Showing posts with label intercultural relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label intercultural relationships. Show all posts

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Exotic Paradox: Expats Blog In Saudi Arabia

The following is an excerpt from an article published in Newsline November 2012 issue. Journalist Naima Rashid writes about the three most popular expat blogs written by foreign wives to Saudis; American Bedu, Susie of Arabia and Blue Abaya. She talks about what all these blogs have in common, and how they offer a unique perspective and window into the Saudi culture.The entire article can be read on Newsline and for Blue Abaya readers here's a extract of the article and the Blue Abaya part itself.

Exotic paradox: Expats Blog in Saudi Arabia

"For several reasons, the Saudi culture is impenetrable to the outsider. An almost sacred guardianship of private space makes access to it pretty near impossible. A large part of life in Saudi Arabia takes place indoors or in metaphorical ‘chambers’ accessible only to insiders. "

"A curious axis around which are clustered three of the most interesting blogs is matrimony. Foreign wives married to Saudis have long held the banner high for cultural chronicling in the form of blogs. Their initiative created a niche in a territory that was virgin when they started, but which has since thrived. The best known among them come from cultures diametrically opposed to the Saudi culture,  namely American and Finnish. "

"These blogs go by names seeped in a charge of orientalism that comes from juxtaposing evocations of opposite cultures and to some extent, a sense of free-spiritedness and rebellion (‘American Bedu’, ‘Susie’s Big Adventure: An American woman moves to Saudi Arabia’, ‘Blue Abbaya: A Scandinavian Princess in the Magic Kingdom’). "
"...the authors, coming from Western cultures and a background in Western education, bring a natural ease of expression, documentary zest, outspokenness and an analytical bent of mind to bear upon the superset of their experiences in Saudi Arabia. Being married to Saudis, they have a direct canal to the culture they are tackling through the deep end – direct immersion. Where their clarity of observation, their willing embrace of a foreign culture, and the amusing contrasts between an Eastern and a Western culture meet, a thing of great value and beauty is created."

 "The third blog in the trio is called Blue Abbaya. Much younger than the other two, Laylah, in her early thirties,  is a Finnish nurse married to a Saudi, living in Riyadh and blogging since 2009. Susie and Carol have openly divulged their identity, but Laylah blogs with more discretion, and while her blog is all about Saudi culture through the prism of her personal experiences, she doesn’t always divulge her personal coordinates as openly."

"Her blog has a more distinct character than the other two, and her writing, detailed and diary-like. She has a very strong personality that comes across quite forcefully in her writings – witty, unforgiving in her sarcasm, sharp in her observations but aggressively positive in her conclusions. Between her spirit of forward motion, and her signature bite is the spice that marks her writing."

"Reading her blog, one traverses two regions equally mysterious to many – Finland and Saudi Arabia, and her blog pierces the mystery of both lands to offer us a window into both cultures through the eyes of somebody who embodies them both to some extent.

After surviving the tragic-comical challenge of a wedding à la Saoudienne, it’s been a mildly bumpy ride, to say the least, but her Finnish hardiness has helped her keep her feet firmly on the ground. Some unavoidable, amusing and enlightening comparisons between the Finnish and the Saudi way of life, whether they emerged unconsciously as survival tactics, or as a conscious reflection about the cultural polarity she embodies, make for some delightful traipsing for the culture vulture. 

Scandinavian ice and deserts of Arabia are physical reliefs, but like all environment, they become landscapes of the mind at some point. In ‘Blue Abbaya’, blue is the colour of the Finnish sky, and the abbaya is a cultural norm of Saudi Arabia. In its name and its nature, the blog is defined by the richly opposed but co-existing worlds that the author is part of, and the best and worst of which peppers her real and virtual space."


"In one post that went on to become a hot favourite, Laylah is choosing her make-up style for a wedding. Before she concludes upon an understated European look, she runs her readers through some popular make-up styles, naming each one with her characteristic sly wit. The list includes the poison-ivy look, the Herpes look, the raccoon look, the peacock look, the angry owl look, the Boy George look, the spider look and last but not the least, the measles look!

As a general rule, nurses are great people to gossip with in Saudi Arabia. The nature of their work and the sheer range of exposure across all social classes that they have access to in the course of a working day make them great story-tellers. Perhaps, the best stories they have to narrate are those relating to royalty and its pomp and decorum  as they have witnessed in the corridors of the VIP wings in hospitals.

 Some of Laylah’s most delicious anecdotes are about royalty and set in the King Faisal Hospital, Riyadh, where she works. ‘The Princess and the Pimple’ is a tale about a spoilt princess who wakes up one morning with a pimple on her face and throws a tantrum, as a result, her pimple is treated with more protocol than other human lives. 

