Exotic Paradox: Expats Blog In Saudi Arabia

The following is an excerpt from an article published in Newsline November 2012 issue. Journalist Naima Rashid writes about the three most popular expat blogs written by foreign wives to Saudis; American Bedu, Susie of Arabia and Blue Abaya. She talks about what all these blogs have in common, and how they offer a unique perspective and window into the Saudi culture.The entire article can be read on Newsline and for Blue Abaya readers here's a extract of the article and the Blue Abaya part itself.

Exotic paradox: Expats Blog in Saudi Arabia

"For several reasons, the Saudi culture is impenetrable to the outsider. An almost sacred guardianship of private space makes access to it pretty near impossible. A large part of life in Saudi Arabia takes place indoors or in metaphorical ‘chambers’ accessible only to insiders. "

"A curious axis around which are clustered three of the most interesting blogs is matrimony. Foreign wives married to Saudis have long held the banner high for cultural chronicling in the form of blogs. Their initiative created a niche in a territory that was virgin when they started, but which has since thrived. The best known among them come from cultures diametrically opposed to the Saudi culture,  namely American and Finnish. "

"These blogs go by names seeped in a charge of orientalism that comes from juxtaposing evocations of opposite cultures and to some extent, a sense of free-spiritedness and rebellion (‘American Bedu’, ‘Susie’s Big Adventure: An American woman moves to Saudi Arabia’, ‘Blue Abbaya: A Scandinavian Princess in the Magic Kingdom’). "

"...the authors, coming from Western cultures and a background in Western education, bring a natural ease of expression, documentary zest, outspokenness and an analytical bent of mind to bear upon the superset of their experiences in Saudi Arabia. Being married to Saudis, they have a direct canal to the culture they are tackling through the deep end – direct immersion. Where their clarity of observation, their willing embrace of a foreign culture, and the amusing contrasts between an Eastern and a Western culture meet, a thing of great value and beauty is created."

 "The third blog in the trio is called Blue Abbaya. Much younger than the other two, Laylah, in her early thirties,  is a Finnish nurse married to a Saudi, living in Riyadh and blogging since 2009. Susie and Carol have openly divulged their identity, but Laylah blogs with more discretion, and while her blog is all about Saudi culture through the prism of her personal experiences, she doesn’t always divulge her personal coordinates as openly."

"Her blog has a more distinct character than the other two, and her writing, detailed and diary-like. She has a very strong personality that comes across quite forcefully in her writings – witty, unforgiving in her sarcasm, sharp in her observations but aggressively positive in her conclusions. Between her spirit of forward motion, and her signature bite is the spice that marks her writing."

"Reading her blog, one traverses two regions equally mysterious to many – Finland and Saudi Arabia, and her blog pierces the mystery of both lands to offer us a window into both cultures through the eyes of somebody who embodies them both to some extent.

After surviving the tragic-comical challenge of a wedding à la Saoudienne, it’s been a mildly bumpy ride, to say the least, but her Finnish hardiness has helped her keep her feet firmly on the ground. Some unavoidable, amusing and enlightening comparisons between the Finnish and the Saudi way of life, whether they emerged unconsciously as survival tactics, or as a conscious reflection about the cultural polarity she embodies, make for some delightful traipsing for the culture vulture. 

Scandinavian ice and deserts of Arabia are physical reliefs, but like all environment, they become landscapes of the mind at some point. In ‘Blue Abbaya’, blue is the colour of the Finnish sky, and the abbaya is a cultural norm of Saudi Arabia. In its name and its nature, the blog is defined by the richly opposed but co-existing worlds that the author is part of, and the best and worst of which peppers her real and virtual space."

"In one post that went on to become a hot favourite, Laylah is choosing her make-up style for a wedding. Before she concludes upon an understated European look, she runs her readers through some popular make-up styles, naming each one with her characteristic sly wit. The list includes the poison-ivy look, the Herpes look, the raccoon look, the peacock look, the angry owl look, the Boy George look, the spider look and last but not the least, the measles look!

As a general rule, nurses are great people to gossip with in Saudi Arabia. The nature of their work and the sheer range of exposure across all social classes that they have access to in the course of a working day make them great story-tellers. Perhaps, the best stories they have to narrate are those relating to royalty and its pomp and decorum  as they have witnessed in the corridors of the VIP wings in hospitals.

 Some of Laylah’s most delicious anecdotes are about royalty and set in the King Faisal Hospital, Riyadh, where she works. ‘The Princess and the Pimple’ is a tale about a spoilt princess who wakes up one morning with a pimple on her face and throws a tantrum, as a result, her pimple is treated with more protocol than other human lives. 

‘The Royal Morgue’ is an unforgettable Chekhovian sketch of what happens when a member of the royal family is deceased in a hospital, the image of princesses in expensive abbayas and smelling of high-priced attars accumulating like ravens around the body of the deceased and the nurses hiding in the corridors and making themselves scarce for fear of offending anyone from the royal family.

Unsurprisingly then, the most colourful  yarns in Saudi Arabia, the most informative as well as the most entertaining, and the ones that rip open its cultural core, lie beyond the bland prose of newspapers, beyond the country’s few bookshops and television channels, along yet another diagonal axis."
-
        -  Naima Rashid


Published in Newsline, November issue.

