Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Tuesday Ten From Saudi-Charities and Rain

What a busy week it's been! I really don't understand how the time flies like this. I thought I just posted the previous Tuesday Ten yesterday! I didn't even manage to post this on time but better late than never..
Mom is leaving in a few days and we've been running around Riyadh trying to get as many things done as possible. Looking for souvenirs all over Riyadh and we went to Diira souq to find the best ones. It seems to be almost impossible to find nice post cards from Saudi-Arabia. The hotels do have some but many look out dated and the places pictured are not even that nice. I guess people just don't send postcards anymore.

Last Wednesday we went to Intercontinental hotel for lunch by the pool, the weather was perfect! The pool rules say "women are not allowed to sit around the pool". Pretty annoying, why not even allowed to sit?  What is the harm of women sitting around the pool enjoying the nice weather and having coffee. It's an international hotel environment and this should be perfectly fine. Only men are allowed to enjoy  swimming, of course. Notice the UFO hat landed in the background which his the ministry of Interior building.
The SHOP&DROP winter campaign is ongoing at Harvey Nichols until Dec 4th. You can donate winter clothes and they distribute them to the needy families around Riyadh. Our clothes were put in the container by some really sweet volunteering Saudi girls. And yes there are that poor people in Saudi so if you're in Riyadh or Jeddah go participate! The campaign is run by Sawa'ed Atheeb check their site here: http://www.atheebsd.org/english/biography.php?p=4&f=_3
This is actually the old baby swing from my childhood. My daughter loved it so much last the summer, we brought it to Saudi because they don't sell anything like this here. The kitten enjoys it too!
We went to Ha'ir and Riyadh river area to walk around.  Such lovely green scenery and flowers everywhere.  The date palms had new dates in them. Listening to the Birds singing and just the sound of the water flowing and the wind softly blowing in the trees makes my mind at peace.
The Riyadh river flows through Wadi Hanifa which is a very long lush valley full of agriculture and date farms in particular. There's even fish in the river and many expats go there fishing on the weekends.
Lots of pink stuff on sale at the Walk For Cure breast cancer awareness event. I got the hair clips and a small bracelet, mom bought a medicine box and some ribbons for her sisters, who have been diagnosed recently with breast cancer.
We had an amazing Thanksgiving dinner at our friends house!
Mom is trying to purchase all her souvenirs this week. Here we are testing out some bokhoor. It's pieces of special kind of dried wood that smell really good when you burn it slowly on a special kind of burner. This particular piece cost around 1500 SAR!
An evening walk around the neighborhood, we found some villas for sale open for people to walk in for viewing. Mom's thoughts were it being as living in a jail with those high walls, bars on windows and such a small harsh yard.
We found this flower on sale at IKEA in Finnish it's called a Christmas Star! The vase is from a trip to Jordan.
And finally this Tuesday, schools in Saudi were closed because it rained. From this picture you can maybe guess why.

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Walk For Cure-Saudi Style

The Walk for Cure-a walkathon for Breast Cancer Awareness was arranged this Thursday in Riyadh at the Kingdom school. The concept of a walkathon for supporting breast cancer awareness comes from the U.S where numerous such walks have been organized.

I was really looking forward to this event as I'm always eager to promote women's rights and issues and curious to see how it had been arranged by the group of local women. I was anticipating a pleasant and relaxing afternoon and getting some high quality pics to share with the world but it turned out something totally different.

When I arrived at the event with my mom the honest, obsessive-compulsively rule-following inner-Finn in me whispered into in my ears, "you should ask permission" "you must obey the rules". I tried to fight saying chillax, it's Saudi, honesty and going by the rules don't always go down like that. But the inner-Finn won the battle and I approached the people involved in arranging the event. BIG MISTAKE, huge.

Naturally I'm aware of how some Saudi women feel about photos, especially in women only events. However, having attended many such events, I knew women often took pictures with their iPhones and small compact cameras without any disturbance from on-lookers. I always thought Saudis thought images taken with anything other than a so called professional camera were in fact, not images at all.

