The Top 14 Most Romantic Restaurants In Riyadh

Riyadh and Romance don't exactly go hand in hand do they? Despite its boring reputation, Riyadh has some surprisingly romantic restaurants where lovers can find a nice quiet spot. I've noticed that some of the best restaurants in Riyadh are also the most romantic. With the upcoming Valentine's Day next weekend, many couples are going to eat out in Riyadh. Here's my top list of romantic restaurants found in Riyadh for some tips on where to head for that special Valentine's Day romance!

1. The Globe, Cristal and Cigar Lounge Faisaliyah Tower
Probably the best views in town. Dine high above the city lights indulging on exquisite dishes made by some of the world's top chefs in a luxurious setting. Extra bonus the ladies can take abayas off. The Globe Summit event takes place this weekend for more details check here: http://www.rosewoodhotels.com/en/alfaisaliahhotel/i/downloads/The_Globe_Summit_Classes_and_Menus.pdf

2. Spazio, Kingdom Tower
The second best views in town. Great food and ambiance. Enjoy some sushi and a chance to walk on the Sky Bridge.

3. Mondo Intercontinental Hotel
One of the only places you will find a table next to a water source. Mondo has an outdoor seating area by the poolside. Fantastic food and romantic music.

4. Appetit Kitchen Tahlia Street
What could be more romantic than an evening out in Paris? Appetite Kitchen is as close to being in the real thing as you can get in the sand pit. Dimmed lights, cozy atmosphere, sophisticated music and best of all, candlelit dinner!

5. Cento Per Cento Olaya Street
Book your own beautifully decorated private room with a set 7 course menu for an all out evening.

6. Fairuz Garden King Fahad rd.
Beautiful design, dim lights, and you can book a table in advance which they especially decorate for you with rose pedals and candles. Choice of sitting outside with a view to the Kingdom tower.

7. Maya La Chocolaterie Ourouba rd.
The ultimate place for all chocolate lovers, the chocolaterie offers an extensive menu of pure indulgence in a warm atmosphere with soulful music playing in the background. This love clinic will get your endorphins running high!

8. L'Olimpo end of Tahlia Street, Dhabab rd.

This restaurant looks like it belongs somewhere in Italy, the decor inside is romantic with fountains and an overall very Italian feel. Choice of small outdoor seating area or private rooms.

9. Hediard Tahlia Street
Another option for outside family section dining. Prime location on the rooftop on Tahlia street.

10. Azurro Ritz Carlton
Another poolside restaurant, this Italian will make you feel like royalty with six star service and views to the spectacular inside pool area.

11. Lenotre Cafe Centria Mall
Lenotre has some of the best desserts in town, served in a fab setting on a terrace overlooking Olaya street and the Kingdom tower.

12. La Vela Centria Mall
Dine inside at the fabulously decorated La Vela or outside on their terrace with views to the Faisaliyah tower and down to Tahlia street. Candles, great ambiance and tasty desserts!

13. Amore Tahlia Street
The name says it all, this Italian has some of the best pizzas and pasta in town and great service in a modern setting.

14. Scalinis in Diplomatic Quarters. This Italian restaurant is located in the Fazari plaza area and female guests can remove their abayas. Nice decor, good food and one of the safest places to dine for those looking for muttawa-free areas.

What are your favorite romantic restaurants in Riyadh? What would you add to this list?

P.S. My husband wants to mention he does not agree with this post because he thinks I'm promoting Valentine's day :D

Spa Review: Maison Joelle- A Lavish Experience

One of the nicest things to do in Riyadh as a woman is visiting the many luxurious spas around the city and getting pampered for the day. All of the Riyadh spas are gender segregated meaning either males or females-only allowed inside the premises. The female-only spas offer many services familiar to expat women from their home countries and depending on where you come from the prices of some services are relatively affordable. Riyadh has so many ladies spas it's not an easy task to choose where it's worth putting your money in. Blue Abaya is starting a review series on the best spas and salons in Riyadh, so stay tuned for more reviews of Riyadh's top spots for relaxation and beauty! For more reviews and things to do in Riyadh check out the Blue Abaya Facebook page and please give it a "like": http://www.facebook.com/BlueAbayaBlog

My mother and I were invited to try out the services at a posh spa in Riyadh called Maison Joelle. Prior to my visit to Maison Joelle I researched their brand and found that this spa has branches all over the Gulf including the prestigious Kempinski hotel in Dubai. The founder of Maison Joelle, Joelle Mardinian, is a famous Lebanese make-up artist.
According to their webpage http://www.maisondejoelle.com "Maison Joelle is an exclusive beauty house offering a unique beauty experience. The sophistication of Maison de Joelle is mirrored by the owner, Joelle Mardinian, a talented Make-Up Artist and beauty expert who gained her qualifications in the UK.

