Saudi Wedding Extravaganza Part 2

The first part of the Saudi wedding experience post left us foreigners still sitting at the table in amazement of the goings on. Read that post here.

The main event of the Saudi weddings is of course the arrival of the bride. Like I mentioned before the bride actually stays hidden from the guests for most of the wedding party. In a way I feel this is a shame since the wedding hall has been so beautifully decorated and so much time and money spent on it and the bride doesn't get to fully enjoy it. All her relatives and friends are there too, so the arrangement of the bride only showing up for a good half hour during the entire evening, feels strange and like a sort of a waste for her to stay away from it all so long!

It's hard to understand why the brides don't fully participate in their own weddings! Sure she is the star of the show for the time she steps out of her closed room upstairs and slowly makes her grand entrance down the stairs and aisle to the stage for everyone to see. The bride then sits on the throne, sofa or chair whichever she has chosen, and watches women dance for her and come up to greet her. Usually this is the time in most Saudi weddings when the groom and some relatives such as the father of the bride and her brothers will make a short appearance on the women's side which leads to frantic covering up of the unrelated women.

This wedding was different though. Not even the groom showed up which was really uncommon. This was because of the conservative nature of the family. When the bride was ready to come down the lights were dimmed and the music changed into a sort wedding march performed by the same music group. When she showed up in all her glory on top of the stairs the whole room seemed to gasp in amazement of her beauty.

She was indeed stunning. Thank God there was no clown make-up and she had kept it low key by Saudi terms. Her waist-long hair had been tied up into a huge bun that reminded me of the 60's hairstyles and it was decorated with flowers and pearls. On top she wore an exquisitely embroidered long sheer veil secured onto her hair with a small tiara. Her ivory white dress had a simple A-line cute to it, with an embroidered form fitting top and a cute ribbon belt to accentuate her tiny waist. The dress had a beautifully detailed and long trailing hem on it. She was holding a small bouquet of flowers in one hand.

The bright spotlight followed her steps slowly as she made her way down the red carpeted stairs. The bride was very nervous and had trouble smiling for the female photographer. Coming down the staircase seemed to take forever. I thought it must have felt like eons for her. Her dress had such a long and heavily embroidered hem it was difficult for her to take steps down. For each step she took down she had to grab the hem with both hands, kick it out of the way, then settle the dress again for the minute long pause she took at each step. I held my breath at every step and hoped she wouldn't trip on the hem.

The bride eventually reached the stage and stood in the spotlight facing the crowd. As she stood there, now smiling and seemingly more relaxed, there was an announcement in Arabic and the crowd burst into applause and some women were loudly ululating. The announcements kept coming and the ululating got louder.

Finally she took seat and her close family all gathered around her. Some were dancing, some were hugging her, some sat next to her. At this point I was clueless (again) what I should do. I was part of the closer family and unsure if I should go on the stage or not. I watched people slowly go up to her and congratulate her. I wanted to go, but then again I really didn't! I felt really shy and didn't want the attention.

At this point the first REAL drinks were served, the waitresses came around with trays of fruit juices. In very tiny glasses for my disappointment though. As I was dying of thirst at this point I drank the juice in one gulp and snatched another one before she left our table. I must have been her favorite person of the evening. The waitress gave me a long look. I'm thirsty, woman! For God's sake I could drink them all at once! Don't look at me like I'm some sort of freak.

So after this refreshment I had decided to make my way to the stage. I grabbed my friend along for emotional back up. I was so nervous and I didn't know what to do. My master plan was to quickly go congratulate her then quietly step off the stage and leave. It didn't exactly work out as planned though.

After I had greeted her and some other relatives, I was pointed to stand on the side of the stage where women were cheering on the dancers in the middle. Suddenly one of the women approached me and grabbed me by the hand. I panicked. NO! Now way I am going to dance in front of 300 women! I wanted to run or to shrink into a tiny little midget so nobody could see my so called dance moves. I know now how deer feel when they see the spotlight from the approaching car and freeze without being able to move, waiting for the smash.

