful because of their behavior. I wanted to stop it so I ended up having to remind the men to lower their gazes. Why are they staring at us in the first place? Have they forgotten this verse from the Quran:

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do."

Better that we women remind these poor brothers of their duty to lower their gazes since it seems they have totally forgotten it!I think women should stand up to this kind of madness and not let them treat us like cattle or pieces of meat!

On another occasion a pair of old baba muttawas attack us, a group of women doing some shopping and minding our own business. They shout "Cover your hair" while angrily pointing a finger at my friends one at a time singling them out and approaching us. He then turns to me and shouts "cover your face!" I was like what the fatwa? I've never heard that before, I thought they only said that to Saudi women. I pointed my finger back at him and said "why don't you lower your gaze?" He just looked at me dumbfounded with an empty expression on his face. I thought perhaps he did not understand so I repeated myself in a louder voice please LOWER YOUR GAZE. He hesitated for a second, but then they left.

What does Hadith say about lowering gazes?

"I asked Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) about the sudden glance (that is cast) on the face (of a non-Mahram). He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes." Hadith - Sahih Muslim 5372, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah Note it says a glance at the FACE. And the solution here, is it for the woman to cover her face? No- for the man to lower his gaze. Now this could lead to a whole other conversation of the niqab and is it compulsory but my point is the responsibilty here is placed on the man.

So why are the supposedly pious muttawa allowed to so blatantly stare at women and not lower their gazes?
That is just absurd. It's also giving a really negative image of Islam to westerners here and when they return to their home countries this is one of the messages that spreads about the country and the religion. I hate it when my friends start saying bad things about Islam that are not true. It all stems directly from the actions of these men.
I try to explain that what some Muslims do is not necessarily what Islam teaches. I have a feeling my words are nothing in the face of the atrocious actions of the muttawa.

I encourage other women being harassed by muttawa to give them a stern reminder to lower their gazes.

Letter to Saudi women: Please leave my husband alone!

Dear Saudi women out there who have the bad habit of stalking my Saudi husband. Please leave my husband alone. You drive me crazy!!
Not that this letter will be likely to ever reach you.

Could you please stop staring at my husband and following him around when we are out together?

Yes he is married to a westerner, does that make you feel jealous or bitter that he didn't marry one of his "own kind"?

Please just leave him alone, he is a shy guy. He doesn't want the attention.

Staring is actually really impolite, did you know?

In fact leering at someone is viewed as inconsiderate and uncivilized.

Civilized people do not stare at strangers so recklessly.

Civilized people also do not whisper, point at people and giggle in their presence. Especially adults.

Shouldn't you be minding your own business rather than gawking at him like he is an alien?

Or do you perhaps view him as a traitor? Since he is with me, a western woman who stole such great marriage material from a Saudi woman?

Yes, my husband is very handsome, tall and well-built. Are you checking him out? I think sometimes you are.

Please lower your gaze.

Wearing niqab is not an excuse to stare and does not give you the right to neglect the first part of the ayat of lowering gazes.

Aren't you worried your husband if you have one, will notice you staring at another man?

Sometimes I've seen you with your husband, looking at mine.

Do you not feel guilty at all for leering at him so blatantly, and for flirting with an obviously married man?

What about batting your long fake eyelashes at him like you are the Queen of Sheba? Do you seriously think it has any effect on him?

And for your information, I am not a stupid, or blind. I can see very well you eyeing him from behind the anonymity of your niqab.

Sometimes you follow him around the store with your girlfriends like he is a piece of meat and you forgot to eat your iftar.

Or are you really this bored? If so, couldn't you think of a more stimulating and intelligent way to pass your time than shopping and evaluating other womens husbands?

Can you please be a bit more respectful? My husband does not stare back at you, he has done nothing to you and just wants to do some shopping in peace with his wife.

Sorry to disappoint you but he is not looking for a second wife.

Your co-operation is highly appreciated.

Thank you!

P.S Here is a very similar experience written by an Englishman in Riyadh:http://margraves.blogspot.com/2006/11/i-am-not-piece-of-meat.html


P.S. Just to clarify this letter is not meant for ALL Saudi women!

The woman's right to uncover vs the right to cover

I wanted to write about why muslim women cover and then I started thinking about all the women who do the opposite and the reasons behind it. By taking a look from "the other side of the fence" the view might be very different..We shouldn't judge the other side so harshly and think what we are doing in the west is the best thing or the other way around.