I told the women involved in organizing the event that I would like to take some pics to promote the event and spread the message. I underlined the fact that I would just shoot places and things, not women. I mentioned I work with an agency that sells photos to various international media about interesting events in the Middle-East, and this would be a great chance to promote their event.

The woman I talked to started the blah blah blah of how Saudi women feel about photography. I stressed I would not shoot women.
I was told they already have volunteer photographers there and they could send me the pics.
So photography is going on at the event. Wait, didn't you just say the women were so bothered by it? She wondered why they hadn't confiscated my camera at the door.

I told this person I obviously can't send other peoples pics to the agency as my own.
I think I'm a pretty decent photographer, so I asked can I be one of those volunteers and share all my pics with them?
Again, no. We already have seven.

Really, seven? So you have photographers in every corner taking pictures here, why can't I do it too? Because of how some women feel, apparently. Well I'm sorry but those women just need to get over themselves. I am not going to shoot you in your pink jumpsuit or show your heavily make-uped faces and huge hairdos. As if I have no respect and dignity. I'm here for the important cause and wish to promote it. Not to violate faces.

I mentioned to this person how I wanted to at least just shoot the floating lanterns. No, it's not allowed.
Come on it's LANTERNS not women. Geez. I had envisioned an image of hands simultaneously lifting the floating Chinese lanterns into the sky, maybe having a slow shutter speed to make it look a little hazy to capture the movement. But I should have known better.

It's just beyond me why the organizers didn't want to promote their event and the cause as much as possible worldwide. This indifference is the typical Saudi attitude for anything remotely interesting, it seems.

I bet it would do a lot of good for foreigners to see that such events do go on in Saudi, and best yet, the event is arranged by Saudi women. So it would spread a positive picture of Saudi women as doers and makers and also of Saudi in general, in addition to the actual event.

No but let's just keep to the bleak, joyless, confined image of Saudi women's life the rest of the world has. Why show anything positive?

I was pretty annoyed at this point. I tried to stay positive anyway and enjoy the event.

So we went in the hall where they had a few booths selling some pink items and then other educational ones teaching women about breast cancer. We bought some things and took brochures. The best booth by far was the U.S embassy health services booth. They had some rubber breasts you could palpate and try to detect the tumors.

I had already noticed Saudis and women of various other nationalities snapping away with all sorts of capturing devices that don't produce real images. Oh look it's me and the flower arrangement. Snap. Or look I bought this pink hairband! Snap. No one seemed to care. My annoyance grew but I kept my camera confined because the uber-honest inner-Finn still had the power over me.

Here is an example of a non-image. You can't actually see it, because it's been taken with an iPhone, but I swear I uploaded it and its right below this text. It shows the ambassadors wife wearing a really cool knitted pink scarf. "Photo" credit goes to Zaki Safar, founder of Saudi Men for Women Driving, whose sister actually made that lovely scarf. Thanks for letting me use the non-image!Check out his excellent blog on Saudi women's rights http://zakisafar.com/

At the U.S embassy booth my irritation levels topped off when I saw a large group of women start taking group pictures. Saudi women were around. Again, nobody really cared, or at least said anything. I kept my camera in my bag but my fingers were burning to take it out.

After a few minutes the U.S ambassador's wife came to join them and the joyful photo shoot session continued. My irritation grew to the point I felt if I was a teapot my lid would fly in the air because of the steam in my head. Mom was pretty annoyed by all this too. She knew that I was missing a great job opportunity as well as the this whole no photos thing was turning out to be a complete joke.

We spent a few minutes talking to the embassy people, they were so nice and professional. Then something just clicked (not my camera, but perhaps the honest inner-Finn fainted from all the rule breaking going on) and I thought to myself why not just shoot a few photos here? So I asked the women and they agreed. The photo is not even that great because I was scared to use a flash in fear of being exposed and then jumped on by Saudi anti-camera activists, plus I had my wide angle lens on which distorted the photo a bit.

Luckily, no assaults occurred and my confidence grew a bit. I had stopped hearing my inner-Finn ranting about obeying rules and had started to feel more Saudi. So we went outside to sit on the nice chairs there and I walked to the end where there was no people. Like a criminal, I crept behind the chairs taking some pics of the flowers. I felt ridiculous. Seriously, people like I was committing the biggest crime. Those pics turned out acceptable.