I was at the center of the stage and could feel those curious eyes becoming even more curious now that the Amriki lady had been dragged into the spotlight for a great chance to LMFAO. I surely delivered. I had done this dance before and I do love Arabic dance, even managed to pull it off somehow in familiar company. In this situation though,  I could not have been able to perform a simple freakin ballet plie. I was as stiff as a rake.

The woman who dragged me was smiling and encouraging me and she was an excellent dancer, probably the best of them. Which of course made me look even more idiotic up there. I felt like a pecking chicken among beautiful gliding swans. I held my dress with my other hand, tried to smile and look like I was having the time of my life (which in a way I was) and clucked around for the song that seemed to go on for eternity. Were the African women making it go on this long on purpose?

When it finally finished I was taken back to the side of stage next to other women. I clapped along to the songs and prayed no one else would come and ask for this dance, waiting for a chance to escape. Suddenly a young woman started dancing very provocatively facing me. She had one of those masquerades going on in her face and her hair was so stiff from the hairspray it was the only thing not moving on her body.

The vamp was closing in, looking at me like I was the steak on her plate! Yikes! Someone HELP! I had no idea what was going on. I looked to my sides. Everyone acted normal. Is this normal? This woman had possibly been watching to much MTV music videos and thought she was Shakira. Her moves were straight from a provocative dance video. The Arab Shakira was nearly in my face before she abruptly made a 180 degree turn and continued her sexy dance. Phew. Now that was AWKWARD.

The awkward moment when you're being vamped by a Saudi Shakira dressed in an evening gown in front of all her relatives.

After that I was wishing I could grow wings and fly off the stage. No Red Bull so that didn't work out. Next one of the fully veiled women came up to the stage and I curiously watched her warmly greeting the bride. I wonder did they even know who she was? As this lady left she turned to me and I had another skipped heart beat-moment. Luckily she just laughed and showed me the thumbs up. I took it as a sign of approval of my chicken dance.

After about half an hour on stage the bride left alone to her room where she would have dinner with her husband. It was now 1 am. The doors were opened to another hall where a sumptuous buffet had been laid out. Everyone started to walk in at the same time creating a crowd at the doors. Strangely the waitresses were smoking bokhoor at the doors. Certainly not the most appetizing experience to be smoked alive before dinner. The women were scrambling around trying to find plates and cut others in line, and I can't count how many people (including children) took advantage of us suckers and jumped in front of us.

I really hope the animals underneath the table were not the ones in the stews above.

So many delicious dishes to choose from! Some of them I was familiar with, some were new acquaintances. The real enigma was the huge chunk of meat in the middle of the buffet served on a large silver plate and embedded in rice. My friend and I were wondering out loud was it a camel? The chunk was so large and sort of resembled a camel's hump. It must be camel right? We asked a little girl what meat was it and she looked at us as if we had just asked her what is a pizza? We didn't get an answer but we did get very long looks and whispers. The meat was surely popular among the guests. Many women were literally digging into it with their bare hands tearing big pieces off. That kind of put me off tasting it so it remained a mystery until I had the chance to ask my husband.

Ladies and gentlemen (drum roll..) This is "leeya" aka a lamb's BUTT. And apparently it's a delicacy and yes the white stuff is blubber. The best part, I was told.

So I will just leave it to that because I know many people really like this :)

All eyes seemed to be on us foreigners as we searched for a free table to sit at. I found it strange that the drinks served with this elaborate and surely expensive dinner buffet were Pepsi, 7Up and Miranda. There weren't even any cups so straight from the cans. Also no napkins to fold on your lap, just the usual "mandeel" which are tissues in cardboard boxes.

After dinner it seemed most of the guests were leaving. There was a large freshening up room with mirrors where some women were re-applying lipstick after dinner. And as if anyone at this wedding needed MORE perfume, there was even a stand with a variety of perfumes to spray on yourself next to small mints and chocolates. About a fourth of the women had returned to the main hall where the music continued and some young women were dancing.

