An Expat's Tale From A Saudi Jail

It's my pleasure to introduce you to an expat nurse and friend of mine who worked in Riyadh for a few years. Her memories from Saudi are positive despite some negative incidents that occurred during her stay here such as a short jail sentence! Read on to find out more about her life in the Magic Kingdom!


First of all thank you for agreeing to this interview and for sharing your experience about life in Saudi-Arabia as a working western expat woman. You had some pretty out of the ordinary experiences while you were here! 
What got you interested in coming to Saudi-Arabia in the first place?
What was your very first impression about the Kingdom, and did it match what you had expected it to be?
You worked as a RN in a large government hospital. How would you describe the hospital compared to ones in Finland and what was the most difficult thing to adjust to in Saudi?


So how did I end up in Saudi-Arabia for work? It wasn't my plan... I just needed to get out of Finland during that time and do something extreme. One call to the agency, and next thing I noticed I was filling up the papers to Saudi! Nobody believed I was really going there, neither did I, but 6 months from that call I was packing my life to move to Saudi. 

I left with mixed feelings, didn't know what to expect, so I didn't expect anything. I only knew I will wear abaya for next one year and work like crazy! 
I landed in the scary Riyadh airport after midnight. Men all around and all looking at me! Where's my abaya?! Of course I didn't have one at the time..Only thing I knew I needed to get out of this airport as soon as possible, luckily after passport check there was a hospital sponsor waiting for me. 


It took me a short time to settle down around my hospital, I was open to everything! Seemed everyone were super friendly and helpful! I met loads of people, and started to make contact with the surroundings. Hospital was massive, things looked and sounded as if they were going smoothly there. But after working a while I started to notice many things that only sounded good but in reality they didn't actually work. As long as things were looking good to outsiders, people were satisfied with their work. That was hard for me, but then I realized it was impossible to come and change anything, only thing I could do is follow my nursing ethic and do my work, do my 12h shift and go home. 


What were your days off like, and your typical weekend like in Saudi?

Free time in Saudi surprised me in a positive way, there was loads of things to do on your days off. 

Many daily activities like dance lessons, pool days, tennis and gym kept us busy after work! On weekends we had dinners with friends, embassy events, desert walks and camping, snorkling in Jeddah! We did traveling around Middle East, around the world! I met awesome people in Saudi and shared these experiences that I could not have ever thought of experiencing back home! These experiences and possibilities kept me working there up to 2 years. 

I always admired your courage to walk long distances around the city, which is so uncommon in Saudi! There are no sidewalks and traffic is very unfriendly toward pedestrians. What sort of places would you usually walk to and how was your experience, did you get harassed a lot?


 We did walks around the city to the malls from the hospital compound even though it was a bit scary sometimes since the streets weren't made for walking! Many stares from men, but we kept walking! I missed the feeling back home where you could walk freely.

So now to the jail incident..
Tell us what was the situation before you were confronted by the Haia (muttawa)?
What were the factors that lead to your arrest?Were they accompanied with police officers?
How did the Haia treat you and others involved in the incident? Did you feel you were treated with respect? Did you understand what was happening at any point?

I had some incidents during my 2 years there with muttawa, but the scariest one was when I ended up in Saudi jail during Ramadhan. The worst nightmare I could ever think that could happen to me! I was asking my male Arab colleagues (western nationality) to pick me up after work for take away food. While we were waiting for the food to be ready, I decided to step out of the car and wait outside since it was crazy hot! In a few minutes there were muttawa and policemen around me asking questions! 

My friends were inside the restaurant picking up the food. Things started happening when they came out with the food, no questions were asked anymore, we were separated. I was put inside a different car and my friends were taken away in another. I sat in the back seat, doors were locked. I didn't know what was about to happen. I was scared, they took my phone and talked only in Arabic. I couldn't reach out to anyone! Worst case scenarios crossed my mind, horror stories that I had heard happening in Saudi to females - is it about to happen to me? 

After driving around quite along time, I was brought to a big building and saw Saudi females in their uniforms. I felt relief seeing females.. But when I was entering to the building I realized it was a Saudi female jail! I saw scary looking females banging the bars and screaming and crying! And in no time I found my self inside with them, I was so scared. I really thought they would hurt me. I was so shocked of the situation, I separated my self from everyone else, I was just sitting in a corner for hours.  