Saudi Dude's Guide To Finnish Coffee Drinking Ceremony

So you're a lucky Saudi dude and you find yourself visiting Finland for the first time. You think Finland is full of polar bears, Angry Birds and drunks. That is only partly true. There's also lots of reindeer.

A Finnish family has invited you to their house for some coffee and you get the chance to see there's a lot more to Finland than you thought and most importantly participate in the sacred coffee drinking ceremony.

You might have heard rumors how serious the Finns are when it comes to coffee. This tiny Nordic country tops the world's coffee consumption charts. They call themselves the Coffee King's but with pretty good credentials. Finns consume about 12kg or 608 litres of coffee per capita annually. That's about 1,6 litres per day!

This might raise your suspicions. Why do they need so much coffee? Is there some chemical missing in their brains which needs to be substituted by caffeine? Do they ever sleep? Are their guts made out of steel?

No need to worry, they are actually quite normal. Finns just simply love their coffee and once you've tasted it you'll understand why. Keep in mind when the Finns talk about cups of coffee they mean mugs, as in about 2-3 dl, not those tiny baby cups you're used to drinking from back home!

By following this simple guide you will not only survive the Finnish coffee drinking ceremony but avoid getting arrested and impress your hosts too!

It is a good idea to bring a small souvenir from Saudi-Arabia with you. The Finnish family will value it highly and show off the gift to everyone in their family and neighborhood for the next 27 years or so. The item will be placed on the top of the bookshelf  "this is what a real Saudi-Arab brought us!

On arrival you will greet the entire family (this means women too) the Finnish way which means by shaking hands. Resist your urge to kiss everyone repeatedly on the cheeks. Especially the womenfolk to avoid any stabbings. Finnish men don't like Arab dudes near their women at all. However not shaking the women's hands would be seen as a serious insult. 

You need to practice your handshaking skills because Finns are experts at telling what kind of person you are from that brief moment. This will be the only time you will come into this close contact with your hosts. The perfected handshake will also cast away the last suspicions your hosts have of you as an Arab dude. A firm but short handshake is best. Look the other person in the eye briefly but don't stare. Don't shake for too long, or do anything with the other hand like hugging, this might be taken the wrong way. Practice letting the hand droop next to your body. Make sure you don't give them the "dead fish" hand either.

Say "terve" while shaking hands. That is sufficient enough.

When you enter the house remember to remove your shoes at the door, walking in with them will be seen as uncivilized. Wear white tennis socks with your sandals and be sure to pull them high up your leg, this is seen as stylish.  In the house you will be shown a place to sit around the coffee table. Please don't sit on the carpets or floors.

At the table you will be asked if you want coffee. Of course you do! You CANNOT refuse. Coffee will be served from cups that look like this:

The make is ARABIA. As much as you would like them to be, the cups were not especially made for your visit. All Finns own coffee cups made by a company called Arabia Finland since 1873 to serve their guests coffee in. They just vary in color and design. Finns are a bit boring but hang on to their traditions.

The cup will come with a spoon and plate, which have significant importance in the ceremony you will learn later on. On the table you will see sugar cubes and two jugs, one will have milk and one cream in it. There will be a variety of cookies and maybe some candy on offer too. If you're extremely lucky you might have a chance to taste the "salmiakki" candy, well at least Finns like to call it candy. It's basically salty licorice, which has more ammonium in it than dynamite. If you can manage to eat one without exploding or puking you will become a hero in the hosts eyes.
If you don't want to take the risk of permanently damaging your taste buds ask before putting anything black in your mouth.

Be warned that your hosts might be sneaky and serve you salmiakki hidden inside other sweets! Finnish people love to do practical jokes.

Your host will now pour the coffee in your cup and ask if you need space for the milk? The way you take your coffee will send a message about you to your hosts. For Finns having it straight up black is what real men do. Putting lots of cream and at least six cubes of sugar in the cup will have them thinking the opposite. You want to impress, so say no need for milk space. The host will pour it full. Note the Finnish coffee is very dark in color. Don't worry they are not serving you oil. They know you bathe in it, but don't prefer to drink it.

If your host is female she will most likely smile at you. Do not hand her your mobile number written on the napkin. Se is not flirting with you, just being polite. It is normal in Finland for women to smile at men without any hidden agendas.

During all this time not many words have been said. This is nothing out of the ordinary, the hosts are not scared of you. It's just not common for Finns to engage in small talk. They most likely will ask you about what you think of Finland and how you like the weather. To amuse the hosts you can say you're freezing (which you probably are anyways) and comment on how beautiful the nature is. 

You might be asked how many camels you own. Even if you don't personally own any, you could say you have a few and they will believe you because it's assumed all Arabs own at least one camel. The hosts might ask how many camels their daughter is worth. Note that this is a joke and they are not offering their daughter for marriage. Be polite and say at least one hundred camels.

Don't start babbling too much. It will make the Finns uncomfortable, because they are not drunk yet (in most cases) and are not up to talking lots of English.

With the coffee you will be served "pulla". It comes in various forms but most likely looks like something this:

This is sweet coffee bread which Finns always have with their coffee. You must take one! They are sort of like the Cinnabons you eat in Saudi, but about hundred times better. Consider yourself a lucky man to be able to experience this culinary masterpiece.