I couldn't help noticing a gorgeous and statuesque young lady dancing among them. She could have been at the Oscars red carpet and stunned everyone. She wore a golden sleek one shoulder (only bare shoulder of the night!) gown with minimal jewelry and must have been 6ft tall with a body to die for. Her hair was cut into a shoulder length trendy look and her make-up was perfect. She looked like a combination of Charlize Theron and Penelope Cruz. I thought to myself had this woman been born to a different culture, by now her other-worldly beauty would likely be known worldwide. In Saudi she lived a very sheltered life, most likely only a handful of men ever witnessing her beauty. Two so different worlds!

Back at the abaya cloak room where women were covering up all the glitz and glamour under layers of black. You would never know what what was underneath!
We left the wedding exhausted but happy from the experience. I think I pulled it off OK. At least I managed to keep "calm and collected" on the outside! Inside I was a nervous wreck most of the time. I'm hoping the next wedding I go to will be less of an ordeal!

Do you have a Saudi wedding experience to share?

Crossing The Line

I've said it before I will say it again. Most Saudis don't know what a queue, also known as a line is.
Other foreign concepts include (but are not limited to):
Standing in a line.
Queuing.
Waiting for your turn.
First come, first served.

Just in case someone might not know what the last phrase means here is what Wikipedia tells us:  "first-come, first-served and first-come, first choice – is a service policy whereby the requests of customers or clients are attended to in the order that they arrived, without other biases or preferences. The policy can be employed when processing sales orders, in determining restaurant seating, on a taxi stand, etc. In Western society, it is the standard policy for the processing of most queues in which people wait for a service or two.

Why doesn't this concept apply to Saudi-Arabia? Why am I constantly being cut in line by a "VIP" who thinks their existence is more important than others? Why are people in such a hurry to be served first? Why are people so indifferent to others in their presence? What causes this rude behavior? Why is it acceptable to act this way?

Just an example from yesterday.
I was shopping at the IKEA food market and had picked a few must-have items (such as Finnish black licorice, rye crackers, gingerbread and frozen crawfish) and had proceeded to the cashier with my basket. There was one woman standing there so I automatically went to stand behind her, to form a line.

So next thing you know another woman comes from the side and shoves her chocolate bars on the counter and the cashier automatically serves her. I was annoyed but thought this is normal here so I didn't bother to say anything. Then another woman comes from the other side of the counter and starts waving her money and candy at the cashier. He sees me, but takes her first.

My annoyance is growing. Next I push my basket in front of the cashier and say, excuse me, I'm next. No use. He takes the chocolate bars from the insisting man next to me. A boy comes from the behind him and pushes a licorice bar almost directly in the cashiers hand. All the while I'm standing there with my basket and telling him I've been waiting for 10 minutes here. He completely ignores me and proceeds to serve the Saudis as if he didn't understand anything I just said.

I have the baby in a stroller behind me and she is getting really fussy and my husband is still busy with something else. By now six people have jumped the queue so now I was determined to get served next. Then what completely topped off my irritation was when a girl and her mother came next to me demanding to be served immediately, of course. The girl was waving a chocolate bar. I told her mother excuse me there's a line here, I was first. She ignored me. Then the girl tried again and I pushed my basket in front of her so that she couldn't even reach the cashier. And guess what the mother does?

She whispers something in the daughter's (age around 7 yrs old) ear and next thing you know the kid shows up next to the cashier with her chocolate bar. I glanced at him with a look that could kill but regardless he took the chocolate bar and the girl and mother started giggling in a juvenile manner. That is parenting at its best for you. What an exemplary woman. I'm sure the girl will grow up to be just as rude, selfish and immature as her.

The cashier then finally took my basket, dumped all the stuff out on the counter and started throwing (no joke) THROWING it around. I asked him what are you doing the cookies are fragile they might break! He looked at me with a blank stare. Then I asked him why didn't you take my things before, I was waiting a long time. He said, because you have so many things.