At the prison, who dealt with you, and how was their treatment toward you?
Did they search you and how was that done? Were you told what they were they jailing you for? Did you have a chance to inform your family or anyone from your employer?

 Female guards asked me to undress for 'inspection'...I was feeling a bit uncomfortable, because I was wearing a top and a short skirt under my abaya. Anyway had to do what they asked and so I removed my abaya. First thing I hear is laughter and words in Arabic, judging my outfit I assumed. I was asked to strip to my underwear and show that there was nothing inside my clothes. They kept looking and going around me, repeating the word mashallaah all the time. After having their fun, they were ready and I was put into the jail cell with my own clothes on. No one spoke in English nor even tried to explain what was the reason I was there at any point of my arrest or stay and no one told me how the process will continue later on. I tried asking many times can I make a phone call, or could somebody explain what will happen next.. but they just ignored.  

What was your prison cell like? 
Did you have other women sharing the same space? How did you spend your time there and how long were you in jail?
Did you get food, water and toilet facilities? What were your inmates like?


It was a big hall with many doorless rooms, in every room there was 6 bunk beds. There was maybe 40-50 prisoners in that area where I was. I saw females socializing with each other, they came to me offering food and water. I realized that these women were like me, jailed for similar cultural reasons like me. One had a newly born baby with her and quite many were with their kids there. 
In that big hall they had a washing room that included 5-6 toilets. Going to toilet, washing yourself, doing your dishes (people had their cups for food)all were done in that same space. Also the kids were washed there too. It wasn't too bad, but maybe too small for that amount of prisoners. 

Also there was a minimarket where you could do your shoppings, it was open certain hour a day. I didn't have any money so I couldn't buy anything, but some prisoners had some. I don't know how they had money since all my personal belongings were taken before they locked me in. In that shop they had snacks, toilet paper (yes you needed to buy your own toilet paper if you felt like you needed one) clothes, like pyjamas, hygiene stuff etc... 

As the night turned into morning, we were offered our first meal because it was Ramadhan also the prisoners had to fast. They threw a big tray on the floor for everyone to pick up their food from there. Next meal would be only later in the evening. I was starving between that time! My jailmates where friendly, and I had a few chats. But only thing in my mind was how to get out of here. They didn't allow me to call anyone, only asked few questions once a while.
I ended up spending two nights there because of the weekend.

What happened to the males involved in the incident?
Were you scared something serious would happen to you, or did you trust your sponsor to help you out?
How did you get out?


Afterwards I heard that my male friends were jailed also, but only for 1 night and were able to inform my family, friends, and the hospital about the situation. After the weekend was finished they called me out for an interview, I told the story as it was, signed some papers and then the officer said I was ready to leave. I couldnt believe it, the sponsor representative for these cases was there waiting for me to drive me back to hospital compound! I was so relieved I didn't care even if I was  going to be sent back home, I was only happy being safe! 

How did this whole incident make you feel? What are your thoughts afterwards?


I was lucky because my jailmates were super friendly to me, some of them gave me things to use. I remember one lady giving me a new pyjama to wear to feel a bit comfortable for sleeping. Most of the ladies in jail where from Asian countries like India, Philippines, Indonesia, Bangladesh. Many of them maids. I think I got along so well with them because my origins are Asian too. I never actually told them my real western nationality, I felt being 'one of them' would make my stay there easier, and it did. There was only one white western lady there, but she came just before I left. I saw her crying most of the time and nobody in jail tried to approach her and offer their friendship like they did to me. But she looked she didn't want to be approached either, I think she was having the first after shock hours like me when I got there. 
Things ended up well for me, but I'm sure not everyone will be as lucky as me if they would end up in the same situation! 

You always have such a positive outlook on things, I think that helps in coping with the sometimes stressful life in Saudi.
What would you give as advice to women living in or planning on moving to Saudi? How to cope with the different culture and customs?


 Respect the cultural rules, don't cross the boarders if you don't need to. Breaking the rules has consequences. It's hard in Saudi to adapt the western life style, but you should be aware that you are living in Saudi... exceptions may be allowed, but don't trust that you will always get away with it! 