Why is it that it's regarded as a right if I chose to uncover certain parts of my body, however now that I choose to rather cover them, it suddenly becomes frowned upon and questioned as if I do not have the right to do so as a western "free" woman..On the other hand, muslim women are viewed as oppressed, the image is that they are forced to cover. Isn't the opposite then also true, to be "forced' to uncover is also oppression?

This is a controversial post on a very controversial subject. I'm going to be very blunt and honest here, saying things many people might not want to hear or admit let alone agree with me.. I just want to express my opinion, not offend anyone! Remember this is just my opinion, and the conclusions which I have come to after alot of reading, studying, critical thinking and self reflection. Afterall, it's my blog, if you don't like it then you can just click yourself away :D
I dedicate this post to ALL the wise, beautiful-minded, thinking women out there! I know you exist everywhere!

Women around the western world have the right to UNcover as they please. Most people won't question or look down upon a woman in very revealing outfits. It is considered a right for a woman to undress herself in public if she so wishes.

Think about it. Uncovering, or revealing clothing for women is more than welcomed, it's almost required to show at least some skin. If its not the cleavage, then it has to be something else like the legs, or a at least show her figure in tight or see-through clothing. Flaunt it is the motto of the day. Women in sexy outfits sell us food, deodorant, icecream etc in commercials on tv, in magazines, everywhere!

But why is this? Why do women agree to this? Does it make us feel more beautiful, accepted and secure? Then why is there an increasing amount of depression and other mental illnesses, eating disorders and insecurity among women, especially young women? As women grow older, plastic surgery, botox and the likes become a part of many of their lives. The world is getting more and more obsessed with how women look. Nevermind what they think or feel! In order for a woman to be accepted and valued in the western society seems to be through her appearance. In a way women are forced to uncover and look immaculate, and are thus oppressed. Anything that is forced on anyone is oppression in my opinion.

I see this is as just another form of men controlling women to suit their own pleasure. Undressing women is, lets face it, very appealling for most men. Women are brainwashed to think like this so men can have their pleasure of watching bare skin and feminine shapes, and women are fooled to think they are equal with men because of it! Women think all this displaying of bare flesh in public, media and practically in every media outlet is advancement! How is it going forward?

Women compete with eachother mostly with their looks, not their brains like men do. A beautiful woman is almost always seen as a threat to other women. Beautiful women dont have an easy life, good female friends are hard to find because nearly all women will be more or less envious of her looks. Being beautiful means getting male attention everywhere, this is a self-evident truth. Women tend to get extremely jealous of these women who get all the attention from men. All this because women think her worth comes from her looks rather than the inside. But is this how women percieve themselves, through the men? The more beautiful you are=the more valuable in mens eyes. Respect yourselves women! Respect your bodies whatever the shape and size!

All this jealousy and envy among women leads to even more "competition" who is the prettiest, skinniest, has the biggest breasts, longest hair, best legs or whatever else it is. This is just a waste of time and leads to women being evaluated by their looks, not whats inside their hearts and minds.

Then we have feminists who cry out for gender equality by calling for women to burn their bras and walk to the streets wearing miniskirts. Example from Finland: show up in parliament wearing miniskirt the width of a belt to make a fool out of yourself STATEMENT. Now HOW does this improve womens rights and equality? I think that is just absurd, can someone please explain? A Finnish politician Rosa Merilainen did just that. But what did Rosa achieve by this honorable act against for women's rights? The men in her party started having discussions "in the hallway" out of her sight. She lost all her credibility, and wasnt re-elected.
All this kind of nonsense just makes men laugh into their beards behind our back and in the process they get a nice view. But progress for womens issues? No way.

So lets take a look at covering then, in the western societies it seems to be mostly looked down upon and extensively questioned. Why do you dress like that? What's that rag on your head? Why do you want to look like a nun? Why do you want to spoil all the fun at a party?
The more the woman covers her body, the less she is accepted into society. Her value diminishes as the skin disappears. The most disrespected is the woman who chooses to cover even her face. How dare she?
When you see a woman covered from head to toe, what will you think, honestly? Poor woman, oppressed, miserable, abused, uneducated, backward, no self-esteem? Think again. How about self-respecting, content, independent, brave, satisfied, educated, free-willed? It could be either one or a mixture of both.

