Friday, January 20, 2012

The Princess And The Pimple

Believe it or not, based on a true story..

Once upon a time in the Magic Kingdom lived a young Princess called "Abeer". She lived in a huge palace with her parents and had a Pink Hummer driven by her private chauffeur.

One morning Princess Abeer woke up and upon looking in the mirror screamed: "Noooo! Yaaa Allah this can't be happening to me! Tomorrow is Fatima's wedding party!"

A gigantic red pimple stared back at her form the mirror. Worse yet it was in the middle of her forehead. "I look like a freak! Yaa maamaa!" she shouted in panic as she ran downstairs into the palace courtyard to find her mother.

"Mother what shall I do now, look at me I am so ugly! Tomorrow I must look my best because Prince Mishaal's mother will be at the wedding to check me out! He won't propose if I look like a three-eyed monster!"

"Yaa Rabb, poor girl. Don't worry dear Beero, we will go to the hospital and tell them to give you some medicine for the pimple."

So the Princesses left to the emergency room with their maids in tow. In the car Princess Abeer instructed the driver "Yalla ya Munir I am in great pain! Drive faster! Remember to use the royal entrance to the hospital so we don't have to queue!"

On arrival at the ER the poor Princess was so weak she needed a wheelchair. The driver fetched the chair for her and they rushed her into the VIP section of the ER. A nurse and a royal officer immediately attended to the Princess and she was whisked past the overcrowded side of the ER full of  the ordinary patients.

The Princesses had both thrown the black scarves over their heads so that their true identity (and the protruding pimple) would remain hidden. The nurse apologized and told the them to wait because she was busy with a very ill baby in the other room. The Princess got extremely upset.

"Sister don't you know who I am?! I am Princess Abeer bint so and so bin so and so bin so and so bin AbdulAziz Al Saud. You must attend to me first!"
"But your Highness, the baby might die!"
"I don't care! This is an emergency situation! she exclaimed, sister get me the doctor NOW!"

The nurse ran off to fetch the doctor, she knew not to mess with the royal family members after some of her colleagues had been "dismissed" and sent on the next flight home after criticizing the VIP status of some patients. A Saudi male doctor specializing in royal medicine arrived to examine the royal patient and asked her to remove the veil. The Princess whimpered in pain and exhaustion as she lay on the bed and finally removed her scarf.

Her mother with a stern voice advised the doctor: "Doctor we have imboortant event tomorrow and Abeer needs to be a beerfect condition. Blease doctor we need a medicine." "And I'm in pain!" the Princess added.

The doctor looked at the pimple for a moment and then gave his orders to the nurse: "Take her vitals, do blood tests, insert IV line and start her on intravenous Ceftriaxone. Give Pethidine 100 mg I.V. Apply Bacitracin ointment on the pimple Q.I.D.
"Don't worry your Highness we have it under control. The antibiotics will take care of the infection in no time and you will receive a pain killer now."
"Thank you doctor! Now sister, call the kitchen we want to order some food!"

The nurse went off to follow the doctors orders shaking her head in disbelief of such vanity and the unnecessary medical interventions. The VIP kitchen staff arrived at bedside to take their order. "Freshly squeezed orange juice, chicken burgers, fries..oh and cupcakes and kahwa please! Yalla besurah!" the young princess instructed.

The nurse returned to insert the I.V. line and the Princess shuddered. "Please sister I want the cream first!"
"But it's only for children your Highness and it won't hurt really, I will be very quick." "No, mama I want the cream!" "Sister, blease ze cream now." the mother Princess confirmed nodding her head.

The nurse applied the numbing cream to the princesses hand. "Sister blease, put ebra here so tomorrow mafi mushkila at wedding" the mother demanded. "But your Highness, placing the cannula high on her arm on the inner side will cause her great pain and it is not per policy either." "What is zis bolicy sister? Yalla but ebra now sister!" the mother Princess looked annoyed so the nurse forgot about reasoning and proceeded.

Despite the cream she screamed in pain from the injection. "Shweia shweia sister, shweia shweia!" The mother disapprovingly clucked her tongue. The nurse then proceeded to apply the antibiotic cream on the pimple. "Shweia shweia sister!" Cluck cluck cluck.

Finally the antibiotics were hooked and the Princess dozed off from her narcotic painkiller. She and mother princess spend the night in the ER on I.V fluids watching movies from the flat screen TV and calling the nurse to run different errands for her throughout the night. The maids massaged their feet.

In the morning the doctor came to check the patient. "Your highness the infection is improving. We can discharge you but continue your antibiotics at home for a week and keep applying the cream."

The pimple had indeed disappeared over night. "Thank you doctor! Sister, we want leave now so remove ze ebra and give us a medicine, besurah besurah!"
Upon leaving the hospital the mother Princess made a complaint of the nurses rude behavior to the Patient Relations Officer.

The Princesses returned to the castle and all was well in the Magic Kingdom.

And the Princess lived happily ever after, without the pimple.

Read more about how VIP patients get treated in Saudi hospitals:

Ebra= Needle
Mafi mushkila=no problem
Sister=what all Saudi patients call nurses
Shweia=little, carefully
Pethidine=Extremely addictive narcotic painkiller
bint/bin=daughter/son of


Karen said...