I would recommend Saudi Arabia to anyone who is open for cultural differences, to new perspectives in life and who are easy going. Don't come to change things, come to experience. You wouldn't want to experience the same things that you have already experienced back home? Wishing everyone unforgettable moments in Saudi! I surely did and I'm happy I exceeded myself, my life is so much richer, full of great memories after Saudi!

Thank you very much for the interview and best wishes to you and your family!

Stuff That Annoys Me

I've noticed myself pretty annoyed lately. Lots of stuff going on last week. Some things in Saudi just tip off my irritation. I'm going to have to rant to let some steam out. If you're easily offended and don't have a sense of humor, stop reading now PLEASE.

What really gets to me is the DUST. Seems like it's been here since January. The last sandstorm started Thursday and only cleared up yesterday. Weather was perfect, headed out to the desert for a nice outing, were supposed to take friends with us that haven't been out for many years and after five hours of preparations and driving all the way there. BOOM. Sandstorm hits. Great. And it wasn't the type of somehow barely tolerable-kind. Nope. It had to be the brain-blasting, bloodstream-invading, eye-quenching, hair-raising type of a hell of a sandstorm.

After two days I got my usual sandstorm headache aka BRAIN BLUR and was not able to think, breathe, sleep let alone write anything intelligent.
The house should be cleaned every hourly if you like to have it clear of this nasty ass stuff. The dust is so fine and sneaky it seeps through the apartment building's downstairs door, then sneaks in through our front door, makes its way through the living room door to reach the kitchen door and finally arrives at the cupboard door only to creep inside the freakin sealed (or so I thought) boxes. Can you believe the nerve of this stuff??
I HATE DUST.

What else.
No one gives a damn about where they live. Seriously sometimes I think people here just live in pink bubbles floating around, oblivious to the world around them. Who cares if the street outside your house is full of trash? Who cares if there's a river of stinky sewage flowing through your neighborhood from a leaking septic tank and it's causing multiple health and environmental risks to inhabitants? Who cares if there's a pile of crap and rocks outside your window? Who cares if I park my car sideways and take up three reserved spaces? Who cares if the roads are not lit properly causing accidents and who gives a damn if they build a power plant next to your neighborhood?
Answer: NO ONE CARES.

How about service.
You know like customer service?
Why is it impossible to find good customer service here? You would think with all this money and having hundreds of employees in one store that there would be at LEAST one person who knows something. But no. That's just too much to ask for. And how about when you want to return something and they give you just a plastic card instead of money back? And then you go all the way to the other shop it works in only to realize they FORGOT to charge it. That is like someone handing you an empty cardboard box when you thought you were in fact purchasing a coffee machine. And then when you go back to show them their mistake you are not allowed to even return the EMPTY BOX.

So you go back to the original store (which btw is H&M in this case) with your empty card and the guy has to do the whole thing over again. Then another customer service killer expert comes in and suddenly tells you in a very rude manner that the items you've just successfully returned, cannot suddenly be accepted anymore. Because of policy he says. The first customer service hero did not know. So now you end up being forced to take the things back as well as your pathetic few riyals on the ridiculous plastic card which at this point you want to shove up the managers pants. Off you go after spending three hours with this disservice. At home you realize the dimwit manager stole your receipt and the rest of the stuff on it cannot therefore be exchanged. EVER. What would H&M headquarters in Sweden for example say to this "service"?
Answer: They would fire these incompetent rude idiots.

That reminds me.
I was trying to bake some Finnish cinnamon rolls also known as pulla the other day for a visit. We didn't have milk. But only in Saudi does this become a huge logistical issue. Obviously I'm not allowed to drive. Not even going to start on that one. Second, there's no supermarkets nearby I could walk to. Third, people don't walk anywhere, not even a 30 meters distance can be done without a car so there's no sidewalks or safe areas to walk on, IF I had somewhere to walk to. Fourth, I don't have a driver so I need to sit at home like a duck waiting for my husband to bring the milk after work. But he forgot and had to go somewhere else.
SO now what? Pulla needs to be ready in few hours. My husband has genius idea, he orders the milk from the small store and the Indian moped dude brings it over to me. Problem #5. I have no cash. Husband says it's not an issue.
Ok so dude arrives at door. I open and see the milk on the ground in front of me. I confirm with him that they agreed husband will stop by later to pay for the milk. He had a sudden change of mind. No ma'm BIG problem! I say no problem! This goes on for a while. I start feeling desperate and decide to snatch the milk from the ground. As I reach for it he tries to take it from my hands which should be a huge no-no here, to touch a woman like that.