Maison de Joelle is in its own right a celebrity salon and a leading beauty house in the Middle East. Today, the salon is featured weekly on MBC1 in a reality TV series called ''Joelle''. The show highlights the transformations of it’s' clients incorporating all the services we offer including complete makeovers."

Maison Joelle promises: "In this Celebrity Salon, you are guaranteed celebrity treatment!"

Maison Joelle is located in the heart of Riyadh on Olaya Street, in the building which is opposite Tony Roma's restaurant. The entrance to the spa is from the back of this building.

The entrance to Maison Joelle looks like this:

The atmosphere is inviting and the salon is decorated with beautiful interior designs. The high ceilings give the place an airy feel. The the atmosphere at Maison Joelle is laid back and the place bustles with life. There are lots of employees to take care of the customers needs and everyone spoke at least satisfactory English during our visits. 

My mother's visit to Maison Joelle was for a hair cut and color and manicure. Her experience was very positive and she was extremely happy with her new hair cut, and I had to agree it made her look 10 years younger. The hair stylist had also given her tips on how to style the hair. During her spa visit my mother had greatly enjoyed talking with the friendly Saudi women at the spa and said it was one of the most memorable experiences of her trip to KSA.

During my visit I was first shown around the spa and salon area for a quick tour. The salon is divided into two different sections and there's a separate manicure/pedicure room and a make-up and eyebrow shaping room. Maison Joelle also has an exclusive VIP area which is meant mainly for private bookings such as brides. I really liked the design and furniture used in the spa and the open areas such as the manicure and pedicure area, although personally I prefer a more private setting for pedicures. Maison Joelle has a small coffee shop inside the facility where they offer small snacks and hot and cold beverages.

 My spa visit was going to consist of highlights and root coloring plus blow dry, mani- and pedicure, eyebrow shaping and coloring and a slimming massage.

I was greeted by a smiling and friendly hair stylist and her assistant and we discussed what I wanted to have done. She was quick to understand what exactly it was that I wanted and they started to work on my hair.

Unfortunately the coffee shop was closed during my visit because the employee had called in sick. The staff were so nice and tried to make up for this by making me a complimentary Turkish coffee. My seat was comfy and soft and the staff all made me feel very welcome with their smiles. I was offered some magazines to browse through and was happy to see some English language magazines as well.

Due to the fact that I had left both of my babies (the other one only 5 weeks old) with my husband for the time of my visit, we had planned to speed things up and have many treatments done at the same time.

While the two women were applying the highlights a manicurist came to begin on my hands. She was polite, but seemed a little bit absent minded. I was a bit surprised that my hands were not soaked in warm water before the manicure began. My fingertips were only dipped in a bowl of cold water which I felt did not serve the purpose of softening the cuticles enough.

After my highlights were in I transferred to the pedicure area. A very lovely Filipino lady started working on my pedicure and my feet were placed in the foot bath. It would've been even nicer had the bath had the whirlpool effect in it. The seat was comfortable and I liked that there was a big flat screen TV to watch. 

During the pedicure my manicurist finished with my nails. Her work was of good quality but to my disappointment there was no massage of the hands and fingers which I think is a nice relaxing finishing touch to manicures. Maison Joelle has an impressive selection of high quality nail polishes and it was hard to choose between all the yummy colors available.

I was impressed with my pedicurist. She really took the time to remove all the dry skin and callous from my feet and especially my heels. She was firm but not too rough and for the first time I didn't get ticklish while having a pedicure! The pedicurist told me I had some problem with the a toenail and asked if I wanted to have the ingrown nail removed. She told me it would be painful, but good to remove. I agreed and she got the nail out with only a slight pain. I was actually surprised that all my previous pedicurists hadn't noticed this and glad that it had finally been taken care of. She finished off with a nice relaxing massage. Again I was delighted by all the lovely nail polish colors and went for an awesome bronze color for the toes which really made them look fab. I have to say this was the best pedicure result I had EVER had in Riyadh, and I have been to most of the top spas. I will definitely start having regular pedicures here.