REALLY? You have got to be freakin kidding me. So the more things I have purchased the longer I have to wait in line for? Everybody with less items is allowed to cut me in line? What if I purchase two items at a time and then make a new purchase every time? If a hundred people come with one item, I will have to wait with my 15 items until you finish them? He obviously had never heard of customer service or first comes first served principle. Just because I chose to buy more doesn't mean I loose my right to be served when it's my turn. Sheesh. Who will teach these people manners?? Who will instill customer service into their brains?

What would you have done in this situation? Had a nervous breakdown, called the manager, grabbed the chocolate bars from the other customers hands and thrown them around or just walked away and not bought anything?

For more pics from the Saudi IKEA experience go here: http://imagesofsaudi.blogspot.com/2012/02/saudi-ikea-experience.html
Saudi VIP's: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/08/excuse-me-excuse-me-excuse-me.html

The Move From Hell

Apologies for being away form the blog so long. But I had a good excuse! We were finally able to move into our new place in the Diplomatic Quarters in Riyadh. For the move we were planning to hire a moving company. Last time we moved the company destroyed many precious items I had brought from Finland and some things (like a huge painting) went MISSING.
So this time we searched for a moving firm we could trust not to destroy everything. A company was recommended to us that seemed really professional and even had a good website, but they would've charged us over 8000 riyals! For a days work I think that's ridiculous, considering petrol is almost free and labor for such work is very cheap.

So we tried to find something we could afford and ended up using a company that seemed OK and signed the contract which included price, time and most importantly that any destroyed items would be reimbursed.
When the moving day came, the crew arrived in the morning and we had hired two maids to help us pack and unpack. I felt I needed at least ten extra heads and sets of hands to be able to supervise these people.

The way these men were handling and packing stuff was amazing. I mean we are talking about people who do this for a living right? You would assume they knew what they're doing huh? Pack clothing nicely in plastic bags and other things in boxes with padding and wrapped in newspaper and so on.

In reality what was going on was about six Afghani men were throwing random things into plastic bags and boxes as fast as they could. I did not have time to label anything and they mixed everything together with no logic whatsoever. Their idea of padding was a single sheet of newspaper placed between items, not around.

So next getting the trucks (there were two which resembled something I've seen sheep transported in) into which about 70% of our belongings had been stuffed. No padding or wrapping, of course. I took a deep breath and thought with careful driving everything could still work out well. The men needed advice from us how to tie up the things so they don't fall in the middle of the road. As if they had never in their lives had to secure anything on the trucks before.

When we got to our destination we realized the trucks were too tall to drive into the parking hall. This meant the load had to be carried from a nearby parking lot to the building and up one set of stairs. In other words the men were now forced to walk an extra 200 meters and instead of having to carry things up two sets of stairs it would now only be one. Just a minor set back, or even better that way right?

Nope. This was the END OF THE WORLD. Suddenly the men became so lazy and slow, sloths would look like cheetahs next to these people. They dragged (not carried) one small bag at a time complaining about having to walk. In our apartment they tried to avoid having to take anything upstairs. We had friends over to help supervise and carry stuff but I swear for each one of these movers, a personal assistant is needed to ensure they don't break everything and do at least something!

The boss walked so slow I could hear when he was coming from a mile away by the way his sandals dragged on the ground. It was around 1 p.m and he was already giving up. He said this will never finish! Oh yeah? Well if you slouch around like a freakin SLUG it will probably not end this year! But do your job and it just might! I saw him THROW a box into the laundry room upside down, he thought no one could see him. When I confronted him he pretended it was an accident. How professional.

The mover-snails finally got to moving some of the larger furniture after long talks and persuasion. My husband and his friend were helping them since things were seriously not moving along fast enough. However the movers would not listen to any advice. The staircase is quite narrow and some things are difficult to get upstairs so my husband tried to tell the men how to turn furniture around to make it fit. Instead, the men didn't listen and kept turning the stuff around like it's the Rubik's cube until finally after half an hour they figured out what my husband told them was in fact the only way to take things up.