Now for the actual coffee drinking ceremony. The following is the hardcore traditional way of drinking the coffee. Your hosts will be ecstatic to see you do this.

Begin with taking the cup off the plate and pouring some coffee on it until the bottom is covered. Now take the pulla and break it into small pieces, then place them inside the cup to soak up the rest of the coffee. Then take a sugar cube and place it between your lips. Sip the coffee slowly from the plate while firmly holding the cube between your lips, making sure to make a nice guzzling sound. The louder the better.

Then take the spoon and stir the pieces of pulla around, making sure to make a clinking sound. If you still have the cube stuck between your lips take another dose of the coffee from the plate. Try to avoid drooling.When the cube has dissolved eat the pulla from the cup with the spoon. Do all this in complete silence, taking your time while glancing out of the window every once in a while.

Your hosts will be beaming with pleasure of your cultural knowledge. They will be dying to know how the coffee and pulla tastes. Say everything is excellent and ask for more.

It would be advisable to drink at least three cups, but four would be impressive. When the host is pouring more, offer your cup to him on the plate. Take another pulla. Don't linger too long, Finns don't like guests staying for many hours.

When the time comes to leave your host will let you know by standing up and clearing his throat, maybe mentioning the ice hockey game is about to start on TV. This is your cue to leave, not join him on the couch. Thank them for the excellent coffee. Your hosts will be concerned if you enjoyed your time or not. Ensure them it was fantastic and make your way to the door. If the Finnish man pats your back as you leave, this is a sign of success!

You have passed the Finnish coffee drinking ceremony with flying colors!

Read also: The Finnish Dude's Ultimate Guide To Coffee Drinking In Saudi-Arabia

Crossing The Line

I've said it before I will say it again. Most Saudis don't know what a queue, also known as a line is.
Other foreign concepts include (but are not limited to):
Standing in a line.
Queuing.
Waiting for your turn.
First come, first served.

Just in case someone might not know what the last phrase means here is what Wikipedia tells us:  "first-come, first-served and first-come, first choice – is a service policy whereby the requests of customers or clients are attended to in the order that they arrived, without other biases or preferences. The policy can be employed when processing sales orders, in determining restaurant seating, on a taxi stand, etc. In Western society, it is the standard policy for the processing of most queues in which people wait for a service or two.

Why doesn't this concept apply to Saudi-Arabia? Why am I constantly being cut in line by a "VIP" who thinks their existence is more important than others? Why are people in such a hurry to be served first? Why are people so indifferent to others in their presence? What causes this rude behavior? Why is it acceptable to act this way?

Just an example from yesterday.
I was shopping at the IKEA food market and had picked a few must-have items (such as Finnish black licorice, rye crackers, gingerbread and frozen crawfish) and had proceeded to the cashier with my basket. There was one woman standing there so I automatically went to stand behind her, to form a line.

So next thing you know another woman comes from the side and shoves her chocolate bars on the counter and the cashier automatically serves her. I was annoyed but thought this is normal here so I didn't bother to say anything. Then another woman comes from the other side of the counter and starts waving her money and candy at the cashier. He sees me, but takes her first.

My annoyance is growing. Next I push my basket in front of the cashier and say, excuse me, I'm next. No use. He takes the chocolate bars from the insisting man next to me. A boy comes from the behind him and pushes a licorice bar almost directly in the cashiers hand. All the while I'm standing there with my basket and telling him I've been waiting for 10 minutes here. He completely ignores me and proceeds to serve the Saudis as if he didn't understand anything I just said.

I have the baby in a stroller behind me and she is getting really fussy and my husband is still busy with something else. By now six people have jumped the queue so now I was determined to get served next. Then what completely topped off my irritation was when a girl and her mother came next to me demanding to be served immediately, of course. The girl was waving a chocolate bar. I told her mother excuse me there's a line here, I was first. She ignored me. Then the girl tried again and I pushed my basket in front of her so that she couldn't even reach the cashier. And guess what the mother does?

She whispers something in the daughter's (age around 7 yrs old) ear and next thing you know the kid shows up next to the cashier with her chocolate bar. I glanced at him with a look that could kill but regardless he took the chocolate bar and the girl and mother started giggling in a juvenile manner. That is parenting at its best for you. What an exemplary woman. I'm sure the girl will grow up to be just as rude, selfish and immature as her.

The cashier then finally took my basket, dumped all the stuff out on the counter and started throwing (no joke) THROWING it around. I asked him what are you doing the cookies are fragile they might break! He looked at me with a blank stare. Then I asked him why didn't you take my things before, I was waiting a long time. He said, because you have so many things.

REALLY? You have got to be freakin kidding me. So the more things I have purchased the longer I have to wait in line for? Everybody with less items is allowed to cut me in line? What if I purchase two items at a time and then make a new purchase every time? If a hundred people come with one item, I will have to wait with my 15 items until you finish them? He obviously had never heard of customer service or first comes first served principle. Just because I chose to buy more doesn't mean I loose my right to be served when it's my turn. Sheesh. Who will teach these people manners?? Who will instill customer service into their brains?