I decided to have my eyebrows tinted and shaped by the "Arabic" style. They didn't have a catalog to choose the shape from but I was given an iPad to browse the styles. I found something I liked and showed it to the eyebrow stylist and she began to paint the color on with a small brush. Se was very delicate and paid attention to detail while painting and removing the stray hair under the brows. This was the first time I had my eyebrows done this way and it took a while to get used to the new look which by first impression was very "out-there". After a few days the initial darkness was gone and the tone and shape of the brows was great, just like I wanted them, although I did find a few stray hairs the next day while I checked in daylight.

Next I moved to the hair rinsing place where the two ladies rinsed and washed my hair and then started applying the root color. I had to wait for quite a while and the seat here was a bit uncomfortable for such a long period of sitting. The headrest didn't seem to settle in the right place, it kept falling too low and my neck started to hurt a little. A very nice smelling Kerastase hair mask was applied after the hair color was rinsed out and I moved back to the salon chair where my hair was blow dried. 

The hair came out excellent, I was actually surprised because it has been very hard for me to find a hair colorist in Riyadh that knows how to handle "western" blonde hair and not to turn it grey, orange or even green (believe it or not has happened in Riyadh before). The result was just like I had requested, the highlights looked natural and even throughout my long hair and my roots had been perfectly covered. All this and there was still a healthy shine to my hair. It would've been nice to have a moisturizing spray applied after the blow-dry though because the next day my hair felt somewhat dry and static.

My last treatment was the slimming massage which I had opted for in hopes of getting rid of the excess fluid retention in my body after the delivery. A friendly Filipino lady directed me to the treatment room. The treatment room didn't have a separate changing room/shower next to it where the client can easily and with full privacy undress and change to the treatment clothing but instead I was directed to change the clothes while the masseuse stepped out of the room. 

The room was also a little bit cold I would've loved to have some more scented candles burning around during the treatment. The lady told me that the slimming massage is actually supposed to be done in 10 sessions to have the most benefit and best result out of it. I was a little skeptical of the efficiency of just one session but hoped for the best. 

Good thing that the massage therapist warned me beforehand it would be painful because boy, was it painful when she started on my legs. I cannot say that part was enjoyable at all. In fact at times I wished I was rather in labor! I thought to myself the result will surely be worth it and beauty doesn't come without some suffering right, so I bared it. The legs were the most painful part though and the rest of the massage was more relaxing and definitely less painful. She even massaged my neck and shoulders as an extra thing from my request.

The massage therapist seemed very professional and knowledgeable and she suggested some treatment options suitable for me. She told me they offer a post natal program as well. As for the result of the slimming massage, I have to say I was positively shocked to see my stomach the next day in the mirror. It had been very swollen from the pregnancy but the next day looked totally different and MUCH better! The pain had been worth it after all! I didn't see any drastic changes in the rest of my body though but I'm sure if I could have the chance to have all the ten sessions it would provide results elsewhere too.

All in all my experience at Maison Joelle was very pleasant and relaxing and I would not have any problems recommending it to my friends, especially for pedicures and the hair salon. The location is great and the prices are reasonable. Manicure starts at 95SAR a haircut 200SAR, hair color from 275SAR, slimming massage 450SAR. Service at Maison Joelle was very friendly and efficient and no doubt I will be visiting there again.

Maison Joelle Riyadh services and price list: http://www.maisondejoelle.com/pricelist/ksa-pricelist.pdf
Olaya Street, Serkon Building 14
Phone: 012933222

All images provided by Maison Joelle

Oh Christmas Tree? Oh Christmas Tree!

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
Thou tree most fair and lovely!
Oh Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
Thou tree most fair and lovely!
The sight of thee at Christmastide
Spreads hope and gladness far and wide
Oh Christmas tree, O Christmas tree 
Thou tree most fair and lovely!

Saudi version:
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
thou tree most scarce and forbidden

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
where are thy branches hidden?