I panic and slam the door closed. OOPS. I just sort of stole milk. Meanwhile the dude goes crazy, bangs on the door, shouts and rings the doorbell for at least half an hour. For SIX riyals. He could be a psychopath killer and I have just set him off. Imagine the headlines: Finnish woman killed In Saudi over milk bottle.
I start baking and realize that just because they don't allow women to drive I just had to go through this crap. How utterly ridiculous.
Why are we not allowed to drive again? Why are women forced to be nearly killed rather than drive to the supermarket, HUH???

How about professionalism then? Unheard of mostly. Ever heard of Handy Manny? In Saudi they are called Handless Headless Mannies. No skills, no training, no English OR Arabic language skills, no respect for others stuff, no common sense whatsoever.

Take a look at these pics:

Ladies and gentleman this is professional Saudi service at its finest. Words cannot describe my irritation when I saw this in our new apartment.
Did you blast it with dynamite? 
Can someone pass me the rifle?
Have you not painted a freakin wall before? You're supposed to remove the nails and smooth out the holes, not paint around them! If you're painting in a room full of furniture at least cover it or better yet take it to the nearby empty room! Don't use furniture to climb and stand on and don't scratch it! Don't you have your own freakin ladder or something? And for the love of God don't place the dirty items on the sofa when you're done! Did you think it was placed there for your convenience! I bet you took a nap on it too! When you're done clean up and air the room!

Ugh. And then last but not least. Saudi postal services. What freakin SERVICES? Took you two months to send a couple of freakin postcards by EXPRESS mail to Finland. WAY TO GO. Yeah, I know why. You're too busy sampling all the chocolates and other candies and reading through the women's magazines on your sugar high. I bet you took those ripped off pages from my health magazine home.

Saudi professional thieves and terminators I would say! Every single time I get a package from Finland you must snatch something or destroy something in it. You think you're clever huh? You think I don't notice when you take out something that has an actual packing list to go with it? You bastards. How dare you open my long awaited special 300g Finnish chocolate bar and munch on it and then PUT IT BACK IN half-eaten?
And btw the last item you STOLE was not real gold you chocolate monster. It's kids play money. You thought I wouldn't know my sister sent me three bags instead of two? WRONG.
I hope you almost choked on the Finnish salty licorice when you thought it's chocolate. Next time at least get rid of the evidence and throw away the empty wrappers.
And look what you missed from my latest package!

See that there? WINE gum. You have just allowed something that says "WINE" into Saudi-Arabia! So much for the censorship! As we would say in Finland: "Break yourself into small pieces".

That is all for now folks. Excuse my language. I'm off to bed.

Saudi Wedding Extravaganza

So I attended my first big wedding party (walimah) here in Riyadh! What an amazing experience!

Weddings are the most important social gatherings in Saudi. Often costing hundreds of thousands of riyals, this is the time Saudi families show off their wealth. The wedding party and all related expenses are usually paid by the grooms family but often the bride's family chips in as well. Weddings are always gender segregated but most of the traditions and customs vary from region to region.

This was a special evening because it was the first time my husband's entire tribe were going to see his western wife..So this would be the night all eyes would be on me to evaluate his choice of wife and to watch my every move. I felt an immense pressure to give a good first impression and also ease my husband's life by being accepted into the extended family. I'm the only westerner, mind you even the only non-Saudi married into the entire clan. Needless to say I was HORRIFIED.