Why do women generally not have the right to cover in western world? They have already taken the right for muslim girls to cover their hair in schools in France, and now there has been discussion in many european countries about banning the veil altogether. Ok I understand that for verification of identity it essential. But otherwise, why not let these women cover their faces if they so wish? Its their own choice. The politicians supporting the ban say niqab devalues womens rights. How, since it is their own decision? Banning veiling actually takes AWAY from womens rights. Her right to cover.

First impressions tell us alot about the person we are dealing with. The way we dress plays a major role in how we are percieved by others. I guess everyone will have their own perceptions of what they define as either immodest or modest ways of dressing. That is why defining covering/uncovering is so difficult, its an individual opinion.

My message is this: western women live in a world mostly controlled by men. Why give them the right to control also our bodies and undress us?Why not keep our bodies to ourselves and say, its none of your business whats underneath!!

We CANNOT change the world on an individual level. Even how difficult this is to accept, women will mostly be viewed as some sort of sexual objects. Especially if we dress in miniskirts, revealing tops, microshorts and the likes. I've spent years rebelling, fighting and creating myself anxiety over this. When I realized that by accepting how things are, and trying to change only myself, not the world and the men, things got alot easier.

What we CAN do is change ourselves. Change how we present ourselves and send a message with the way we dress. The message is : I value my body and have the right to cover it as I wish! Respect me for it, dont judge me for it!
I'm not trying to say women shouldn't have the right to uncover. Everyone should do what feels best for them. I just hope this would provoke some thoughts, especially in women.

Neither does this mean I think all women should go around dressed in abayas, "black tents" or cover up everything, I'm all for individuality, moderation and style. But dressing modestly can be done by modern western style clothing also.
That way a woman shifts the focus from her body to herself as a thinking, feeling person. This is the wisdom behind the Islamic dress code for women. By no means is it oppressing, I would rather say LIBERATING from the pressures women face about their bodies being under constant scrutiny.
Take care and cherish your body, because it is beautiful no matter its size and shape. You dont need to display it to the whole world to get acceptance..Not every woman looks like Claudia Shiffer, so Islamic dress code makes women more equal and decreases envy and jealousy.

Try to think out of your comfort zone, try to ask yourself who are you really doing uncovering for?

Saudizised grocery shopping

There are many differences and peculiarities to grocery shopping especially here in Riyadh, home to over 5 million people. The most popular large grocery stores are HyperPanda, Tamimi, Carrefour, Danube and Euromarche.
There are a few things to remember when heading out:

-Dont forget the prayer times! Everything in saudi closes for prayer, for around 15-30 minutes, depending on the store and how eager the employees are to return to their posts.

Some larger stores like the ones mentioned above, let you stay in the store shopping while the employees go to pray, or if they´re non-muslims they have a break. When they come back you can cash out.

-Avoid "zahma" which is traffic in the stores. Worst on weekends, especially after Maghrib prayer to around 11pm, the stores get way too overcowded, and your shopping "experience" might last many hours.The largest stores are open until 12-2 am, and its much nicer to go shopping around then, or early morning weekdays to avoid nervous breakdowns:) Some are open even 24hrs a day, like Hyperpanda Takhasusi. Best visited at night are Danube on Takhasusi(very quiet) and Panda inside Granada mall.

Shopping BLISS at Danube

-If you're a lady, be careful with your abaya when going on escalators, it might get stuck! Another annoying occurence is it sometimes might get jammed under your shopping cart, or fellow shoppers carts..

-Try to avoid bumping into or getting too close to saudis of the opposite sex to you. They might feel awkward because they are not used to it. You will notice the saudi men usually give way to the women in the aisles, they do this out of respect and they want to be polite to you. Not because they are scared/disgusted/arrogant (most common misperceptions). So be polite and and mindful, especially if you are a man, the saudi ladies are sometimes very demanding, they are used to being treated like queens :)

Just this weekend my husband and I were shopping, and a young saudi lady comes behind him in the aisle. There is room for her to pass my husband and his cart, but she doesn't move just stands there with her cart. I see my husband getting confused and he moves on out of the aisle so the lady can pass (without getting too close to my husband) lol! It was funny, I was watching them from a distance, getting a bit jealous and wondering what is it this lady wants from my husband!