The sight of thee in Saudi-land
Spreads fear and loathing in the sand


O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
thou tree most scarce and forbidden


Christmas decorations such as trees in public are pretty much non-existent during the holiday season in Saudi-Arabia. Christmas is viewed as a Christian religious holiday and all items that celebrate it are supposed to be forbidden here. Christmas trees would be seen as religious symbols (which they are not really). Despite the lack of holiday spirit in the public sphere, many expats and even locals celebrate the holidays in the privacy of their homes.
The only Christmas tree that I know of on public display in Riyadh was in Hayat mall and it was not even decorated. It's pretty amazing how they pulled that one off without the Hai'a having a say. Maybe there were too many women with nail polish around on that day for the religious police to notice anything. My friend sent me this pic:

The only way I knew people got Christmas trees in Saudi was if they had shipped theirs in like my friend Nicole who managed to ship in a pretty large fake tree among her stuff from the States not so long ago.
That's why I had given up on the idea of ever having a tree here.

How I found my own fake tree was by pure accident. I was in an area in Riyadh which could be called a ghetto, looking around for some holiday decorations. We went there knowing they sell Christmas-sy decorations such as lights and those colorful frills people here use on Eid.


I entered one of the shops that sells all sorts of tawdry stuff and plastic crap. In Finnish I would call it a rihkama store. The place was packed with people and I saw an entire shelf full of what could not be mistaken for anything else than Christmas ornaments. I was shocked a little but happy to have found them. Out of the blue I asked the salesman if they happened to have Christmas trees for sale.

The look on his face was as if I had just asked him for drugs.

The salesman turned red and whispered back to me, yes we do have as if he was letting me in on a state secret. I remained calm but inside I was now very excited. I had not expected this at all! Christmas trees for sale in Saudi-Arabia? No way!

I excitedly asked what sizes they had since I didn't want to leave the store dragging a huge log behind me. He tried to show me the sizes with his hands while constantly eyeing the nearby Saudi customers with suspicion. He pretended to arrange some boxes around while doing it. I asked if the trees were decorated and did they have a stand. His nervous replies started to make me nervous too.

I told him I needed to see it before I could buy anything. The salesman hesitated but then motioned me to follow him. My heart was now beating faster as I realized my dream of having a cute little tree might come true after-all but at the same time I was nervous because the salesman was acting like we were about to commit a horrid crime.

It felt like he was a drug dealer about to show me his stash of cocaine.

The man walked to an aisle in the middle of the store fearfully glancing around, now visibly anxious and fidgety. He said "if any man with beard come, problem".

I nodded and said mafi mushkila. He kneeled down and removed the screws that had been loosely placed on the bottom of the corridor shelves. The front came off and revealed the long cardboard boxes hidden inside.

Now two Saudi women walked by. The salesman scrambled quickly closing the door and stood up while I pretended to browse through the cheap alarm clocks on top of the shelf. I wondered what my husband would say about the tree.

The women finally left and the salesman opened the door again. I could see three different sizes of boxes. He asked me which one I wanted. I told him I would have to see the actual tree before purchasing, but I wanted the smallest one. He opened one of the boxes and showed me the top of the tree which in all honesty looked really darn crappy, but beggars are not choosers.

"Will you take it ma'm?" I told him yes, I will take "it"!

The man pulled the box out of its hiding place. Suddenly the box fell apart and a portion of the tree was now showing.

My heart almost stopped.

The salesman panicked and started shouting in Hindi to his co-worker while trying to hide the branches with his arms. The co-worker flew to rescue with two large white plastic bags. With trembling hands they shoved the tree in the bag and placed another one on top covering all the green parts.

He told me he would take this "ahem" to the cashier to wait for me. Luckily it seemed as if the Saudi customers around the store were oblivious to our sneaky Christmas tree business and no bearded men were in sight.

With my heart still racing from the adrenaline rush this piece of green plastic had triggered, I tried to pick up some decorations for the tree. Strangely they were all out on display. I found colored pine cones, ball ornaments, frills and stars. One salesman even brought a big box of stars to me.

I wondered why it was acceptable to sell these ornaments but the actual tree was treated like the anti christ.

When I was done I apprehensively approached the cashier. I tried to wait for a moment when there was no queue but that was not going to happen on a busy evening like this. When my turn came I quickly handed him the basket full of tree decorations. He glanced around from the corner of his eyes and took the things directly into a plastic bag.

Next I wondered how I was supposed to tell him about "it". I said there was 'ahem ahem' something for me here. I tried to look for the white plastic bag and noticed it stashed behind his chair. The cashier did not understand my code language for hidden christmas tree so I had to point to the bag and say I think that was mine. "Oh OK ma'm". He did not even touch the bag.