So after they had thrown our stuff around and finally emptied the trucks they started refusing to finish the job. WHAT? We have an agreement! We signed a contract! They said it's too much work. Excuse me you knew exactly how much stuff we have and said it's no problem. Plus most of the stuff was already here. They had left the heaviest things in the previous apartment for last. We told them if you don't finish it today you won't get any money!It was only 5 p.m and there was still plenty of hours in the day.

Truth is they were just too lazy. The laziest of them all was the boss or some sort of so called supervisor. His job was apparently to drink and eat all the food we provided and to sweat like hell after carrying a pillow. His job description also consisted of CONSTANT whining and sighing. And the sandal dragging, of course.

So when they got back to the old apartment, they QUIT. Just like that. In the middle of the move. Without getting paid. They QUIT. WTH? How can someone's laziness be so profound they even forget about money? So they did all those 8h work for free? I wanted to kill them.

My husband started calling around for another company and finally someone agreed. They came that evening with the promise of finishing off that night, despite it being late already. This all Pakistani crew seemed more professional in their packing techniques, plastic and padding was actually used.

Oh and a small setback at this point, my husband's car broke down.

So when the next truck was all packed up and my husband had managed to get another car they arrived at DQ. Guess what?

They REFUSED work. So our stuff (including those beds and baby foods!) were in the truck. They were holding our stuff hostage! They asked for more money. My husband initially refused but when it became evident the things were going to be held ransom, he agreed to pay a small amount more. No luck. The asses locked up the truck and left. Just like that.

Grrreat! Now what?

Well we ended up sleeping on a mattress on the floor in the same dirty clothes with no idea where the baby stuff was. Not the best of nights especially with the cats howling like crazy and jumping all over the place. The kidnappers were supposed to arrive 8 am the next morning because the truck was parked in the blazing sun and it contained food items. Husband called them in the morning. "Oh we're still sleeping, maybe around 11. MAYBE? 11? I was already sizzling.

So these hauler-pirates arrived around noon. Same thing as with the previous crew happens: After carrying a few boxes and things they start moaning and groaning. The boss says he will just drop off the things on the street and leave. No motivation, no respect.

These guys were even more reckless with our stuff. I had to watch them every second. They started to fill the corridor outside the apartment with our things. It looked like the gypsies were moving in. So instead of carrying the item five more meters into the house, they blocked the corridors for the sake of pure laziness. Even placed some things inside the neighbors foyers. Nice first impressions huh?

I was so annoyed and embarrassed at this point that I started to carry the things in the house myself, which I normally would without hesitation but I happen to be pregnant so it's not exactly advisable. My husband had to stay at the truck to see they won't run away and destroy our things. Whenever one of these useless slimeballs came around they refused to listen to me. You don't take orders from a woman eh? I could strangle you from your balls right now so you better listen to this one!

One of them was a total CREEP he would stare at me with no shame even in front of my husband. The same guy destroyed the house by dragging our pool which was full of mud up to the roof through the house leaving a trail of mud all over because he was holding it the wrong way. He got a good shouting for that but it didn't brighten up his attitude one bit.

I asked one of them to carry a box containing food (left in the +30c sunshine) inside to the kitchen. He looked at me and said with a poker face I don't carry boxes.
WHAT? Here's a newsflash for you: You're a MOVER. You know, the guy that carries boxes for his living? If you don't carry boxes, what DO you do, stare at women? So he ran away. Many of the men just ignored me or left when I asked them to do something. They were lucky I didn't have a rifle.

I saw another moving hero carry a box labelled Fragile UPSIDE DOWN and then drop it on the floor. I opened it and found a broken expensive glass item inside. Showed it to him and said you can't carry stuff like this look what you've done, it's broken. His reply? Mafi malom (I don't understand) and he laughed and left. He was lucky I did not have a bazooka on me.

The creep peed in all of our bathrooms, on the floors and the rims, so disgusting. Probably on purpose. I was going bananas. Then I went up to the rooftop to check if he'd done what I asked. The dude had actually left everything half-way in the staircase, thought I wouldn't go up and see. You're in no luck CREEP-O, get back here right now to finish! "Mafi malom." He tried to escape but I forced him to carry the things in their places.

So after thousands of similar scenarios that day the things were finally in the house. Now the moving geniuses needed to re assemble the wardrobes and beds. They tried to run away but we took revenge and kept one of them hostage upstairs. The rest of the crew vanished into thin air and my husband was left to assemble with this one totally clueless guy. That took a good three hours.

When they were leaving the manager came to the house. We showed him all the things they destroyed like one chest drawer ruined because of rough handling, the broken and scratched items and guess what he has to say? More money. Oh yes, more money, for this SUPER DUPER professional, swift and personal service. More money.

NO WAY. We won't pay you another halalah for this crap. In fact, you should pay us for what you destroyed by handling it wrong and apologize for your staff's totally frivolous working ethics.

In the end all was well, since we only ended up paying a very small amount for the "half-move" and things are just things and at least we are finally here. Forget these slimeballs and unprofessionalism that is flourishing in this country. I'm happy where I am.

P.S. Two days after this chaos we managed to pull off my daughter's 1 year birthday party ;)
P.P.S After we had emptied all the boxes we realized that all the expensive kitchen appliances had gone missing.

April Activities For Women

I meant to post this on Tuesday as the Tuesday Ten post but what stopped me was the move from hell which we experienced this week! On Tuesday believe it or not I was sleeping on the floor in the new apartment while the beds and foods were being held hostage overnight in the moving truck by the greedy and totally unprofessional moving firm men. If you want to hear all about this moving experience with not one but two incompetent unprofessional and rude moving companies then go to this post: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2012/04/move-from-hell.html

And now to the positive things! Sorry men of Riyadh but you're out of luck this April! Looks like there's TONS of stuff to do this month but mostly it's for the ladies in Riyadh. This is the month of exhibitions so be sure to check out at least one of these if you haven't been to a female only expo in Riyadh yet! Not to missed! For my previous experiences at women only expos check this post about the Blue Harbour exhibtion here: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/05/blue-harbour-exhibition-in-riyadh.html
And this one on the Palla Mano expo: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/06/palla-mano-exhibition-for-women.html
I cannot stress how much fun it is to go these and it's a great chance for the female expatriates in Riyadh to get to know some Saudi women too. I often hear women complaining it's impossible to meet and talk to Saudi women here. This is your best chance to see them without any barriers such as the veil and abaya and out of the public eye. You will find Saudi women very friendly, welcoming and curious toward expats at these expos.

1. Riyadh Fashion Days 8-11th April at Nojoud Mall:
http://www.facebook.com/events/377293495626312/

2. Wedding Fair at Nayyara Banquet Hall 22nd-25th April: http://www.nayyara.com/pdf/11th_International_Weddings_expo_EN.pdf

3. Cosmo Beauty Fair 2012 Four Seasons Hotel 21st – 23rd Apr: http://www.riyadhessence.com/all-events.html

4. Go Karting at Reem International Circuit 5pm - 12 am. Every Thursday and Friday.
For more info call 0569082900

5. Join Riyadh Quilt Guild more info here: http://riyadhquiltguild.blogspot.com/

6. For women in Saudi participate and learn at the Glowork Workshops: https://twitter.com/#!/Glowork1/status/185997229817987072/photo/1/large
Job search for women in Saudi: http://www.glowork.net/

7. GCON 1st Girls Gaming Convention! April 11th-12th, PSU:  http://www.gcon-riyadh.com/

8. Write a restaurant review and win an iPad: http://www.riyadheats.com

9. Riyadh Women's Exhibition 16th to 23rd April: http://rywomexpo.alriyadh.gov.sa/en/

10. Art Expo by Abdulnasser Gharem 10th-12th April, French Embassy, DQ more info: mdfriyadh@yahoo.com