The Royal Morgue’ is an unforgettable Chekhovian sketch of what happens when a member of the royal family is deceased in a hospital, the image of princesses in expensive abbayas and smelling of high-priced attars accumulating like ravens around the body of the deceased and the nurses hiding in the corridors and making themselves scarce for fear of offending anyone from the royal family.

Unsurprisingly then, the most colourful  yarns in Saudi Arabia, the most informative as well as the most entertaining, and the ones that rip open its cultural core, lie beyond the bland prose of newspapers, beyond the country’s few bookshops and television channels, along yet another diagonal axis."
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        -  Naima Rashid


Published in Newsline, November issue.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

We Found Love In A Hopeless Place

Saudi-Arabia, a hopeless place to ever even dream of finding a life partner, soul mate, or the love of your life..The country that strictly forbids mixing and all interaction between the sexes. How could anyone meet a member of the opposite sex here, let alone go out on a date, fall in love?

Surprisingly there are countless love stories that started in Magic Kingdom..So many of my friends found love here. It's actually quite ironic that of all places in the world, these couples met in the Saudi Kingdom. I compiled a list of short love stories form Saudi-Arabia.
Read our love story here.

Couples that found love in the hopeless desert Kingdom:

A Finnish man met a stunning Yemeni girl randomly one evening at a cafe..It was love at first sight. They are now happily married residing in Jeddah.

An Australian nurse met a U.S Marine at an embassy function. She thought he was cute, but not her type. He fell head over heals for her. They were friends first but soon fell deeply in love..They had a dream wedding a few years after when they moved to the U.S.

A Finnish nurse met her Palestinian husband at a desert camp. They were inseparable from that day onward. They are now happily married residing in Riyadh.

A Finnish nurse met an all American guy at a compound party. They worked at the same hospital and started dating. Soon they left the Kingdom together to make a new home and life in U.S.A. The are now happily married and have a sweet little baby girl.

Another Finnish nurse met an American soldier at an embassy party. They started dating and soon decided to leave the Kingdom to the U.S. This adorable couple had their fairy-tale wedding in the Caribbean.

A Finnish party girl and a Lebanese guy had a crush on each other. They often saw one another at parties where he DJ'd. The beautiful couple fell deeply in love and share the same passion of travelling the world. They got married in Finland, travelled around the world and are now returning to the desert Kingdom.

An Irish nurse met a Lebanese engineer at a golf club. They shared the same hobby and soon realised they had a lot more in common too. The couple had an elaborate wedding in Beirut where they now reside.

A Finnish nurse met an American guy at the Hash Harriers outings. They shared the same interest in sport, photography and nature. Soon they fell in love and set out to Finland for their wedding. The stunning couple reside in Riyadh where they both work.

A Lebanese nurse had given up on ever finding a soul mate, she had worked in KSA for many years before she was invited to the Hash group gatherings. She met a lovely American guy there and got hooked on both the desert and the man. They had an amazing wedding in Lebanon and returned to continue work in Saudi-Arabia.

A Swedish nurse met a fellow Swede at a compound gathering. They became good friends and soon realised they had grown to love each other. The couple moved to Sweden where they got engaged soon after.

A Lebanese male nurse had a crush on a colleague, a Finnish nurse for a long time until he had the courage to ask her out on a date. They fell instantly in love and moved in together. They soon got married and then had a cute little boy.

Two Canadian nurses arrived to work in Saudi Kingdom at the same time. They met at the hospital orientation program. The couple started dating, but found life as an unmarried couple very difficult in Saudi and decided to return back to their home country together.

A Malaysian nurse met an American army official at a compound party. They started dating and later went to her home country for marriage. They now have two kids and continue working in the Kingdom.

There are many other stories out there..These are just the tip of the iceberg. So what is the secret behind all these love stories from perhaps the most un-romantic, strict country in the world? I guess it might have something to do with the fact that many of the expats coming here are like-minded and share the same interests. They already were open-minded enough to make the move to Saudi, so many of them are open to inter-cultural relationships. Expatriates can actually have a lively night life in Saudi-Arabia and many of these couples met a party or other expat gathering.

I've also noticed a phenomenon that is quite common; a lot of the women coming here are in bad relationships back home and moving to Saudi for a temporary work placement often leads to them seeing things in new perspectives. They realize they were just dragging along in an already doomed relationship. Moving to Saudi is a sort of an unconscious way to break off from that relationship.

Currently my husband and I are the only ones I'm aware of a mixed marriage between a Saudi and an expat that met in the Kingdom. Many were dating but none went further than that..

I will leave you with a Valentine's day card my daughter made for us at daycare..I'm so proud of my little artist! Ok maybe the teachers helped her a bit :)