At this point my husband suddenly rushed into the store. My first thought was he came to warn me about approaching muttawa but he wanted me to hurry up because the children were crying in the car. I pointed to the tree bag saying that's ours. He asked, "are you sure? Why is it there?" I told yes I'm very sure. So then my husband just threw it on his shoulder unknowing it was in fact a Christmas tree.

I tried to act normal but couldn't help laughing at the situation and the very pale face of the cashier. My husband with the tree hanging on his shoulder asked what's in here anyways? Weren't you supposed to buy some candles? I told him "oh, nothing special, I will tell you later."

So we ran to the car parked close by with the Christmas tree on my husbands shoulder. He opened the back door and threw the bag in. We ran not because we had just purchased a black market Christmas tree but because of the crying babies, but admittedly it might have looked suspicious. I giggled about the experience for a long time and managed to keep the tree as a surprise for my husband.

The next day I set up the tree and decorations. Although very small, it didn't look too bad at all. My husband laughed when he saw it and realized that he had been running around the ghetto with a Christmas tree on his back!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

You fill my heart with music.
Reminding me on Christmas Day
To think of you and then be gay.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You fill my heart with music.

SAMSUNG Godfathers And Washing Machine Eating Mice

You've probably heard about the crappy customer service in Saudi-Arabia before. Disservice, un-service, no service..WHAT service? Sometimes I'm lost for words when describing these things. It makes my head hurt and I can feel how my brain cells are slowly dying from trying to handle the ultimate stupidity. I try not to think about it too much in fear of permanent brain damage.

Let me tell you that writing this post literally made me sweat in agony. Experiencing this in real life however was something else altogether. The customer service here can only really be understood by someone who has had the "privilege" to experience it.
Like those moments when you called the plumber to come "plumb" something, he comes and pours water on it and says "ma'm it's plumbed". 
To give you a better idea of how things work (or don't work) in the Magic Kingdom, read this encounter with SAMSUNG Riyadh customer services. 

28th October
Our a little bit over a year old Samsung washing machine breaks. An error message appears on the computer screen when the machine tries to start rinsing cycle. I inform husband. We suspect a problem with the drain or filter. Husband calls plumber and cleans filter.

29th October
Plumber arrives, checks drains. Pours water in them. "Kulu kweis. Mafi mushkila."
Husband calls Samsung maintenance service telling them our machine is broken. They promise to send "someone".

1st November
The first Samsung maintenance dude arrives. Cannot diagnose problem, finds no issues, machine appears to be working when he checks. Note he checks the machine with no laundry in it. DUH!
An hour after his "check-up" I run a cycle of laundry, it happens again, husband calls him to come back. Dude says he will come back Saturday and order the spare parts to fix the computer board. As if the problem is in the computer screen itself and not the actual machine. Silly me for thinking that when an error message appears, it means there's a problem somewhere else. The maintenance dude naturally knows what he is doing right. RIGHT?

8th November
After about 192 calls to Samsung that week the same dude finally comes and changes the computer board. They test it, now with laundry inside (which my husband insisted to put in) and it seems to work. Charged 700 SAR for all this.

9th November
I start doing laundry. The same freakin problem comes up and I scream a little bit inside. I am starting to have a huge pile of laundry by now. The laundry room has started to stink.
Husband calls Samsung and says the machine is broken again. "We will send someone" they say.

11th November
The someone comes after about 36 phone calls to Samsung asking when is mr. Someone coming.
He tries to check the machine, opens up the backdoor and takes some wire out. Diagnosis: The lock and the computer board has to be changed. 
Excuse me? Samsung dude #1 already fixed it and we paid for it.
Dude #2 says when dude #1 changed the computer board he should have also changed the lock because if he doesn't they're both going to break. 
OK so you're telling me he kind of un-fixed it? Like, as in BROKE it more?
Dude #2 leaves saying he has to now order the spare parts from somewhere (maybe somebody will hand carry them on foot from China?)

12th-13th November
Husband calls Samsung, nobody knows anything.
Laundry room has now started to seriously stink. Stink as in MOLD stink.  Plumber comes. Says the nasty smell is coming because we're not using the washing machine which normally would flush the drains. Pours water on drain, leaves.
Thank you Samsung for the lovely TOXIC home odors.

14th November
The same dude comes back again after a few days with a co-dude. They change the computer and the lock. Next he cannot locate the wire which he had removed the first time for reasons not understandable to people with logic. (try looking in your arse perhaps? ) After an hour searching an area of about 3 square meters they finally relocate the mysterious wire. Dude #2 puts the thing back in.