In preparation I had tried to "Arabize" my appearance a bit ie had Arabic eyebrows done, colored my eyelashes black and had some extra lashes installed at the spa. I'd found a beautiful evening gown at the "Princess souq" for 15 riyals! However the tailor I took it to for adjusting managed to do the opposite I was asking for so I had to choose another dress last minute. My friend wore the princess souq dress and she looked stunning!Check out the dress here it's the blue one: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2012/02/princess-souq.html

My husband advised me that his family is so conservative that even in an all female setting bare shoulders would not be a good idea so I had a bolero with my strapless emerald green evening gown. When I saw how the women there were dressed I was so glad I listened to my husband not to be remembered as the the scandalous shoulder -baring western lady!

Most of my jewelry got damaged in a fire we had last year but lucky me a friend borrowed her beautiful gold and diamonds jewelry set. Another friend gave me a gold designer handbag and I had a pair of golden heels. Ended up spending only few hundred riyals for some kohl and purple eye shadow to pop out the green shade of my eyes to match the dress. A wedding hair stylist came to my house to make my hair wavy ( and BIG) as was the trend according to her.

Saudi weddings typically start very late and end in the early hours of the morning. I was told by many not to go too early (before 11p.m!) but this family was different! We came at 9 p.m and hundreds of women were already there. My husband went to the men's side and later told me was the last to arrive.

Most families will rent out huge wedding halls for the occasion. They are of course separated to men's and women's sides. The entrance to male section of the wedding is in the front of the building, open and elaborate and there will be a huge chandelier hanging in the entrance hall. The men's side is otherwise not very decorative. It's the women's hall that is full of flowers and other lavish decorations. Both sides will have expensive bohkoor burning at every corner.

The women's entrance on the other hand is closed and guarded. Even when the door opens there is no direct view into the actual hall. The door opens into a room with no mirrors so not even a reflection could be accidentally seen to the outside. There is an abaya cloakroom and a beautifying room for women to glam themselves up before making their grand entrance.

I was expecting that purses would be searched for cameras and phones confiscated but to my surprise nothing was said about my phone and the bag was left alone. I was able to snap some pics that night as well! All of the women were removing their ras abaya, (the most conservative over the head version) leaving them at the cloakroom run by African women. This room had mirrors all over and women were putting on lipstick and fluffing up their already HUGE hair. There was hairsprays and perfumes for women to use. I was already getting dizzy from all the sights, smells and sounds.

The women were all eyeing my friend and I probably trying to guess who we were. I saw women and girls pointing at me and whispering. Is that HER? She's american right? Amriki? The daughter-in-law of so and so?
I could feel the pressure building up and slowly moving up to my throat. Another African woman dressed in a strange white costume covered by a black sheer veil brought an incense burner in my face to puff the smoke around and I felt like choking. I was only at the entrance and I wanted to RUN! Get me out of here! I can't do this!

Thank God for my friend who came with me. She knows the brother of the bride from school in the U.S. She's also Arab so I had a translator as well as an emotional support for the evening. I don't know how I would've survived without her. We ended up having so much fun despite my failing nerves.

I was looking around and trying to recognize any familiar faces of the relatives. Honestly speaking the women all wore so much make-up I was having a hard time. Finally I saw one of the sisters. We asked her what we were supposed to do and she advised us to go inside the wedding hall and greet the women on the right side then take a seat anywhere. Sounds pretty easy and simple right? WRONG!

As we approached the wedding hall in all its glory the truth unfolded. There were about 40 women standing or sitting in a line waiting to greet the guests. In the background more women stood or sat watching the entering guests. On the opposite side was a line of another 40 or so women from the grooms side watching on. That's a total of about 600 eyeballs. I almost panicked but managed not to faint or scream in horror.

I had thought out a theme on what to say. It all sounded so nice and collected in my head. Salaam aleikum, alf mabrouk, kef halek, you look beautiful, mashallah and so on..But my mouth did not listen to my brain. There was some sort of miscommunication and I ended up mumbling whatever came out in random order. More like marhabalek-queisa-dulilah. It's too painfully humiliating to remember more clearly so I will move on.

It's custom for Saudi women to kiss one another on the cheeks while holding hands as a greeting. Sounds so simple again, doesn't it? NOPE. One woman might kiss you once on your right cheek and that's it. The next will hold your hand and kiss you once then pull you in for three times on the other side. The third one might kiss you back on forth on each cheek. Some women that are not particularly fond of western women marrying their men will not kiss you at all. As a young woman you're supposed to kiss some of the elderly women on the foreheads as sign of respect. Some of them will reject this, some will accept. Now try figuring out which woman is which type of kisser and do 40 in a row without accidentally landing someone a nose-ear-eyes or LIP kiss in the process. I must have offended 39/40 women in the line.