That's just... wow. What a spoiled rotten brat. I'd have my daughter's forehead tattooed if she behaved like that.

Fruitful Fusion said...

Aaaaaaggggghhhhhh!!! That's all I can say to this! :)

Anonymous said...

A very nice story!

Shimshim said...

I love the way you wrote this story, I love the dry humour and I can picture it happening. It's not a one off either is it? I am sure you get tons of these kinds of "patients" who need medical assistance whilst some other poor sod is probably dying. It's just too crazy.

Anonymous said...

The magic kingdom? I would say probably bewitched.

Lavender © said...

LSHCCOMNAIWEDA!!! hahahaha!!!

Anonymous said...

Loved it !
I love the way you write and out the words together :)

Anonymous said...

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! i have not words otherwise i would curse.
It sickening to think of how many times that happens and how many innocent in-need patients there are left waiting with REAL serious conditions while the princesses and princes of saudi arabia cheat the system. ARRRRRRRR I WISH I COULD HAVE SLAPPED THE PIMPLE OFF THAT PRINCESSES FACE lol.

Azizah Umm Muhammad said...

Asalamualaikum Wa Rahmantuallahi wa Barakatu Laylah,
Hi ukti, my name is Azizah. I am German, Austrian, and African American. I am an LPN nurse looking to make hijrah with my dh and children to Saudi in 2012, Insha Allah. I am married and have four children ages 15 to 3. I am a pediatric and geriatric nurse. I am starting my RN degree on line with excelsior this month, Insha Allah. With this program, I am able to study on my own and take my exams at Pearson VUE here in America and in Riyadh. I do not see any LPN positions in Saudi on line. So I'm thinking that they don't even recognize LPNs there. Would I be able to get a job doing anything medical until I receive my RN? Can you please help me sister and lead me in the right direction with this, Insha Allah. Shukran
Jazakulla Khairun,
Azizah Umm Muhammad

Layla said...

Shimshim-you're right it's not an isolated case, but it has got to be one of the most extreme cases of obnoxious behavior. Most royal patients know how to behave :)
These sort of demands can be found coming from the "ordinary" patients as well.

Thanks all for the comments!

Layla said...

Aziza-salaam aleikum, thanks for contacting me. Regarding your question, they do have something called SN2 position here. So the RN's are doing SNI and the SNII would be the closest equivalent to the LPN.
Hope this helps.

NAWAL said...

very well explained keeping all the dramatic action n mind good job... do stop by my blog sumtym plz :)

Anonymous said...

Lol, thanks for the post laylah. A good one. Is this really a true story?


Layla said...

Sireh-more or less yes but a little bit "dramatized" and names changed of course.

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Dentographer said...

is it even medically possible to do that? i didnt know!
i really dont know what to say or think,who to blame? i mean…

i am glad,so so glad,that i am not working in that hospital.
effin corrupts.

Layla said...

Dentographer- they would most likely demand that you do these things too, unfortunately it's the policy of the hospital to put VIP first :/

Ayaate said...

loooooooooool what a drama QUEEN!

Anonymous said...

Being an expat doctor working in a similar environment I can totally relate to this somewhat true story- only that in the case I know of the doctor was not only reprimanded, but put on probation and relocated for not interrupting his consultation with another patient to attend to the maid of a high official...

I started reading your blog just yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed every bit that I have read so far! :)


Pearl said...

Assalamu alaikum. What happened to the poor baby? Miskeen.
I can't imagine giving IV antibiotics for one pimple!!! and IM Pethidine on top of that!!

Layla said...

Pearl-I'm not sure what happened in the end but the baby was in a very poor condition when brought in.

Anonymous said...

hahahha - is this for real???

Anonymous said...

Well written Laylah! You are a very talented writer :)

Anonymous said...

I can't stop laughing. Has this princess bitch ever heard of thing thing called CONCEALER?

Anonymous said...

If it's for real, the human race is doomed.

Anonymous said...

You do realize that most Saudi princesses don't even wear a hijab? The second they're out of Saudi Arabia they parade around in mini skirts and tank tops. Saudi Arabian royals are fake. They don't care about Islam. They use it to control people. None of their children even wear hijabs. Look at the Saudi Royals in London, Monaco, Paris, New York and Italy. None of them EVER wear hijabs, all they wear is tank tops and short shorts. They're all fake.

Anonymous said...

layla i wish more of the females in saudi arabia were pretty much interactive like u...dont take it in the wrong sense interactive as in "fun,joking around and cool".....ur blogs really cool where u can post different experiences and stuff...i've got a lot 2 share over here...

Unknown said...

I heard a lot of horror stories from my female colleagues in female ward. Nurses are going to heaven, the heaven is watching us.

Asia said...

awww...Ain't she a poor baby? (written in a very sarcastic way possible. lol) One of the best fairy tale I've ever read. I thought Cinderella's stepsisters are the worst, then I came to Saudi Arabia. If I am her fairy god mother, poof! -she'll have the pimple as large as a pumpkin Cinderella rode into, in no time! lol