Machine does not work.

Another two hours goes by and either dude #2 or #3 can figure out what's actually wrong with the machine.
"Too much work, can't be done here" he says. "we need to take it to the workshop".
Husband says sure, take it. "Oh but we don't have a car big enough to transport things in."

Wait a second, WHAT? You're telling me you're a maintenance dude for SAMSUNG which mostly makes large home appliances such as washing machines and refrigerators, and you drive around in what? A Morris Mini or a Toyota Corolla? Somebody tell me this is a joke right?
Nope.
They leave and say someone will call you tomorrow.

15th November
Big surprise! No news from Samsung! Husband gets upset and refers to Samsung customer service as "piece of crap". He calls them to schedule a pick up. Samsung Riyadh say next available appointment is following Monday. This is totally unacceptable after waiting two weeks already and especially after the unprofessional maintenance disservice. Husband demands to talk to manager. "No manager here sir". Husband asks to leave a message for the manager to call him on Saturday.
The smell of mold in the laundry room is getting stronger and stronger. Plumber arrives. Pours water in drains and also on the floors. Smell of mold the spreads to entire apartment.
Toddler is now down with a bad flu and vomiting all over the place.

17th November
Saturday rolls along.
Husband receives SMS from Samsung Saudi call center saying your appointment has been CANCELLED. Husband goes nuts. Is now referring to Samsung as "piece of s**t".
Calls Samsung, asking for maintenance manager. The employees at call center are all Saudi females with the same default replies:
"we don't have a maintenance manager, only a call center manager"
 "we can only reach the manager by email" 
"I will send the manager an email and he will get back to you"
So to reach these managers (all Saudis of course) who seem to enjoy the status similar to some sort of untouchable, unreachable mafia Godfathers, the call center ladies have to send emails. The Samsung Godfather then either gets back to you, or doesn't, depending on his mood or how busy he is with his other ahem, "businesses".

Later that day, the phone rings. Lo and behold, it's the SAMSUNG Godfather. He listens to my husbands complaints and promises to call back. The Godfather named Raed Al-Something NEVER calls back. He probably got busy smoking cigars or just didn't bother.
The toddler is very sick now, vomit and diarrhea is everywhere, no washing machine. Funtimes!

18th-21st November
Husband calls Samsung customer service call center everyday, over and over. Same monotonous replies from the call girls. No signs from Godfather.
Child is still sick.
Plumber arrives to "flush the drains". This time is met by crazy Finnish woman who tells him some facts about plumbing, drains, mold, moisture and health. After the Plumbing-101 quick course the plumber laughs in disbelief but does what the woman instructs him and opens the drain up. He tries to remove the mold and then pours Chlorox in the drains. The smell is gone.

21st November
Fed up and furious, husband goes to the Riyadh Samsung store maintenance manager Godfather in person on Wednesday morning. He is now referring to Samsung customer service as "piece of *#%#  s**t".
The Godfather, Mr. Raed Al-Hamaad is smoking in his office when husband enters. It is hard to see the Godfather from all the smoke in the room. He doesn't look up the entire time from the computer screen. I guess he was busy reading emails.

The same day around 2 pm someone calls saying he's on the way to pick the machine up. Really? Could this be it finally? Did the Godfather push some buttons?

The Samsung dude #4 asks for directions and husband explains the way to Diplomatic Quarters. The dude does not know where it is. The sucker gets lost and calls husband. They try to figure out where the dude #4 is but dude doesn't have a clue where he is. Husband spends the next hour on and off the phone trying to locate the hopeless case. He is Yemeni so his understanding of Arabic is not the problem.

It's 4 pm now and we do not know where he is nor does he know where he is. Husband asks the dude to stop somewhere and give the phone to someone around him. Dude does and then husband tells them this clueless dimwit needs to be sent into the DQ. Turns out he was right next to it.

A stubborn camel would've made it from the SAMSUNG store into DQ by this time.

Husband specifically instructs the sucker what to say at the gate and IF the security doesn't let him in, to STAY at the gate so husband can fetch him. It's now nearing 5pm and there's no sign of the dude, husband calls 15 times in a row before the dude picks up. He left. Went back to the store. AFTER 3 HOURS OF DRIVING AROUND YOU FINALLY FOUND IT AND THEN YOU LEFT? O-M-G.