What would you have done in this situation? Had a nervous breakdown, called the manager, grabbed the chocolate bars from the other customers hands and thrown them around or just walked away and not bought anything?

For more pics from the Saudi IKEA experience go here: http://imagesofsaudi.blogspot.com/2012/02/saudi-ikea-experience.html
Saudi VIP's: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/08/excuse-me-excuse-me-excuse-me.html

I See Pink, People

Pink houses, pink villas.
Pink trousers on fellas.

Pink in the bathroom pink in the garage.
Pink at the mosque, is this a mirage?

Pink at the gas station!
Is this a pink nation?
Men with pink shoes, shirts and jeans, 
can you tell me what all this means?


Is there pink in masses,
or is it just my rose colored glasses?

Pinkness seems to be everywhere in the Magic Kingdom. Surprisingly enough it doesn't look like Saudi men have any problems living in pink houses, wearing pink clothing, going to pink mosques, pumping gas at pink gas stations or even driving in pink cars. Coming from a culture like mine where men are too "macho" to even glance at pink stuff, this strikes me as odd to say the least.

Call me weird, but I find this fascinating. The more I have started to think about it, the more I've begun seeing pink stuff! Everywhere. Maybe I'm just a nutter and this whole pink fixation is in my head. Or then it's those rose colored glasses on my head?

I don't mean to say ALL Saudi men dress in pink clothes but it's not totally uncommon to spot pink items on men. Unlike in the west, it seems to be socially perfectly acceptable here.

Also, pink houses and buildings are common. I started paying more attention to it on our road trip to southern Saudi. Special mentions go to Abha, Kahmis Mushayt and Gizan for men living in pink accommodation. What's up with that? Did Saudi-Arabia just get an enormous amount of pink paint for free? Do the wives love pink so much they insist on it?

This got me thinking.. What might be the reasons behind the use of color pink in so many places? I mean I have never seen men so comfortable with pinkness anywhere in the world before or so much pink being used on buildings.
For example a man driving around in a baby pink car in Finland would get VERY long stares, perhaps disbelief and laughter from women and in worst cases even land him in a fight.

Paint the house bright pink and people will think this dude also sees flying pink elephants. Or alternatively that he is a mere doormat and the wife obviously made the final decision on the paint color.
Showing up at an ice hockey game in tight pink jeans and pink tennis shoes would be almost suicidal. The cultural differences of  how people perceive pink are striking!

So are men in my country and in the west in general just so insecure that they are terrified of using the color pink in fear of it somehow diminishing their manhood?
Are Saudi men more secure in their manhood?
Is it a cultural thing? Is pink just perceived as a gender neutral color in Saudi-Arabia?
Why so much pink but not for example red, another "feminine" color?
Is it only in the west that pink is perceived as a women's/girl's color?

This pink mystery reminds me of a true story that happened to my american friend who lives in Riyadh. She was in a shopping mall with her 1,5yr old son. His hair is a little longer which is unusual in Saudi but many parents in the U.S. find cute.

A Saudi woman with a baby stroller stopped to talk to her asking, is this your daughter? My friend said no it's a boy. So this Saudi lady dramatically threw her hands in the air looking toward the sky and began praying: "Oh Allah guide this woman to the straight path!" "Guide her to cut the sons hair!" "He looks like a girl, guide this poor woman!"

She told my friend she MUST cut his hair because he looked like a girl.

My friend was appalled at the woman's behavior. Nevertheless she tried to be polite and said pointing to the woman's baby dressed up in an all-pink outfit "What a beautiful girl you have mashallah".
The woman replied:
"It's a boy."
My friend asked why is he dressed up in PINK?

She replied: "Oh, I don't believe in colors being gender specific."

Btw my friend is an Arab Muslim.
So long hair on boys=big problem, haram, makes boys look like girls=haram.
Pink outfits on boys=no problems, doesn't make boy look like a girl at all.

Maybe Saudi men are dressed in pink as babies and get used to the color as being part of their wardrobe?

So what do you think? Have you noticed this phenomenon? Why do you think pink is so popular?

P.S please note this post is labeled under humor and not to be taken overly seriously :)

The Saudi Son-In-Laws Guide To Surviving The Sauna Test

Sauna..for most people the sauna might sound like a luxury, a special treat or something very exotic. For us Finns the sauna is a part of normal everyday life. It's a necessity, not a luxury. For the five million inhabitants of Finland, there are over 2 million saunas! That makes for almost a sauna per household ratio.

Saunas are everywhere, even inside the smallest city apartments, at health clubs, pools, summer cottages, hotel rooms..There are electric saunas, smoke saunas, barrel saunas, sauna boats, balcony saunas, smart saunas, anything you can imagine, but the favorite sauna for the Finns is the traditional wood-heated fireplace sauna where water is thrown on the rocks to create a soft steam into the sauna.

The traditional Finnish sauna has a specific way it needs to be heated and there are some rather peculiar traditions and practices involved, especially weird and fascinating or even scary for a first time sauna-goer. Finns take pride in their saunas and foreigners will without exception be invited for a sauna session. The Finnish FIL's have a reputation of "testing" the foreign spouses of their daughters in the sauna to see how "manly" they are. This is of course done tongue-in-cheek, but nevertheless it's best to be prepared!