After the humiliation ceremony we proceeded to find a seat. Most of the tables were already taken so we walked all the way to the back to find an empty table. The hall was full of round tables and in the middle there was an aisle lined with plush arabic style sofas I'm guessing for the more important guests. The aisle had a red carpet sprinkled with rose petals leading to the stage which was elaborately decorated with flowers and vases and in the middle was a white leather sofa where the bride later sat.

Notice the little plastic water cup on the table? That was the only drink that was served during the dancing/waiting/ogling period. I was so thirsty that by midnight I swear I wanted to drink the water from the flowers and those small candle holders! The waitresses were serving chocolates, dates, salty pastries and more chocolates to make guests even thirstier. Arabic coffee, which I don't count as a thirst quenching drink was being offered every 5 minutes. I asked one the waitresses for more water and she angrily replied there's only one per guest and that I should have more coffee! Yikes. Ok. Chill. I'm just gonna sip on this 5 mls of coffee at a time and get more dehydrated from it. Did I mention I was also starving?

On the stage there were three African women that started playing drums called "duff" which is the only type of music that the most conservative people approve of. The women started singing Arabic songs and it was LOUD. I have been to rock concerts and stood next to the loudspeakers and been more comfortable. Women were starting to dance all around the hall. Some of the young women went on stage and there seemed to be no shyness whatsoever involved in their dance. Some girls were dancing VERY close together

Guests kept coming in and women kept eyeing us. All the tables were full now except ours. No one wanted to sit with us. We curiously watched how the women were dressed. Like my husband said, the fashion was definitely more conservative than I had heard rumors of. No bare backs, short skirts, bare shoulders or anything too sexy. Cleavage seemed to be ok though. There was however so much glitter, ruffles, lace, sequins, bows, bling bling and colors that it had my head spinning. Ultimate extravagance. The Oscars are nothing compared to this.

Most of the dresses were sort of tacky Saudi style you see in the malls, the kind I always wondered who wears this? Well now I know. Simple and sleek are NOT in. The more decorations on the dress the better! Many women had long trails on the dresses and plunging necklines were filled with gigantic jewelry. I mean out of this world in size. There also seems to be no rule of balancing the jewelry such as if you have a huge necklace, then no huge earrings, rings or bracelets. AS IF! Size and quantity does matter!

Despite the tackiness, exaggerated hair, heavy make-up and christmas-treeish outfits most of the women looked stunning. Some, looked umm..interesting. There was one particular lady wearing an extremely form fitting (read like sausage skin) evening gown made with what seemed thousands of small golden sequins. The dress had a long trail and a generous neckline to show off her enormous ahem goods including a solid gold necklace. Her assemble was so shiny I swear it might have done some damage to my eyes as I could not take my eyes off of it. Kind of like looking into solar eclipse.

I had never put this much make-up on but still I had the least stuff on my face from the wedding guests. The post I wrote earlier about the wedding make-up might have been a bit exaggerated but gives some guideline on how some of these women looked like. Some of the younger girls and women had less make-up on though.

The table next to us filled with teenagers all busy on their iPhones. I swear they were taking our pic secretly. I noticed the small children running around in pretty dresses upstairs and maids attending to them. Some of them waived to me and I smiled and waived back. Upstairs is where the bride stays hidden for most of the wedding. There is a room for her to get ready in and the groom and his father will come there for photography from the men's side. She eats in this room with the groom as well. There is a staircase lined with rose petals and a red carpet coming down from the room to the wedding hall.

Some examples of the dress styles.

At this point some of the bride's friends came to sit at our table (only seats available lol) and I talked to some of them (or rather shouted in their ears) who knew English well. They were all medical professionals, just graduated. Some of them had elegant and relatively simple dresses with not too much make-up. One of those girls narrated the whole wedding to me.