Turns out the Godfather had not sent one of his official men but an Iqama-less random Yemeni dude to us. Husband is now referring to Samsung customer service as "%$#@ piece of *#%# s**t".

22nd November
Husband leaves to Samsung store to kill people but on the way there Mr Someone calls him says we are on the way. They actually come, make it inside the gate and have a big enough car to take the machine. "A few days", they say.
Newborn baby is now sick. Smell of mold still lingering in the house. Smelly laundry in the baskets and on the floors. Plumber says "you need a washing machine". You don't say??

24th November
Saturday rolls around again, husband calls and Samsung says tomorrow, inshallah. We've all heard that before. The next day it's still being fixed. Same thing the next day.

27th November
Without asking if anybody is actually home, the Samsung dude calls in the middle of the day and informs they're on their way to bring the machine back. 
Machine arrives and the dude starts checking if it works. I tell him we need to put laundry in it and wait the entire cycle to see if it works because the problem arises when it's full of water and clothes.
He doesn't get it and keeps pressing on the buttons. I try to explain again, this time speaking veeryy sloooowly. Now he thinks I don't understand how a washing machine works and starts explaining the process in full detail. I give up trying to explain and hope for the best.

Out of interest I ask him what caused the problem in the machine. He tells me it was.....wait for it...a MOUSE that had chewed up the wires in the machine. EXCUSE ME? A mouse ate my washing machine?

You're telling me a mouse entered my house? A house that's full of cats? Wouldn't they kill the mouse before it passed by all the delicious foods awaiting in the kitchen cupboards and made its way to the irresistible wire it was craving to chew on? Would it not leave droppings and some signs of itself?

Has anyone ever heard of a washing machine eating MOUSE before? I thought so. Do mice even live in Saudi-Arabia?

I felt so sorry for him for not coming up with a better excuse. It might have been more convincing had he blamed at least a gerbil because I had gerbils as pets when I was a kid and boy do they know how to chew things up. But a mouse? Get real dude. So DUMB. It's like when a seven year old comes to his parents saying "a mouse chewed up my homework".

I have a pretty good idea who "chewed up" that wire, Shamsung!

Well at least the machine seems to be working now and I don't know what we would've done without our amazing friends and neighbors who helped us do the laundry during this whole anguishing ordeal.

What words would you use to describe this service?

P.S.  If you like this post and think Blue Abaya should win the best Saudi expat blog title, then PLEASE vote for me here: http://www.expatsblog.com/blogs/566/blue-abaya
Thank you!

The Return Of The Saudi Post Chocolate Monster

There is no wrath like the one of a pregnant Finnish woman whose long awaited Finnish mega chocolate bar has been stolen by the Saudi postal guy. AGAIN. 
Don't attempt to steal chocolate from a pregnant woman. Ever.

Speaking of theft, stealing, dishonesty and greed..Check out American Bedu's post about the plagiarism scandal Sumayah Mehtar has created in the blogosphere: http://americanbedu.com/2012/09/07/american-bedu-plagiarized/

So my long awaited package from the online Finnish food store called Suomikauppa arrived today. Husband picked it up from the P.O BOX, since Saudi-Arabia hasn't arranged actual addresses for its citizens yet. Oh well it's only 2012 and such an advancement can't be anticipated for another 20+ years. I mean they don't even let women drive yet so why would they be so advanced to have physical addresses? That's just pure vanity! Is it a coincidence that the Saudi Postal services are responsible for both driving licenses and addresses? Hmm..

Now let me tell you how many times I have ordered from this online store. About like 100 times. Ok. How many times do you think I received the entire order? 0. Don't get me wrong, the customer service in the Suomikauppa is excellent. They know what the word service means. Unlike in Saudi-Arabia where people think service means "sit on your ass all day tapping on your iPhone ignoring anyone who speaks to you and only answer back in a rude tone showing as little interest as possible while maintaining eye contact with the mobile device only." oh and "never, under any circumstances answer the land-line phone".

My package was very much anticipated this time because:
A) it contained a large Finnish chocolate bar which I have been craving for a long time now. This is like the best chocolate in the word, no joke people.
B) it contained my favorite Finnish coffee. I tend to get very grumpy sometimes if I haven't had my caffeine fix. Also I'm pretty darn bored of drinking instant coffee which to me tastes more like boiled old dish water and should rather be called instant diuretic.
C) It was supposed to contain a surprise on behalf of the store rewarding my returning customer-ship.
D) I'm pregnant and craving this specific chocolate.