Mom was too tired and freezing (unacceptable for a Finnish woman used to swimming in frozen lakes without sauna) to take the actual walk so we stayed behind as the women left. Again, I had envisioned how I would portray the actual walk without face violations. I wanted to capture the feet of a large group of the women walking, again capturing the motion and the different colors of shoes. But that was just wishful thinking.

I did have one picture opportunity of the walk as I watched the women far away pass a "Think Pink" sign. I focused with my mega zoom onto the sign and the women walking past behind the fence remained unrecognizable blurry figures. My heart was pounding. I felt like a sniper.

Since most women were walking I took my chance to go back in and took a few pics of the items on sale with my iPhone. I won't post them on here because you would not be able to see them anyways.

I came back to the table to find this scene: One annoyed and freezing mother, pink flowers and women walking in the background. So I thought it's time to take a break.
We went home which was in the neighborhood to breastfeed my baby, the plan being to return at 7 for the much awaited event, the launching of the Chinese floating lanterns. I had been looking forward to it the whole week so I was pretty excited.

I had set my goal to take that awesome lantern pic I had dreamed of. Nothing was going to stop me. Not even that enormous black clad security ninja. I knew everyone was going to want to capture that moment anyway with their non-camera capturing devices. But here's a pic of the clouds turning pink as if someone from above is sending a sign of support :)
We returned a little before seven, in accordance to what the woman responsible for the event programme had told us, only to realize the whole event was already finished. WTH? I wanted to take my STC freebie stress ball out and squeeze the life out of it. I felt temped to confront this "expert". I could not believe they had told us the wrong time. How unprofessional and above all annoying, which went well with the theme of the day.

No floating lanterns for us. I bet it was beautiful though.

Note to self: Next time mute the honest inner-Finn and act more Saudi.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Tuesday Ten From Saudi-Edge of the World and more

I cannot believe how fast this past week went! Actually where did it go? I realized we only have two weeks left with mom staying with us in Riyadh. Times passes too fast when you're having fun!

This week I met up with some ladies and their kids in Riyadh, all non-Saudis married to Saudis. Among them were some fellow bloggers so it was extra interesting and what a lovely evening it was! I met Tara Umm Omar, the owner of Future Husbands and Wives of Saudis, American Girl from Undertheabaya blog and Umm Lujain author of Ramblings of a Saudi wife, all amazing, beautiful women I was so impressed! Check out their blogs too!

Last weekend we went to a place called the Edge of the World which is located about 70km outside Riyadh. It's a beautiful place I've gone to many times but this time was to show the place to my mom and she was really impressed. On the way we stopped to take pics of some camels. Directions and a complete guide to the Edge of the world can be found in this post click here.
This is the escarpment which is about 500miles long. The "Edge" is the cliff seen here in the far left.
It takes effort to reach it but the views are worth it. Despite the really hazy sky and a sandstorm blowing in the area, the view was stunning.
We were taking a walk in the DQ and I always thought this building looked like a spaceship and wanted to take a pic, but the guards would always forbid photographing it. This time the security officer laughed and just said ok, but please quickly so police won't see you!
We had some Arab guests over and we served them some Finnish foods. Typical Finnish desserts are these blueberry-raspberry pie and cinnamon rolls called "pulla". I had pearl sugar and rye flour from Finland to make them as original as possible. For the recipe I use to make the Finnish cinnamon rolls check out this post: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2012/08/finnish-cinnamon-rolls-korvapuustit.html
We also served the guests Saudi "wine" called JEW.Non-alcoholic of course.
Mom and my baby are relaxing at the lounge of Yibreen spa we went to have pedicures at.
At the mall we saw these arabic style dresses which my mom likes, but to me these look more Cruella Deville-style. I like wearing jalabiya at home sometimes, they are very comfortable and do also come in more simple designs! Check out the one in the far back it has even a collar the same as the evil cartoon character!
It rained this morning and this is the evidence, a few dots on the dusty table in the balcony. Note that the amount of dust came from just one day, which is typical to Riyadh. It's pretty frustrating to clean the dust everyday because it doesn't help to actually spray water form the hose on it, but needs always a thorough wipe to remove this nasty stuff! The lanterns are actually lamps from IKEA which never worked so I just removed the lightbulbs and put a candle in there.Looks pretty nice :)
So this week my daughter has been doing well with her potty training and she's just over 6 months old. Here she is reading a ducky-book while sitting on her ducky-potty while one of our cats is supervising. Kind of cute I thought.
Until next week!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Sharing Husbands is Caring!