Here's a Finnish sauna guide for all the foreign son-in-laws out there!

If you are a foreign guy (even more so if you're Arab or Saudi) married to a Finnish woman, be prepared for the ultimate acid test when you land on Finnish soil. The FIL's will surely have their fingers itching to get you into the sauna to test out your manhood and compatibility with your Finnish spouse.

Do not sweat! Here is a step by step guide to survive your first sauna ordeal. By following these instructions you will prove yourself worthy of his Finnish daughter.

After landing in Finland you will immediately be taken from the airport to the summer cottage for survival camp.
Be warned that there will be no running water, plumbing or even electricity in some cases.

Upon arrival act calm and ask where the outhouse is (you might need this information sooner than later).
Remember to make polite remarks on how the grass and garden looks so well groomed and how the cottage seems so inviting (even if you feel like running back into the car and heading to the nearest hotel).

Most likely next you will be asked to heat up the sauna. You must understand that sauna is a sacred place to Finns. Finns used to give birth in sauna. DO NOT at any point, under any circumstances attempt to make fun of the sauna traditions. That will be your last joke.

To heat the sauna, you will need wood. Go and chop some up, carry it inside and place into a neat pile.

This would not be the best moment to be lighting a fireplace for the first time. You will need to know at least the basics on how to get the fire going without getting smoke into the sauna. There is something called a smoke sauna, but that is too hardcore for you.

After you have got the fire going in the stove (kiuas)without burning up the whole sauna, you must fetch the water. Take the buckets and fill some with rain water and others with lake/sea water. Put rain water only in the "löyly" bowl to prevent the stove stones from going bad.

Remember to keep checking the temperature of the sauna, you are aiming for 70-80C, not 100C. Heating up to 150C will NOT impress your FIL. That will burn down the sauna. You will need to add wood about every half hour.

Next you will assemble the vihta. This is a 'whisk' or 'whip' made of birch tree branches. Its used to beat yourself with while sitting in the sauna. You need to gather branches from a certain kind of birch and tie it up in a bunch. If you are lucky your FIL might assist you in this. Sometimes families have ready-made dried ones you just need to soak in water to use.

When using the vihta, start by beating your back and arms, then move to your legs. Be sure to hit yourself quite hard so that the skin becomes very red. You will be surprised how nice it feels.This means your blood is now circulating really well! Do not use the vihta like a camel whip! That will cause the leaves to fly all around the sauna.
If your FIL is impressed by your self-beating skills, he may ask you to beat his back for him. This is a great honor. Do not beat him too hard even if tempted.

You might be asked would you like a men's sauna or a family sauna. Men's sauna means you bathe with the men of the family, naked. Family sauna means you bathe with your wife and children, also naked. Don't freak out about the nudity, it's a perfectly natural thing and Finns won't look "there". Easiest for you would be family sauna, but if you do end up with the men, you can always use a towel to cover when you go outside for a cooling and swim.

In the sauna you will start by throwing water on the stove (kiuas). The steam this creates is called "löyly". It is considered polite to praise the sauna and the excellence of the löyly. Try to stand the heat for at least 5 minutes then go cool off. The Finns will be throwing lots of löyly so be prepared not to chicken out too soon.

If you are next to a water source, you will need to go for a swim (even if the water is only 15c). That is seen as manly and give you high points in the eyes of your FIL (and maybe your wife). Extra points come from a spectacular jump accompanied by a magnificent roar.

If you don't at least dip yourself in the water (not just the tip of your toes but entire body), you will fail the sauna test. Thank your lucky stars you didn't come in the winter time when you would be required to roll around in the snow or dip into the frozen lake! The cold water stimulates the blood circulation and afterward you will feel like a hero because of the endorphines running through the body.

After the cold shock some people like to hang around outside chatting, having a drink and enjoying the scenery. Then the sauna bathing continues like this in cycles of hot and cold. Do at least three cycles to prove your stamina.

Don't worry if everyone sits quiet as a mouse on the benches. Mostly Finns will just sit quietly without feeling awkward. Sauna is not a place for debates or lively conversation, but rather self reflecting and silence. The children in Finland are taught "In the sauna you must be as quiet as in the church". Finns don't know how to small talk either.

When you're finished wash yourself with birch tree soap. Mix hot and cold water from the large barrels in your washing basin. Rinse off with rain water.

After the sauna cool off with a drink and eat some delicious sausage (makkara) cooked on the sauna stove served with hot mustard. Remember to once more praise the löyly to your hosts!

Hopefully your FIL will approve your sauna performance and you will be accepted into the family! Good luck!

Lessons Learned on the Saudi Roads

Let me tell you a story and a valuable learning experience from our Saudi Road trip.

So we were cruising on the highway in the rented SUV somewhere between Kharj and Wadi Al-Dawasir surrounded by literally NOTHING else than rocks. The scenery out there is just flat. Not even the random camels you often see roaming in the desert could be seen, let alone a twig. Just flatness. And rocks.

This sign indicates there would in fact be camels around but I think they just put it there for looks.

This was the most interesting scenery and the only pic I took for about 500km.