- Dont look around for female staff-there isn't any! All the staff will be male. But the staff is everywhere, there seems to be a man responsible for every 10 sqm of the store. There will always be men sweeping the floors, filling the shelves and whatever else. Surprisingly they might now know the answer to your question because their area of responsibility is so narrow. The man that takes care of the yogurt shelf doesn't know about the milks :) The frustrating aspect of this is that they hardly ever say "I dont know", they will just point you to a random direction (often wrong).

-Be aware that saudis do not acknowledge the concept of queing, or standing in line. What line? Is there a que here?Especially when you're going to have your fruits weighed, there seems to be no order in which the man attends to customers. Usually the saudi women will go first, then whoever is the loudest or has best skills in line-cutting. In this situation you can use your female gender to your advantage, try to go behind or next to the loud saudi lady and have your bag ready immidiately when she is done, place your bag ON the scale!This will not guarantee success though :D

- If you're a young woman, watch out for gangs or teenage boys..Yes, as ridiculous as it sounds, they come there to hit on girls!Shopping malls are off limits to them (alhamdulillah!) because of this exact behaviour. They might follow the girl they are interested in the store, trying to exchange numbers.

Once happened to me in Tamimi: I stayed with the cart next to the ice cream shelf trying to figure out which flavor to pick, while my husband went to get a few things. I was texting on my Blackberry when two guys suddenly come up to me and start speaking in arabic. They might have thought I'm saudi, because I was wearing niqab, in any case they continued even after I told them in english excuse me what do you want? So the guy starts repeating his phone number over and over. At this point I messaged my husband to come back quick. Then all of a sudden the guy takes my cart and starts taking it to the cashier, while I'm holding on to it trying to pull the other way and now raising my voice what the h*# do you think you're doing? He continues on and I start calling my husband, the minute he answers and I start talking to him the guys start running out of the store in panic!My husband runs to the scene, but the guys are long gone. He is very upset and so am I. Apparently Tamimi is one of the best worst places for this..

-At the cashier always have cash! So many frustrating times I have encountered problems with any kind of cards. They will run around the store with your card trying to get it work, but you still might end up having to go to the ATM.

-Please try to save the nature and encourage the packers to use less plastic bags! In Finland we are used to buying the plastic bags we need for the groceries, and we pack ourselves. Here there will be one or sometimes even two men packing your groceries. They are taught ( I assume) to put in separate bags different items. If you buy for example bread, milk, deodorant, cookies, chicken and eggs, everything requires its own bag! This total waste of plastic is just mind boggling, especially to a Finn who is used to recycling practically everything.

So what I do is I go to the man and politely advise him to not use too many bags. The problem is the workers are often Indian or Bangladeshi and dont speak english. They would understand inshallah if you say "minfadlak, mafi kees katiir shukran" Sometimes it happens even then they won't listen understand, that's when I start packing the stuff myself :D This raises quite a few eyebrows. My husband is sometimes embarrassed of all the attention it gets, (he is shy and literally the whole store will be staring at us) so he will nowadays go straight to the guy and explain before I need to jump in! We will give the packers a little money when they do a good job, hoping they would continue the practise..

Saudi women "queing"

Women driving in saudi soon? Inshallah!

Driving instructor

Saudi-Arabia is the only country in the world that bans women from driving. There is in fact nothing in the saudi law that literally prohibits women from driving, nor does it come from Islam. Recently on Saudiwomans weblog, she translated an article about how to start implementing women driving in KSA from Alriyadh newspaper.

http://saudiwoman.wordpress.com/2010/04/18/women-driving-cars%e2%80%a6how-do-we-start-its-implementation/

In the article various men have been interviewed regarding why are women prohibited to drive, and what would be in their opinion the best way to start allowing females to drive. They asked a Legal Counsel, Bandar bin Ibrahim Al Muhrij who had this to say: article thirty-two of the traffic laws states that “any person is prohibited from driving a vehicle before obtaining a driver’s license as is required in accordance with the provisions of this law”, and based on this text, the word “person” contained therein is not limited to the male without the female, indicating that the fact that driving licenses are issued exclusively to males is not supported by any document from the traffic system and its laws.

So banning women from driving is purely acultural issue. Actually, women were allowed to drive in Saudi some decades ago before the scholars suddenly realized its another way to control women haram and banned it. So it hasn't always been forbidden.Why are the scholars so insecure, do they think the women would run away if they could drive?