Polygamy, the topic that always sparks up a heated discussion. Most non-Muslim women will find the idea of multiple wives appalling and unfair among millions of other things. Some Muslim ladies might feel somewhat the same, or would never want it for themselves and rather have a divorce. There are those who remain neutral and hope their husbands will not marry another, but won't ask for a divorce if they do. And on the other hand we have women who are defenders and spokes-persons for polygamy.

This might come as a surprise for many. I certainly never thought I would come across a Muslim woman who speaks FOR polygamy. I imagined all women would kind of stick to defending women's rights and not men's rights. But I was wrong. Sadly there's always women who think of men's feelings and needs as superior to women's.

These polygamy-activists make co-wifery sound like a walk in the park. A pleasant, calm and enjoyable experience. But how come all of the polygamous marriages I heard/know about are nothing like that? I would rather describe them as roller-coaster rides or even as life on a deserted island. In most cases, polygamy makes the lives of the women and children miserable. The husband is the one walking in the different parks.
Personally I don't understand women who think they must advertise polygamy. Sure, Islam allows it under certain conditions, but that does not mean it encourages it. Some very few women might of course want to be in a polygamous marriage even going as far as suggesting it to the husband or helping to find the second, third or fourth wife. Voluntary polygamous marriages where all parties live happily do exist, but they are extremely rare.

Polygamy is not for all couples and not every Muslim woman has to accept it as part of their own lives. The fact of the matter is polygamy breaks most marriages and traumatizes children affected by it. Defending men's rights to take second wives on a whim or for sexual pleasure and saying women should just suffer for the sake of Allah and pray they become better wives is just strange and even offensive coming from a woman's mouth.

It's not a Muslim woman's duty to accept being a co-wife. Women are different. Most cannot handle being a co-wife, and that's perfectly normal and human. I think acknowledging that is important. Thinking this way should not be made a shameful thing. That is one of the issues I have with pro-polygamists. They tend to think women who deny their husbands polygamy are MAJOR SINNERS.


Polygamy fanatics like to raise themselves above other Muslim sisters by saying things like "how dare she have the audacity to deny her husband his God given rights". They say stuff like "Allah gave men a much stronger drive than women and to help keep him from committing sins He gave him the right to more than one spouse" or  best yet "none of us truly believes until we want for our sisters what we want for ourselves, and that includes sharing a good husband with someone who has not yet found one".


Seriously? If you TRULY believe, the only way to show it is to share your husband, especially the good ones.


Sharing is caring!


The way polygamy is practiced in Saudi-Arabia today is just light years away from what it was back in the times of the Prophet Mohammed. The justification of sexual pleasure is not mentioned anywhere in the Quran, yet it remains one of the most repeated slogans from pro-polygamists. When speaking of polygamy, it should be considered how, where and why the verse was actually revealed.


The verse in the Quran was revealed after the battle of Uhud which left hundreds of orphans and widows behind "If you fear that you will not be just/equitable to the orphans, then marry as permissible for you, women, two, three or four. But if you fear you will not be just/equitable, then one or to whom you are committed to by oath. That is better so that you do not deviate from the right course". 4:3

To me considering the background, this reads: If you're a man and there happens to be a situation where there are much more women than men following massive loss from battles resulting in many orphans in need of a providing parent, then to solve this problem, and in this case only, you are allowed to marry up to four women from the mothers of those orphans in order to help them, but you must be financially, physically and emotionally equipped to treat them equally, and in order to be just to all, you must ask the first wife's permission to do so, otherwise stick to just one wife which is better for you.
How can a man be just in his treatment anyway if he doesn't get approval from the first wife? If she is against the idea, he is not treating her justly. Marrying another wife against her wishes results in one wife feeling betrayal and anger and thus getting unfair and unequal treatment. So from the start a man that marries behind the wife's back or contrary to her wishes has gone against what the verse states as a clear condition to plural marriage.