So back to the story, I was sitting in the backseat next to the baby who was playing with her toys in her car seat (or so I thought). I was pumping milk and had the lights off because in case some over enthusiastic idiot drove too close and got all excited from a glimpse of that glamorous sight (let me tell you there is nothing glamorous or exciting about pumping milk, but with Saudi guys, you never know). So in order to save time I figured I could just pump the milk and give it to her in a bottle instead of having to make another stop.

My mom and husband were listening to some weird radio program that sounded like it was being broadcast from outer space. It was the only channel available in English out there. I think it was the news but I could be wrong because like I said it sounded like it was coming from light years away. But anyways they had the volume so high I could not even hear the breast pump make the yatouhuuyatouhuuyatouhuu -sound.

Suddenly I realized the baby was making a gagging sound. Ok I was not so alarmed at first because my baby has some sort of obsession of sticking fingers in her mouth so far that it makes her gag. And she thinks it's funny! This baby does not have a sense of humor! I mean who does that anyways? And please don't tell me there's something called baby-bulimia because there's not. It's just her thing ok.

So I told her to stop (as if it helps) but it just got worse. I flipped the light on and saw she was really gagging on something this time. From this point on the story becomes a bit blurry in my mind.

I shouted to my husband to stop the car because the baby was choking and he braked so hard the car almost flipped. We stopped on the side of the highway where maniacs are speeding by at 200km/h. My husband and mom ran out of the car to her side and took her out of the car seat. Did I mention I was still attached to the breast pump? Oh and that mom was not wearing her abaya.

It was so dark they couldn't see clearly if there was anything in her mouth. I had taught my husband basic CPR skills in cases of emergency and stressed the importance of the "no blind sweeping" rule. I was so proud that he remembered it when he was forbidding mom from doing it! I saw the baby become increasingly red from gagging from her face at this point. Which could be seen as a good sign because at least there's still oxygen in her system.

The only thing I could think of was to get to her. So I just threw the bottles on the floor and got out of the car with my ta-tas peeking out of the abaya (which I only realized later).

I took the baby and automatically started doing what I had been practicing many times with a dummy in Life Support classes. Somehow time stopped and things slowed down like in the Matrix movies except that thankfully I didn't have to dodge any bullets. I was thinking to myself this is not happening. I am not going to let her choke here, in the middle of the desert! There is no time for an ambulance or even helicopter to reach us(and where the hell are we anyways, next to rock number 76,945,412?) I was determined to get the thing out of her.

Looking back I cannot believe how calm I was. I kept hitting her in the back to hope something would fly out but without avail. The baby was starting to get limp and blue and stopped gagging. So I decided to look once more in her mouth by shining the iPhone light in there. And lo and behold there it was. A piece of clear plastic stuck down her throat.

I managed to get it out and THANK GOD she started breathing normally again. The sneaky little bugger had reached out to a small plastic wrapper and started chewing on it. Despite the 100 toys I had given her to play with in the car seat. I mean who does that?

So what lessons can we learn from this story?
-Learn basic life support skills, and teach your partner and other family members too.
-While pumping breast milk in car in Saudi-Arabia, remember to close your abaya when finishing and getting out of the car
-That said don't pump milk in a car in Saudi-Arabia.
-Or rent a car with tinted back windows
-Always keep your iPhone charged
-Babies like to chew on plastic bags
-Babies like to play with anything ELSE than their own toys
-Always keep your baby in a car seat

-The scenery between Kharj and Wadi-Al-Dawasir is most likely the most BORING you will ever see.
-Saudi radio stations suck

Learn CPR:
http://globalcrisis.info/cpr.html#baby
Why you shouldn't blindly stick your fingers in your babies mouth:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1342520/pdf/jaccidem00006-0058.pdf

Seeking for Decent Bride, Fair and Lovely, No Demands.

It's not only the Saudis that are having arranged marriages in the Kingdom. There are large communities of Muslim expats permanently settled in the country who also prefer arranged marriages. Those Muslims often find it easier to seek for suitable brides and grooms online or on newspapers.


For example there are hundreds of matrimonial sites for Indians and Pakistanis alone. Then there's specific sites for the expats living in Saudi to which they turn to when the son or daughter is ready to get married. Using media for finding a bride/grooom is seen as perfectly normal and efficient way to find a spouse. Many arranged marriages do succeed, but I guess at least an equal amount do not.

In the west on the other hand, people are more used to using internet and other media for dating purposes and getting to know the person they are interested in. Men and women do also search for life companions but not with the type of adds than you might see in a Saudi newspaper. In the west people would typically go to great lengths to describe their character and personalities, views on life and future hopes rather than family backgrounds or skin color preference.


A short add in a European newspaper stating a man is urgently looking to marry any young, good-looking, non-demanding woman of certain height and skin color that is a good cook would be seen as a bad joke or even racist and chauvinistic.


For those not used to arranged marriages seeing these kinds of straight-forward marriage proposals comes across as really odd. Sometimes it seems as if the most important qualities mentioned in these adds are racial origin, skin color, height and age of the woman. Additional mentions go to cooking, home making skills and degrees. It's also strange to see parents placing the adds for their children.

I stumbled upon some pretty interesting (and some funny) adds on an expat website..