Next I started wondering how come some women were still wearing their hijab (head coverings). It's only females, why? Apparently for the older women it's a sign of status. But most shockingly I noticed there were women in abayas. And wait. Is that a woman wearing niqab? Why on earth would they come to a wedding in niqab? There was at least four such women in attendance who never removed their veils. One had pimped up the niqab with gold crystals. Read my previous post about women who even sleep in their veils here: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2011/06/eternal-veil.html

More chocolates, anyone?

For the majority of the wedding women sit and chat and ogle others dresses. Unmarried women will try to show off by dancing for the potential future mother-in-laws in hopes of being noticed as candidates. The dancing on the stage got more intense as the wedding proceeded in anticipation of the bride's appearance. Soon a belly dancer started performing on stage. She was actually a wedding guest in an evening gown but they switched the music to Egyptian and she started swaying around the stage while women excitedly cheered her on and started ululating. Kind of odd because I'm not used to women eyeing women like that but hey whatever rocks your boat.

The "Saudi" dance style is hard to describe. It's nothing like the belly dancing that first comes to mind when imagining Arabic dance but more like the men's sword dance in rhythm. The women sway their bodies, slowly moving sideways as if they are floating, their hips and upper bodies making rhythmic movements to the beat of the drums. The woman might hold her long skirt with one hand and wave the other hand in the air. Sometimes women will also swish their long hair back and forth. I love this type of dance! The rhythm is also very catchy. I don't know exactly how to master this dance although i'm pretty good at belly dancing ;) So I thought to myself, thank God I don't have to dance on the stage in front of everyone! Oh how wrong I was..

Here is the only clip I could find that has similar dancing to what can be seen at weddings and other women's functions. I could not find out if it has a specific name but this is labelled simply under "khaleeji dance".

Stay tuned for the second part of the Saudi wedding experience including the taunting bridal walk, my chicken dance and a lamb's butt surprise!

Part two: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2012/04/saudi-wedding-extravaganza-part-2.html

Top 10 Travel Destinations From Saudi

One of the advantages to living in the Middle-East and Saudi-Arabia is the travel opportunities it opens. Many places become geographically closer for the expats coming from the Americas, Europe and Asia. Travel is also relatively affordable and there are direct flights and good flight connections from Saudi and the GCC countries. Many expat workers have 50+ annual leave days a year as benefits to use for travelling!

During my four years here I traveled to 15 different countries for a holiday directly from Riyadh. Some of them are worth mentioning so here goes: My top 10 places to travel to from Saudi-Arabia in no particular order:

1. Qatar

The reason I like Qatar so much is that it manages to keep its traditions alive without drowning in the commercial madness like neighbors Dubai and Bahrain. Qatar has almost a small town feel to it despite the emerging skyscrapers. Some of the ME best museums and cultural villages can be found here. The numerous souqs have been restored and wandering among them feels like stepping back in time. Qatar also has great restaurants and beaches for those in search of a beach holiday!

2. Maldives
The ultimate honeymoon and couples destination is easily reached with a 6 hour flight from Riyadh. Picture perfect beaches and world class diving await the visitors. Still on my bucket list!

3. Oman
IMHO the world's most hospitable people are the Omanis. I have never felt so welcomed and my every need and wish catered to than in Oman. Some examples of the Omani people's character: I traveled here alone so I felt a bit awkward at times as a female in an Arab country. However I was not harassed once! One time as I was collecting small pink seashells from the beach a group of young Omani boys came to help me. After we had gathered a large amount I thanked them and  being accustomed to the thought of little boys only doing such arduous jobs for money thought to myself, they surely want to get paid now! As I was handing over some cash for them to go buy ice cream they all firmly refused. I was insisting but they declined and smiled and told me it was a gift. I thought it was the perfect example how Omanis don't see tourists as only walking money machines but as honored guests to their beautiful country.
Oman has many places worth seeing, the capital Muscat has a mystical feel to it and it's nothing like the other busy, crowded and materialistic GCC countries. The country is full of interesting historical sites and amazing landscapes. Oman is one of the few places in the world where tourists can be 100% sure to be able to watch sea turtles come to shore to lay their eggs. Beach destination Salalah is worth a mention as well.