Speaking about fairness and justice, I think this verse from the Quran "You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire,.. 4:129 sort of hits the nail on the coffin for pro-polygamy speeches.


If  according to the Quran, no man will EVER be able to do perfect justice with his wives, in addition to just treatment being the condition to taking multiple wives, then to me that either implies polygamy is HIGHLY discouraged (but still permissible) or downright not to be messed with.


Despite these facts, polygamy activists have a mind of their own. They like to pull out the "sex drive"-card. Those poor men have such strong urges, they NEED more than one wife to get satisfied and not to go searching for prostitutes. And the first wife MUST accept and understand this. To me this is just disgusting. First of all, is that what the consequent wives are for, only to act as sex toys to the poor husbands? Is this how highly some women think of other women? 


What about those poor women that have much stronger sex drives than their husbands? What is their solution? Why do some women condescend to viewing men as some sort of sexual predators that only think of sex? As if men are not capable of controlling themselves whatsoever. What about women? How can they control their desires? As if women don't have any desires whatsoever.


Another excuse I hear from polygamy defenders in Saudi is that there's just so much more women than men here, it makes taking more wives in fact, charity. It is simply a noble act. Just think of all those unmarried women out there! Anxiously waiting at home, twiddling their thumbs and dreaming of becoming third wives to 60-year old men with 25 kids.
To those people I would like to show these latest statistics.
CIA fact book from Saudi-Arabia:
0-14 years: 29.4% (male 3,939,377/female 3,754,020)
15-64 years: 67.6% (male 9,980,253/female 7,685,328)
65 years and over: 3% (male 404,269/female 368,456) (2011 est).

So in fact, there are 2,294,925 MILLION more men than women of "marriageable" age in Saudi-Arabia.
Wait, doesn't this, according to that same reasoning mean that Saudis should start practicing polyandry instead of polygyny?Hmm..What about all those poor mister spinsters, who will marry them??

"One of His signs is that He created for you spouses like your selves so that you may live with them with affection and mercy - there are signs in this for people who reflect". (Qur'an 30:21)


I wish some women would reflect and stop speaking for men's rights over women's. It's a woman's right to choose whether or not they want to be in a polygamous marriage.
It's a mans world already, don't make it worse.


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tuesday Ten From Saudi-Road Trip

Last week I skipped posting a Tuesday Ten because I was on a week long road trip around Saudi-Arabia. Our journey was awesome, surprising and eventful. Promise to post about it very soon with pictures from the most amazing places I never thought existed in the Magic Kingdom. For the Saudi Road Trip Part One from Riyadh to Abha post go here: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2012/02/saudi-road-trip-part-one-riyadh-abha.html

So here is ten things from Saudi-Arabia life the past week..