SEEKING DECENT BRIDGE
A Pakistan National 47 years old man working in Saudi Arabia from 20 years seeking Pakistani decent Bridge under 35 years old, having strong financial position with family status. Reason for having another marry is lack of son. Interested families may be contacted at the following an email with full detail and photo, SYED -SUNNI & BUKHARI family is preferred.
bridge_required@yahoo.com


Looking for a Bride
Sunni muslim indian hyderabadi parents searching a bride for my younger brother and who's profile
Age: 27 yrs
Height: 5.10 inch
Color: wheatish
Education: gradute (Bachelor of Commerce)
Position : Sales Coordinator
Settled in ksa 


Girl shoude be atleast 
Age : 20 to 26 yrs
Height: 5.3 and above
Color : fair
Educaton: any
homely responly house duty religious minded
No demands 
If these breif detail mates your requirement please forward the pic and details from your side to...


Urgent need a cute wife for my self (your all condistions will be accepted)
 i am from saudiarab bassiclay from peshawar age 32, belongs to pathan family, working as an electrical supervisor, having cool financialy background, have 2 lak Saudi riayal bank balance here in ksa and having 90 lak rupees property in pakistan. i am independant need a lifepartner age 17-20 from any cast. i will supourt financailly. work visa will be given to her brother. if any one interested pls contact 


Looking for 2nd wife
 am looking for blonde girl .North American or European .from age 26 to 35. 
height from 5,2 to 5,6 ft
.beautiful
take care of her body and health ...honest
Iam work as ER doctor in Gov hospital
and my first wife still in Egypt not here in KSA
i have all equp to get married in month or may be less


Seeking for second wife 
I am from hyderabad, PG, working in Jeddah, 6000 SR/month with family status ofcourse, goodlooking, religious, physically and financially strong alhamdulillah, already with wife and small kids eldest dgtr is 4 yrs, 
looking for religious, god fearing, niqab observing,fair, sincere family oriented, atleast graduate girl, age not more than 32 years, (divorcees with children excuse please).
If someone finds this suitable please contact me through the email
Ma'assalam

and the same guy amended the add to this the next day..


Seeking for second wife
I am from Pakistan City Faisalabad, B.Tech (Electrical) from Preston University, working in Jeddah, 5000 SR/month with family status of course, good looking, religious, physically and financially strong alhamdulillah, already married and going for seperation soon as we are not understanding totally to each other.
looking for religious, god fearing, observing,fair, sincere family oriented, atleast graduate girl, age not more than 25 years, (divorcees with children excuse please).
If someone finds this suitable please contact me through the email
Ma'assalam


Looking for second wife
 I am Saudi man working in health sector, looking for a bride in Jeddah as second wife. She will have a full respected treatment as Islam's state on.
Preferred: good looking, whitish, Arabic, social, separated woman with/without kids. Of-course, fearing Allah, from decent family, well educated, open minded ...etc.
I am 37yrs old, open minded, practical, fearing Allah ...bla bla, financially capable to open 2nd house.


Seeking bride for our son
We are seeking a bride for our son, Electrical Engineer, age 26 years, slim and smart, raised & educated in Saudi Arabia, currently employed in a well reputed company. We are a Sunni Muslim Awan family belong to Punjab - Pakistan . 

Bride should be simple, polite, beautiful, well educated and family oriented with Islamic cultured, enough to know the difference between a house and a home, age between 20 to 23 years,
Interested parents / guardians are kindly requested to forward the bride bio-data in detail through email. You all are very respectable for us and we assured you, that your all information's will be treated as confidential.
Best Regards
Groom Parents


Proposal
We are looking proposal for younger brother, who is 27 years old, Fair, Good Looking, 6.1" Tall, B.com, M.com, working in Hyderabad,
Bride should be very good in look, Slim, Beautiful with Sharp features & religious, very soft in nature, well-mannered, strictly practicing hijaab (veil and wimple) and knows all domestic responsibilities.
Interested parents are kindly requested to forward detailed bio-data along with very recent picture of the bride 


Reading all these and there are hundreds like them out there, left me with a feeling of  sadness..what is a woman's value these days? Isn't there anyone out there looking for a woman as a companion and an equal partner nowadays? Are all these men/parents just searching for a white-skinned beautiful maid/cook/bedroom entertainment center/baby producing machine? And all these men looking for second wives..ugh.


But then I saw these two adds and I thought, there is some HOPE.

Looking for beauty with brains
Well travelled, educated egyptain doctor (46) is looking for a companion marriage. Someone used to travelling, has a mind of her own - not a yes-woman. Overall must be an interesting personality.


Seeking Bride 
I am Filipino Nationals and i am looking for divorced or widowed saudi or egyptian lady with kids.
The lady should be educated and studied outside the Kingdom, speaks english fluently, open minded, caring and loving. No age limit required as long as she is willing to be my life time partner.


Well I hope all the persons eventually find what they are looking for..Ok maybe not the men looking for second wives haha ;)

Filthy Rich Arabs Doing Forest Work in Finland

I stumbled upon this news article on a Finnish tabloid magazine about the GCC youth camp that has been arranged for the first time in a tiny town in Eastern Finland. The article about these millionaire Khaleejis in the Finnish forest made me laugh a few times but it was also interesting. Looks like the reporter has been dramatizing the story somewhat although this might even be her real perception of Arabs. I think this article summarizes pretty well how Finns in general perceive Arab men and the Gulf countries.