Commonly used excuses (mostly by saudi men but EVEN some women!) for justifying the ban on women driving:

-Women have other things to do like cooking, cleaning and taking care of kids.

Well I wonder how ALL the women in the rest of the world who are allowed to drive have time to do both !?

Actually if women could drive here they would have MORE time to spend with kids and at home. Now their time is consumed by waiting for their drivers or fighting with taxi drivers or getting lost with foreign drivers who barely speak a word of Arabic or English.

- Allowing women to drive will increase traffic jams because all women of the family would want their own cars and would want to drive.

Now this is just plain stupid. Just think about it. At the moment there are hundreds of thousands women who have to be taken to school, university or work every morning. To hobbies, shopping, friends houses etc in the evenings.. The driver takes them, drives back home, goes to get them again and returns home. Now isnt that always 4 trips, versus the 2 that woman by herself would take? Would the woman perhaps drive two cars at a time? Where is the logic? That's LESS traffic and cars. The woman could also take her sister, mother or whoever in the same trip. Also from what I've heard from Saudi women, not everyone would want to start start driving in the very beginning or possibly ever, or would want their own car. They are just too afraid, and no wonder because the traffic here is horrible!But lifting the ban would ease the traffic jams despite that. That takes us to the next excuse:

-The traffic in Saudi is so bad and dangerous women couldn't handle it

But why is the traffic so bad? Because its all men! Men are to blame for majority of accidents in all studies conducted around the world, plus have most speeding tickets and violations. If women were allowed to drive the traffic would be better for sure, women abide to laws more and are more cautious. This is a well known fact and supported by statistics from around the world. Many of the employed drivers in KSA are foreigners who don't care about abiding to Saudi laws. Also it's not rare to see 10-15 year old boys driving around with their fathers or brothers. So even they are seen as more competent than adult women.

If she was a boy, she'd be driving daddys jeep!

-its not safe for women to drive because men will start harassing them and chasing them with their cars

                                                                                                

Well is this the womens fault?!Why cant the police handle the harassers? Thats a new job for the muttawa then, protect women dont harass them!They could even make a squad that specifically targets crazy young male drivers. Muttawas like to point the finger at the woman, she is at fault, she is being a temptress behind the wheel! The poor saudi men are at their mercy! Men simply cannot handle themselves, therefore, ban the women from driving is the solution.

-females cant drive because they must wear face cover, which prohibits them from seeing well enough to drive, hence subjecting them to dangerous situations

First of all women can see perfectly well with the facecover (niqab). There are niqab wearing driving instructors even in U.S. And if these scholars really think women cant see well enough with niqab and it subjects them to danger, then why are women supposed to wear it in the first place? How can they see well enough to cross the street, or which GMC or jeep they should hop in thinking its their husband or driver (a mistake would lead to haram mixing!!). How do women even go about their daily lives shopping, studying and working with it? How is a female surgeon supposed to see what she's doing, if the niqab blocks her view? Isn't that a more serious issue then? This is a very lame excuse.

Inshallah the ban on women driving will be lifted soon, it really effects negatively the whole Saudi society. Men suffer from it too, brothers, husbands and fathers have to constantly drive their female relatives around or worry about them being driven around by strange men. Women have to be in a small space with a strange man which is viewed as haram in all other situations in KSA. Only that should be enough to stop the ban. The drivers are usually from India, Pakistan or Bangladesh, they speak poor english/arabic, can have violent driving style, might even harass the woman, make all kind suggestions, they might be chain smokers, wear way too much cologne, most often don't know where you want to go, and are usually late themselves yet get upset if the woman is 2min late..This is everyday reality for women in KSA.

The article however gives hope, because it has now moved the discussion from WHY cant women drive to HOW can we stop this madness..many good suggestions and I remain hopeful.

My suggestion is, lift the ban in phases. First let the women with international driving licenses drive, saudi or non saudi. They will be the most confident and can handle the road hooligans. Increase traffic control policemen in busy street areas (employ muttawas to chase after the men who disturb the women).

When the worst is over, allow married women to drive. Phase three everyone else who wishes to.

That way when the young saudi girls take to the streets the worst hooligans are already used to seeing women driving.

What do you think, how should it be implemented?