I had also ordered baby foods (yes I have to order some baby food all the way from Finland because it's healthy and organic and babies love the taste and nothing like it is available here because healthy baby food in Saudi equals chips and nuggets). I also had some special rice and rye oatmeal in there.

I bet Mr. Saudi Post Office Guy aka Mr. Ruthless Thief already recognizes this package when it comes to the office. He probably has his fingers itching to take it into the back room for "inspection". One time he was so thorough doing his inspection that he had sacrificed his safety and taken a bite or two out of the chocolate bar. He dutifully placed it back into the package though.

And what about that time when Mr. Chocolate Monster Maniac had to finish off the entire Fazer Blue chocolate bar, just to make sure no part of it contains liquor or, God forbid a hidden machine gun? His heartfelt dedication is admirable. I am still touched that he left the empty wrappers behind, like as a sign of his hard work and devotion.

This time some pretty committed guy had opened my package and as usual rummaged through it. As I went through the contents it became evident that both my chocolate AND coffee were missing. Un-friggin-believable. Worse yet, it looked like the "surprise" has been taken too since there is nothing extra in the parcel. I am guessing they sent candy of some sort but it wasn't mentioned in the list of contents.
I. Was. Fuming.
Why does he always go for the largest chocolate bar? Can't he for once take the salmiakki, you know the ammonium chloride??
And the healthy foods are all there again. Of course. Why would he consume anything healthy?

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

Does Saudi postal services employ starving people off the street who are forced to eat whatever edible they can find in the parcels? Are the employees told to actually taste stuff? Are employees indulging in expensive goods sent from around the world, perhaps taking small bits home to share with the wife? Do some of these employees have huge stashes of stolen goods at home? Is there anyone supervising this zoo? Are there surveillance cameras? Do they employ ex-convicts only? What is this place anyways?
Where is that machine gun!?

I wanted to storm into the post office right there and then to find the guilty parties. I would find him even if he was hiding under all the boxes munching on my delicious chocolate. Does he even know how to make filter coffee, huh? I bet not!! This was the last time I was going to just rant about it. Something needed to be done. My husband was not too keen on my idea, knowing that I might need to cool down a "bit" before entering the office. I insisted he take me there but it was already closed (lucky for them) so we have to wait until the next day.

In the meanwhile I went to their website in hopes of finding a way to make a complaint. Not a huge surprise this was not possible. I saw a customer service number, but ignored it, being so accustomed to government offices or any other businesses here who predominantly employ Saudis not picking up the phone. Then something must have clicked in my head (I'll blame it on the pregnancy brain which is lacking intelligent activity and possibly operating on two brain cells at the moment) because I changed my mind and called.

Lo and behold someone picked up after all the press this or that button stuff was over. They spoke English. That's not all folks. He actually tried to find out what happened.
He tracked the parcel and asked me did we sign when picking it up. I told him of course, isn't that the only way to receive it. Turns out if you already signed it, there's nothing they can do for you. Even if they go to the dude that mishandled your parcel, he can always say they took it, not me!

Ok this makes sense in a way. HOWEVER why is the customer not informed of this policy when he picks up the parcel? I have heard stories of everything under the sun (including Victoria's Secret panties) being stolen by Saudi Post officers. So why not have a system in place to try stop these violations? They should warn the customers to open it up at the office before signing just in case something has "disappeared into thin air". And then there should be a system where you can file a complaint of missing goods. And someone should actually follow that up. On top of that there should be consequences for the violators. But this is veeeeryyyyyy complicated and advanced. Can this kind of development be expected to happen in Saudi-Arabia any time soon?

This is what the chairman of the Saudi Post has to say:
"Over the ages of human civilization and history, civilization experts confirm that post has been an important component in attempting to identify the progress and prosperity of nations, as it is one of the engines of sustainable development of human societies in its different stages, and in the moral values of society, the postman is always one that we desire to come to our doors."

What does the Saudi Post tell us about the progress and prosperity of this nation? I don't need a civilization expert to figure that one out.

I would love to have the Saudi postman come to my door with my parcel next time. Oh ya I forgot we have no addresses. Until next time then when I personally open the parcel at the office..Watch out Mr. Chocolate Monster!