What made this story even more interesting to me is the location of the camp. I moved to Eastern Finland for a short while to a small town nearby. Everyone seemed to know one another and there were always rumors about the neighbors. If someone had lots of money they never showed it because Eastern Finns are known to be quite jealous and always talk about other people's money! The Finns of the Eastern province are also known to be talkative (to the point where they make up or blow up stories), laid-back and humorous but they might also have certain reserves for foreigners (or even Finns from other regions).
The mentality of the people of Eastern Finland shines through in this article and it made me smile.

Another thing worth mentioning: The man interviewed from Finland is the father of the woman who recruited me to Saudi-Arabia. We were even co-workers for a short while in the nursing recruitment agency. What a small world.

So here is the article translated into English:


Filthy Rich Arabs came to do forest work in Savo


Luxury palaces changed to everyday work in autumn Finland

Mohamed Hamed has previously met for example Saudi-Arabia's and Kuwait's heirs to the throne.Good relations to the Arab countries rulers made the oil billionaires choose Finland for their camp location. 


Three men are kneeling in prayer at the Vanamola camp grounds in Joroinen, Southern-Savo(eastern Finland). When the religious duties have been performed, the men gather around the campfire to enjoy some arabic coffee. Dates brought from their home countries are offered to guests too.


The majority of the 76 arab men are currently learning how to do forestry in the nearby pine forest. The temperature is only 6 degrees and with the chilly autumn wind blowing on the yellow birch leaves, beanies and quilted coats are clearly coming in handy.


The men are from rich oil countries:Qatar, Kuwait, Bahrain, Oman, UAE and Saudi-Arabia. In their home countries they are used to multistorey palaces and being constantly surrounded by servants. In Finland they must even make their own coffee in pots.


What made the millionaires come to the cold north?
We have a history of many years of co-operation with the Persian gulf councils (GCC) youth ministry. They decided to arrange the first Persian Gulf countries youth camp and the location was finally decided upon Finland and Joroinen, the projects organizer Mohammed Hamed says.


He works as a youth-worker for the city of Varkaus, but has known some big shots from the Arab countries for many years. Close relations to ministers and successors to the thrown played a crucial role when the arab countries started searching for a suitable destination for their youth camp. The camp is the first of its kind in the entire Europe.
-The ones that had been to Finland before described it as beautiful and safe, Hamed knows.

Salman AlMahmood, Abdulla Ebrahim and Mohamed AlRashedi would like to visit Finland again, even though the October weather does not suit the Arab youths that are used to temperatures as high as +60C. 

Life of luxury

The rumor in Savo has it that there could be even royals or at least some sort of sheikhs among the campers, but Hamed does not directly endorse the claim.

We are not elaborating on their backgrounds because we want to highlight everyone's equality. They are all rich, that we cannot deny though. For them it's perfectly normal to live in three to four story houses, which in Finnish terms is a sumptuous palace. At home they are constantly surrounded by servants, but this time I have been instructed to put them to work Hamed says.

A Finnish man that has been observing the hassle of the campers reveals that there have almost been some dietary issues. The guest's religion forbids eating pork among other things and even the animals that have reached the dinner table have their own slaughtering regulations.

But when you ask the campers themselves, they have had nothing to complain about. Mohamed AlRashedi, Salman Almahmood and Abdulla Ebrahim from Bahrain praise the Finns to be open and friendly. The beautiful nature has also made an impact.

They think that Finland has been surprisingly expensive when compared to other European countries. Despite that the men don't have to worry about lack of money, because the oil countries can afford to take care of their citizens.

-Back home our lives are very simple. We don't pay any taxes, studying is free and if you want to get married for example, the government will give you money to organize the wedding, AlRashedi says.

Yonsef Al-Saady, Mubarak Jeaithin and Saleh Ghareeh are making coffee by the campfire.

One euro is currently only half a Bahraini dinar, so the men are hoping for some affordable shopping in the next few days. The entourage is leaving to Helsinki on monday, where they are hoping to meet the President of Finland herself. An application requesting to meet her has already been sent, but they do not know yet if it was accepted.

Hamed says getting such a prestigious group of guests to the 5000 inhabitant strong Joroinen was like winning the lottery, because the wealthy arab countries are willing to pay for the expenses of their campers.

-This visit will not cost even a penny to the Finnish government, because the participating countries are paying for every single thing. Instead the guests will leave big money to the surrounding communities and Helsinki, Hamed states.

FACTS ABOUT THE CAMP:

The camp is organized and funded by the Persian Gulf council (GCC) youth ministry

The EU-like GCC consists of wealthy oil countries such as Kuwait, UAE, Bahrain, Saudi-Arabia, Oman and Qatar.

Almost 80 guests from different countries are participating in the 10-day camp

The camp programme will consist of introduction to the Finnish culture, meeting with Finnish youths, doing forest work and a friendly football game with the local football team. Next week the campers will go to Helsinki for some sightseeing.

I cracked up when I saw the guy holding the arabic coffee pot over the campfire!