En route on our road trip my daughter met her great-great grandmother in this small village south of Riyadh.It was an amazing experience to get in touch with relatives from many generations away. I could never imagine anyone in Finland having this chance but in Saudi people married early (she was married at 14) and had lots of children so that is how it's even possible.
It was Eid Al Adha time in Saudi and we saw LOTS of sheep on their way to Saudi families dinner tables. This also meant more traffic on the roads.
We bought five jars of delicious honey in the Abha mountains from this friendly  Saudi man who told us the honey had been harvested in the Yemeni mountains. It was so delicious!
Pink houses are very popular in Abha and Gizan, I really don't understand why this particluar color is so common. I've never seen so many pink houses and villas and all sorts of buildings anywhere around the world before. I think it's funny so many Saudi men actually live in "princess pink" houses! Read my post about the popularity on pink color (especially among men) in Saudi-Arabia here: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-see-pink-people.html
I LOVE seashells! Another thing I collect from around the world. My house has LOTS of seashells as decorations all over, and also sand from around the world.
Most of the beaches on main Island of Farasan are ruined with trash! I was so saddened and disappointed to see even the one of the islands upscale hotel, the Farasan Coral resort was ridden with litter! Huge change from last visit in 2008 and big disappointment. To read more about trash and littering problem in Saudi-Arabia read this post: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2012/01/recycling-saudi-values.html
These women were giggling and pointing at me following me around and acting really immature and rude. They started taking my picture with cameras and cellphones, which I don't have a problem with per se, but I do when people are openly making fun of me. So I whopped out my BIG camera and started taking their picture, they turned around and got upset. Sheesh.
Back in Riyadh this week at Dirah souq they were selling these huge rings with a container on them, for what we asked? Apparently drugs like hashis LOL I think the salesman might have made that up to make them seem more exotic or something.
This is the first all blue abaya I have found on sale in Riyadh at this very same souk. I didn't like the design of the abaya that much so I didn't buy it.
My baby has been under the weather this week and that's another reason I haven't had time to post. She felt a little better and we took a walk around the Diplomatic Quarter parks. She loves to look at the fountains there and it seemed to cheer her up. The weather was perfect for a picnic this time of the year in the Kingdom the weather is so lovely and pleasant not too hot or cold yet. We are expecting the winter rains to start soon though and that should make everything look more green and more flowers will start blooming soon.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Children Are Treasures Not Airbags!

Dear parents in Saudi-Arabia,

I've noticed that many of you don't care too much about the safety of your children in the cars.

I have always wondered how you can have this nonchalant attitude whilst driving among the most insane, irresponsible, reckless maniacs drivers in the world?

You love and cherish your children so dearly, yet you place them under such danger by not securing them in seat belts and car seats!
Don't you wish to keep them safe in the crazy traffic of Saudi-Arabia? Did you know that Saudi Arabia's roads are the world's most dangerous ones? A person is killed on them every 90 minutes. A fifth of them are children under 12 years old.
The next one could be your child. Think about it.

Would you let your child run around on a highway, or play in a busy parking lot? I didn't think so.
So why do you let your child jump around in your speeding car? Don't you think its dangerous to let him hang out of the windows? How about having him sit between yourself and the steering wheel? Some people make fun of your careless attitude and say you are using your baby as an Airbag.

Fathers, do you think because you are such great drivers nothing will ever happen to you? Think again.
Do you realize how many children are out there actually driving the cars?
Have you thought about how many road hooligans there are in the streets chasing women and causing accidents?
There is nothing your excellent driving skills can do to prevent accidents caused by other peoples reckless driving habits.

You might think you don't need a car seat or seat belts because Allah will protect your family. It's time to re-think this.
Children are treasures given to you by the grace of God. He has put them under your care. It is your responsibility to protect your child from any harm that you possibly can. God trusts you, are you worth His trust? Parents will be held accountable for this trust on the Day of Judgement.

You wouldn't let your child go in a lions cage at the zoo and just think Allah will protect your child. That would be careless and irresponsible. Just like having your child in your lap while driving. Or allowing her to stand out of the sunroof while speeding on the highway. Equally irresponsible and dumb as placing your child in that cage. Think about it.

In case of an accident, your precious infant will fly out of your lap like a football, no matter how hard you hold on to him. It's proven to be impossible to hold on to a child in case of collision.

Did you know that car seats and seat belts save lives? According to various studies they can cut the risk of infant fatalities by up to 80%.  The tools to help parents protect their child the best way possible are out there. Fulfill your parental responsibility and secure your child into them!

You probably heard the Hadith about the Bedouin that left his camel untied. The Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) said to him: "Be wise [first] and tie your camel, then trust in Allah."


Wouldn't this same golden advice also apply to the most valuable of possessions, your child?
Be wise and tie up your baby in a car seat! 
The rest is up to Allah.


Tips on what kind of car seat to get, instructions how to use them and statistics on child car safety:
http://www.carseatsite.com/FAQ.htm
http://www.safekids.org/safety-basics/babies/on-the-way/carseat-safety-for-babies.html
http://autocollisionsspecialist.homestead.com/untitled2.html
http://www.cdc.gov/features/passengersafety/


This video clip should be watched by all parents: