Monday, October 31, 2011

Seeking for Decent Bride, Fair and Lovely, No Demands.

It's not only the Saudis that are having arranged marriages in the Kingdom. There are large communities of Muslim expats permanently settled in the country who also prefer arranged marriages. Those Muslims often find it easier to seek for suitable brides and grooms online or on newspapers.


For example there are hundreds of matrimonial sites for Indians and Pakistanis alone. Then there's specific sites for the expats living in Saudi to which they turn to when the son or daughter is ready to get married. Using media for finding a bride/grooom is seen as perfectly normal and efficient way to find a spouse. Many arranged marriages do succeed, but I guess at least an equal amount do not.


In the west on the other hand, people are more used to using internet and other media for dating purposes and getting to know the person they are interested in. Men and women do also search for life companions but not with the type of adds than you might see in a Saudi newspaper. In the west people would typically go to great lengths to describe their character and personalities, views on life and future hopes rather than family backgrounds or skin color preference.


A short add in a European newspaper stating a man is urgently looking to marry any young, good-looking, non-demanding woman of certain height and skin color that is a good cook would be seen as a bad joke or even racist and chauvinistic.


For those not used to arranged marriages seeing these kinds of straight-forward marriage proposals comes across as really odd. Sometimes it seems as if the most important qualities mentioned in these adds are racial origin, skin color, height and age of the woman. Additional mentions go to cooking, home making skills and degrees. It's also strange to see parents placing the adds for their children.

I stumbled upon some pretty interesting (and some funny) adds on an expat website..


SEEKING DECENT BRIDGE
A Pakistan National 47 years old man working in Saudi Arabia from 20 years seeking Pakistani decent Bridge under 35 years old, having strong financial position with family status. Reason for having another marry is lack of son. Interested families may be contacted at the following an email with full detail and photo, SYED -SUNNI & BUKHARI family is preferred.
bridge_required@yahoo.com


Looking for a Bride
Sunni muslim indian hyderabadi parents searching a bride for my younger brother and who's profile
Age: 27 yrs
Height: 5.10 inch
Color: wheatish
Education: gradute (Bachelor of Commerce)
Position : Sales Coordinator
Settled in ksa 


Girl shoude be atleast 
Age : 20 to 26 yrs
Height: 5.3 and above
Color : fair
Educaton: any
homely responly house duty religious minded
No demands 
If these breif detail mates your requirement please forward the pic and details from your side to...


Urgent need a cute wife for my self (your all condistions will be accepted)
 i am from saudiarab bassiclay from peshawar age 32, belongs to pathan family, working as an electrical supervisor, having cool financialy background, have 2 lak Saudi riayal bank balance here in ksa and having 90 lak rupees property in pakistan. i am independant need a lifepartner age 17-20 from any cast. i will supourt financailly. work visa will be given to her brother. if any one interested pls contact 


Looking for 2nd wife
 am looking for blonde girl .North American or European .from age 26 to 35. 
height from 5,2 to 5,6 ft
.beautiful
take care of her body and health ...honest
Iam work as ER doctor in Gov hospital
and my first wife still in Egypt not here in KSA
i have all equp to get married in month or may be less


Seeking for second wife 
I am from hyderabad, PG, working in Jeddah, 6000 SR/month with family status ofcourse, goodlooking, religious, physically and financially strong alhamdulillah, already with wife and small kids eldest dgtr is 4 yrs, 
looking for religious, god fearing, niqab observing,fair, sincere family oriented, atleast graduate girl, age not more than 32 years, (divorcees with children excuse please).
If someone finds this suitable please contact me through the email
Ma'assalam

and the same guy amended the add to this the next day..


Seeking for second wife
I am from Pakistan City Faisalabad, B.Tech (Electrical) from Preston University, working in Jeddah, 5000 SR/month with family status of course, good looking, religious, physically and financially strong alhamdulillah, already married and going for seperation soon as we are not understanding totally to each other.
looking for religious, god fearing, observing,fair, sincere family oriented, atleast graduate girl, age not more than 25 years, (divorcees with children excuse please).
If someone finds this suitable please contact me through the email
Ma'assalam


Looking for second wife
 I am Saudi man working in health sector, looking for a bride in Jeddah as second wife. She will have a full respected treatment as Islam's state on.
Preferred: good looking, whitish, Arabic, social, separated woman with/without kids. Of-course, fearing Allah, from decent family, well educated, open minded ...etc.
I am 37yrs old, open minded, practical, fearing Allah ...bla bla, financially capable to open 2nd house.


Seeking bride for our son
We are seeking a bride for our son, Electrical Engineer, age 26 years, slim and smart, raised & educated in Saudi Arabia, currently employed in a well reputed company. We are a Sunni Muslim Awan family belong to Punjab - Pakistan . 

Bride should be simple, polite, beautiful, well educated and family oriented with Islamic cultured, enough to know the difference between a house and a home, age between 20 to 23 years,
Interested parents / guardians are kindly requested to forward the bride bio-data in detail through email. You all are very respectable for us and we assured you, that your all information's will be treated as confidential.
Best Regards
Groom Parents


Proposal
We are looking proposal for younger brother, who is 27 years old, Fair, Good Looking, 6.1" Tall, B.com, M.com, working in Hyderabad,
Bride should be very good in look, Slim, Beautiful with Sharp features & religious, very soft in nature, well-mannered, strictly practicing hijaab (veil and wimple) and knows all domestic responsibilities.
Interested parents are kindly requested to forward detailed bio-data along with very recent picture of the bride 



Reading all these and there are hundreds like them out there, left me with a feeling of  sadness..what is a woman's value these days? Isn't there anyone out there looking for a woman as a companion and an equal partner nowadays? Are all these men/parents just searching for a white-skinned beautiful maid/cook/bedroom entertainment center/baby producing machine? And all these men looking for second wives..ugh.


But then I saw these two adds and I thought, there is some HOPE.
Looking for beauty with brains
Well travelled, educated egyptain doctor (46) is looking for a companion marriage. Someone used to travelling, has a mind of her own - not a yes-woman. Overall must be an interesting personality.


Seeking Bride 
I am Filipino Nationals and i am looking for divorced or widowed saudi or egyptian lady with kids.
The lady should be educated and studied outside the Kingdom, speaks english fluently, open minded, caring and loving. No age limit required as long as she is willing to be my life time partner.


Well I hope all the persons eventually find what they are looking for..Ok maybe not the men looking for second wives haha ;)

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Haram Halloween in Saudi-Arabia

It's surprising how many people in Saudi-Arabia are planning to have Halloween parties this weekend. Officially the country does not celebrate other than the religious holidays and Saudi National Day. Holidays like Christmas, Valentine's and Halloween are considered as pagan holidays and are striclty forbidden from the Kingdom.

According to Islamic teachings Muslims are not supposed to celebrate other occasions than Eid-al Fitr which is the celebration when Ramadan is over and Eid al Adha which will be very soon after Hajj ends.
Many Saudi families don't even celebrate their children's birthdays let alone Mother's Day (although Islam highly values mothers) because they think it's all haram (forbidden).

Year by year Halloween celebrations are growing in popularity in the Kingdom,
Most of the Halloween celebrations in Saudi are hidden from public view at kids private parties and expat gatherings on compounds and embassies. Halloween decorations are extremely hard to find in stores, although I did find many western chains like H&M, Mothercare and Pottery Barn selling Halloween costumes for children.

The CPVPV also known as muttawa are notorious for hating all things western or pagan and are currently going around shopping malls looking for any items resembling Halloween festiveness to confiscate.
Read this post if you want to learn more about muttawa raiding shopping malls.

I'm guessing pumpkins will be banned from grocery stores this week just like red roses are forbidden around Valentine's Day.

Most western compounds and the U.S embassy will host very popular Halloween parties for expats. I've seen people showing up in traditional Saudi clothing. Men would have thobes and ghutra and women abaya and niqab(face veil) or sometimes only the niqab but combined with something like a sexy minidress.


I don't think its smart to dress in traditional Saudi clothing for a Halloween party in Saudi and get pissed drunk in the process. That's like mocking and ridiculing the very culture you live in. Also, it's making fun of other people's religious beliefs.

This Halloween there's this campaign called "We're a culture not a costume" launched by students from the Ohio University. Check out the pictures here: http://edition.cnn.com/2011/10/26/living/halloween-ethnic-costumes/index.html# They call for sensitivity when it comes to dressing up in another cultures traditional attire. They campaign against stereotypes and racism that culturally insensitive costumes create.

The campaign has a picture of a white guy wearing ghutra and thobe with bombs attached to his chest. I think that's definitely crossing the line. Here is a link to their site "Students Teaching about Racism in Society".http://www.ohio.edu/orgs/stars/Home.html

I have to say I totally agree with this campaign even though I'm not some religous fanatic or uptight person. I don't consider my own culture as superior to others. I once dressed up as a "typical Finnish man" making a joke of my own culture's stereotypes.

I consider myself a pretty relaxed person with sometimes a very sarcastic sense of humor but sometimes there's a limit to what's funny and what's simply tasteless.

Many expats in Saudi of course miss Halloween celebrations from home. People have fond memories of Halloween as a kid and they want to celebrate it even though they are in Saudi. I don't see anything wrong in that as long as people don't start sneering at their Saudi hosts and Islam.

I remember as a kid in the States we used to go Trick or Treating around the neighborhood and it was fun to get all that candy (and eat it until we felt sick)! Trick-or treating would probably not go down too well in Saudi-Arabia though..


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sans Abaya in Saudi

I've been extremely busy the past few weeks! My family from Finland were visiting us in Saudi and we had a tight schedule including a trip to Jeddah and Dubai. It was an amazing holiday and we all enjoyed it very much.

One of the most unsettling aspects of traveling to Saudi for women including my mother and sister are of course the abayas. This was already their second time visiting KSA so they had some previous experience on wearing abaya. The abaya always seems to make women wearing it for the first time feel insecure and very self-conscious.

I noticed from my mom and sisters behavior how they became constantly aware of their looks and very self conscious stressing about their abayas being on correclty or not. Every time someone would stare my mom and sis felt maybe they did something wrong. They would ask questions like what is allowed to wear underneath, is it ok if the lowest button is open or will wearing high heels with it get them into trouble.

Keeping this in mind I tried to include as many activities in our programme as possible that would enable them to be without abayas and relieve some of that stress.

Here's a list of things to do and places to go in Saudi that do not necessarily require wearing of abayas:

Desert
Naturally any place far off in the desert will be safe for women to take their abayas off.
This time we went to Rawdhat Khuraim and the girls made long walks around the huge area without abayas, there was literally no one else there. Also good for some female driving ;) Read more about the place here:http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/p/desert-treks.html
Thumamah park is a beautiful nature reserve outside Riyadh, we went there for a picnic with no one else in sight.


Diriyah
The historical area which has been declared a UNESCO World Heritage site is virtually empty from visitors on weekdays. We enjoyed a short walk on a farm and later a picnic in Wadi Hanifa.

Faisaliah tower
Women can take their abayas off at the top of the tower in the "Globe" restaurant, the Cigar club and the viewing platform.

Ladies only Kingdom
For first timers in Saudi it's always interesting to see how Saudi women really look like behind their veils. Third floor in Kingdom shopping center women shop and work in normal clothing


Quadbiking
There are few areas around Riyadh for quadbiking but the most scenic ones are Red Sands and Thumamah. During the weekdays its very quiet and women can drive around without being disturbed especially in the mornings. I would not recommend going to these places alone or without males on weekend peak hours though. Guaranteed unwanted attention from the hundreds of male drivers.


Diving
Women can take their abayas off as soon as they pass the checkpoint at Jeddah harbour.
In Farasan Islands women can explore the hundreds of deserted islands in peace.


Diplomatic Quarters
The DQ in Riyadh is the area where most of the embassies are located. The huge area has some amazing parks worth visiting. The area is safe for women to walk around in western attire.


Compounds
Some compounds even BAN abayas inside. Romaizan compound in Riyadh has a lovely restaurant by the pool open to non-Saudis only.
KFSH Cavepark inside the hospital compound has some lovely fountains and places for bbqs.


Golf clubs
Dirab and Riyadh golf clubs out of the city allow women to golf sans abaya.

Horseback riding
Dirab stables, the stables in DQ and the Riyadh Equestrian club are abaya free zones.


Istiraha and other rentals
An istiraha is a place sort of like a vacation rental outside the city where people go on weekends to relax. A family can rent out their own istiraha complete with private swimming pools, yards and housing equipped with living rooms, bedrooms and kitchens.
Another option is to rent a Bedouin style tent which will come with a private area where its perfectly fine for women to remove their abayas. Some nice tent rentals can be found in Thumamah park.


Private beaches
Women swim in "normal" swim gear in the numerous private beaches in Jeddah and AlKhobar.

Do you know of any other places worth mentioning?


Monday, October 24, 2011

Filthy Rich Arabs Doing Forest Work in Finland

I stumbled upon this news article on a Finnish tabloid magazine about the GCC youth camp that has been arranged for the first time in a tiny town in Eastern Finland. The article about these millionaire Khaleejis in the Finnish forest made me laugh a few times but it was also interesting. Looks like the reporter has been dramatizing the story somewhat although this might even be her real perception of Arabs. I think this article summarizes pretty well how Finns in general perceive Arab men and the Gulf countries.

What made this story even more interesting to me is the location of the camp. I moved to Eastern Finland for a short while to a small town nearby. Everyone seemed to know one another and there were always rumors about the neighbors. If someone had lots of money they never showed it because Eastern Finns are known to be quite jealous and always talk about other people's money! The Finns of the Eastern province are also known to be talkative (to the point where they make up or blow up stories), laid-back and humorous but they might also have certain reserves for foreigners (or even Finns from other regions).
The mentality of the people of Eastern Finland shines through in this article and it made me smile.

Another thing worth mentioning: The man interviewed from Finland is the father of the woman who recruited me to Saudi-Arabia. We were even co-workers for a short while in the nursing recruitment agency. What a small world.

So here is the article translated into English:


Filthy Rich Arabs came to do forest work in Savo


Luxury palaces changed to everyday work in autumn Finland
Mohamed Hamed has previously met for example Saudi-Arabia's and Kuwait's heirs to the throne.Good relations to the Arab countries rulers made the oil billionaires choose Finland for their camp location. 


Three men are kneeling in prayer at the Vanamola camp grounds in Joroinen, Southern-Savo(eastern Finland). When the religious duties have been performed, the men gather around the campfire to enjoy some arabic coffee. Dates brought from their home countries are offered to guests too.


The majority of the 76 arab men are currently learning how to do forestry in the nearby pine forest. The temperature is only 6 degrees and with the chilly autumn wind blowing on the yellow birch leaves, beanies and quilted coats are clearly coming in handy.


The men are from rich oil countries:Qatar, Kuwait, Bahrain, Oman, UAE and Saudi-Arabia. In their home countries they are used to multistorey palaces and being constantly surrounded by servants. In Finland they must even make their own coffee in pots.


What made the millionaires come to the cold north?
We have a history of many years of co-operation with the Persian gulf councils (GCC) youth ministry. They decided to arrange the first Persian Gulf countries youth camp and the location was finally decided upon Finland and Joroinen, the projects organizer Mohammed Hamed says.


He works as a youth-worker for the city of Varkaus, but has known some big shots from the Arab countries for many years. Close relations to ministers and successors to the thrown played a crucial role when the arab countries started searching for a suitable destination for their youth camp. The camp is the first of its kind in the entire Europe.
-The ones that had been to Finland before described it as beautiful and safe, Hamed knows.


Salman AlMahmood, Abdulla Ebrahim and Mohamed AlRashedi would like to visit Finland again, even though the October weather does not suit the Arab youths that are used to temperatures as high as +60C. 

Life of luxury
The rumor in Savo has it that there could be even royals or at least some sort of sheikhs among the campers, but Hamed does not directly endorse the claim.
We are not elaborating on their backgrounds because we want to highlight everyone's equality. They are all rich, that we cannot deny though. For them it's perfectly normal to live in three to four story houses, which in Finnish terms is a sumptuous palace. At home they are constantly surrounded by servants, but this time I have been instructed to put them to work Hamed says.
A Finnish man that has been observing the hassle of the campers reveals that there have almost been some dietary issues. The guest's religion forbids eating pork among other things and even the animals that have reached the dinner table have their own slaughtering regulations.
But when you ask the campers themselves, they have had nothing to complain about. Mohamed AlRashedi, Salman Almahmood and Abdulla Ebrahim from Bahrain praise the Finns to be open and friendly. The beautiful nature has also made an impact.
They think that Finland has been surprisingly expensive when compared to other European countries. Despite that the men don't have to worry about lack of money, because the oil countries can afford to take care of their citizens.
-Back home our lives are very simple. We don't pay any taxes, studying is free and if you want to get married for example, the government will give you money to organize the wedding, AlRashedi says.
Yonsef Al-Saady, Mubarak Jeaithin and Saleh Ghareeh are making coffee by the campfire.
One euro is currently only half a Bahraini dinar, so the men are hoping for some affordable shopping in the next few days. The entourage is leaving to Helsinki on monday, where they are hoping to meet the President of Finland herself. An application requesting to meet her has already been sent, but they do not know yet if it was accepted.
Hamed says getting such a prestigious group of guests to the 5000 inhabitant strong Joroinen was like winning the lottery, because the wealthy arab countries are willing to pay for the expenses of their campers.
-This visit will not cost even a penny to the Finnish government, because the participating countries are paying for every single thing. Instead the guests will leave big money to the surrounding communities and Helsinki, Hamed states.
FACTS ABOUT THE CAMP:
The camp is organized and funded by the Persian Gulf council (GCC) youth ministry
The EU-like GCC consists of wealthy oil countries such as Kuwait, UAE, Bahrain, Saudi-Arabia, Oman and Qatar.
Almost 80 guests from different countries are participating in the 10-day camp
The camp programme will consist of introduction to the Finnish culture, meeting with Finnish youths, doing forest work and a friendly football game with the local football team. Next week the campers will go to Helsinki for some sightseeing.

I cracked up when I saw the guy holding the arabic coffee pot over the campfire!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Culture Fair for Children in Riyadh

Something very interesting currently going on in Riyadh is the first International Children Culture Fair at the King Fahad cultural center. For more info check the Blue Abaya events section!

I went to the fair with my friend Aisha Al-Hajjar who was asked to cover it for Arab News, she writes columns for Saudi Life and has her own blog Saudi Birth Story too. I was honored to be asked by her to cover for the photos for the Arab News article.

Coming from an extremely strong culture of reading, (we grew up reading books, not watching TV) the fair was a very positive surprise for me. There was so many children's books for sale ranging from toddlers touch and learn type books to older kids bedtime stories. The fair had many books in English as well and some English learning centers were represented along with a few embassies such as Sweden and Japan.

My husband bought some books for our baby because she is already such a little bookworm! These were her first Arabic language books. I started reading to her when she was a few weeks old in Finnish and now whenever she sees a book she tries to grab it so it is definitely paying off already.

Reading to children is not as common in Saudi-Arabia than it is in Finland, but it seems to be growing in popularity. Reading to your kids is always highly beneficial for their language skills and strengthens the bond between the child and parent.

A nice bedtime story will help the child relaz and wind down before falling asleep and even look forward to going to bed. I hope many parents get the inspiration and encouragement of reading to their kids from this fair.

The fair had many other aspects to it on top of the book fair there was a museum, plays and shows and interactive learning center. I would recommend all parents Saudis and expats alike visit this fair with their children!
The King Fahad cultural center has very modern architecture and pleasant surroundings with fountains and gardens.
Children being interviewed for television.
Can you guess the sponsor of this event?
I was surprised how all the classic fairy tales that we know from childhood could be found at the fair and had passed the Saudi censors. There was some excellent books on Islam in English language for children available too.
Cute little boy hugging his book!
Fun interactive books for toddlers
There were lot of booths to browse various kinds of children's books. Most were in Arabic language but they did have English books too.
This book was about the history of Saudi-Arabia

These young Saudi men were dressed in traditional outfits and were performing traditional dancing at the fair.
Saudi hand puppets!
A happy kid enjoys the fair with his father
Face paintings were a hit!
You can have your name written in Japanese at the Japanese embassy booth!

Pretty Saudi girls dressed in traditional dresses with flower bands on their hair.
A girl being interviewed by media.
More hand puppets.
More toddler books! Was hard to choose which ones to get for my daughter.
Monkey manners is a marvelous way to teach kids basic manners ;) 
 Fountains outside the center.
 Such a pretty girl and pretty dress!
A marvelous book for expecting mothers with children and curious questions to answer how the baby got there!
The architecture inside the King Fahad cultural center is impressive!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Incredible Istanbul

Our family recently took a quick trip to Istanbul and I wanted to share some photos I took of this magical city. We had just under a week there which I found was not enough to explore everything Istanbul has to offer. Incredible, irresistible, inspirational, intriguing, sometimes irritatingly crowded Istanbul made a huge impression on me and I will definitely return there one day with better time on my hands.

Turkey is a popular holiday destination among Saudis and we saw many of them in Istanbul. The city is easily reachable from Saudi and visas can be purchased on arrival. The beautiful mosques, shopping, great food and Islamic history attracts large numbers of Saudi tourists here.
Turks love love flowers! This is from a flower market at Taksim square.
We took an evening cruise on the Bosphorus it was beautiful despite the cloudy day. And also very romantic of course!
Cruising between the two continents.
Taksim Square, this lady was selling bird seeds for tourists to feed the pigeons.
Topkapi Palace splendor. The Sultan had over 500 concubines in his palace! It was so huge we didn't have time to even see a third of it, but enough to get a general impression of the ridiculously lavish life style of the time.
Mouth-watering Turkish foods. These men were breaking the clay pot dish with the spoon and they made it into a spectacular show on the street where people sat watching on the restaurant terraces.
The Sultan's harem at Topkapi palace. This place was freakin huuuuge! There was separate quarters for the favorite concubines and mothers to sons and then a less fancy motel like part where I guess the less popular lovers were kept. What a sad life that must have been (for the women)
Check out the Sultans modest bedroom furnace!
Inside the Harem a view to the sky. I wonder how many women looked through these holes and thought of escaping their miserable life as basically sex slaves to the Sultan..
The "flower passage" is lined with restaurants and cafe's.
Turkish baba enjoying some traditional Turkish ice cream.
Inside Aya Sofia the original place of the Virgin Mary is almost identical to the direction of the Qibla, is it coincidence? How amazing I thought!
The entrance to the Aya Sofia which was originally a church then turned into a mosque.The images of Jesus and Mary were covered and then revealed again after it was turned into a museum in 1930's. I saw only a few Muslim tourists at Aya Sofia. Comparing to the neighbor Blue Mosque where the crowd was mixed of non-muslims and muslims alike. I thought it was sad and showed how religious tolerance among Muslims is non existent. Why would they not want to visit Aya Sofia as much?
Cat at the Blue Mosque.
Sultanahmet mosque courtyard
Inside Blue Mosque
Alladdins lamps and a thousand other things for sale at the Grand Bazaar's 4000 shops
I love these lamps!
Most delightful Turkish delights.
Just another of the thousands of Istanbul's mosques
A sheesha cafe in Sultanahmet.
A poet and his kitten at an ancient cemetery.
Aya Sofia by night.

A lazy well fed and groomed street cat.
Maghrib prayer.
Crowded Istilkal Caddesi
I love the cats of Istanbul they are treated so well they look like house cats
Roasted chestnuts sold by street vendors
The Turks are obsessed with the evil eye!
My daughter had many admirers people would come up to her all the time to squeeze her cheeks and say mashallah.Here a police officer stopped us to give her a ticket for being too cute!

Which picture do you like the most? My favorite is the Turkish Baba :)