4. Sri Lanka

Easy and cheap to reach from Riyadh with a direct flight, Sri Lanka is an enchanting little island in the Indian Ocean. A nice combination of nature, culture and people, Sri Lanka has surprisingly many options for the traveler despite its small size. The magnificent tea farms and majestic mountains make for wonderful trekking opportunities! There are palaces and temples to explore, traditional dances to see, delicious spicy food to enjoy and bustling little cities and towns waiting to be explored. And of course some pretty amazing beaches!

5. Jordan

Very easily reachable from Saudi even for an extended weekend, Jordan is an absolute must see destination! From Amman the Dead Sea is quick to reach and the spas dotted along its coast are just divine! We stayed at Movenpick and loved the tranquil atmosphere.
The world famous tombs of the Nabatean people can be seen in Petra. This place is crowded with tourists year round and its best to book early for peak seasons. The ancient site is surrounded by the most strangely shaped beautifully colored mountains. Jordan has plenty of other historical sites and a beach destination Aqaba as well.

6. Hong Kong
The dynamic Hong Kong has something for everyone! Worth a visit on its own but also great for a stop-over when continuing further east.

7. Tanzania

 The best safari experience I had so far has been in Serengeti and Ngorongoro crater. Especially during the great migration this place is truly magical! A visit to Tanzania would not be complete without seeing Zanzibar, the Spice Island! One of those few places left where the only people on the beach besides you are the local fishermen. Amazing diving!

8. Kuwait
Saudi-Arabia's tiny little neighbor is greatly under valued as a tourist destination. Only an hour flight away from Riyadh, Kuwait is definitely worth a weekend trip and great for a quick getaway from Saudi. Personally I like the vibe here more than for example Dubai. Read more about Kuwait here: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-saudi-arabia-could-learn-from.html

9. Malaysia
Very popular among Saudi tourists, Kuala Lumpur and Langkawi are the best know destinations in Malaysia. But this country has so much more to offer! Diving, trekking, history, rain forests, wildlife, architecture, shopping..Malaysians are known for their courtesy and fabulous food! My absolute favorite place in Malaysia is the tiny island of Perhentian Kecil!

10. Turkey
Particularly Istanbul! Check out my pictures from Istanbul to understand why it's worth a visit! http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2011/10/incredible-istanbul.html

Now I've caught the travel bug!! What places would you add to the list?

P.S. Apologies for poor quality of the images, all my travel photos were destroyed after my computer crash last year so these are only copies from my Facebook files.

Blog Hate Mail: The Hall Of Shame

Every once in a full moon I get hate mail or just hateful comments on the blog. I guess it's normal. Haters gonna hate.

Naturally there will be people who will disagree on what I write or how I view things. But some of those are just negative envious haters that thrive on trashing others. Putting others down makes them feel better about themselves. Negative people also cannot stand positive people. I bet I get on their nerves! Others are just ignorant and rude by nature and nothing can be done to change that.

Predominantly these comments have come from Saudis, some women who pretended to be my friends from the hospital I worked in, and unfortunately Muslim women suffering from the Holier than thou- personality disorder.

Usually I just delete these comments or don't bother to respond because if a person has made up their mind then there's nothing much I can do or even care to do. I see it as a waste of time to get into an argument with these type of people. Everything I would say to such a close-minded person would just backfire. So I usually just leave them to their sorry existence.

I have however saved the "best" comments in my comments box. These actually had me cracking up because of their absurdity, incomprehensibility or just plain humor factor. It is time to open the can of worms! I will expose these comments now and let you laugh at them too because honestly, that's the only thing these people deserve. Here is the Blue Abaya Hall of Shame!

One of the first comments I saved was this one:
"You're offensive to all women because you are so ignorant. Your giving finnish people, blonde women, and all expat nurses a bad name. Clearly you lost your grip on reality a long time ago. Go work somewhere else so you won't take **** down with you. Signed, Normal and Sane Expat Nurses."

So this is what "normal, sane" nurses think? Wow. Kinda scary actually. My mother is a psychiatrist and she tells me how shocking it is that the largest group of psychiatric patients that come for treatment are actually nurses. The above comment is a prime example of people in dire need of help!

The saddest thing about this comment is that it's obviously coming from a person/persons (or maybe person with multiple personalities??) who knows me. Perhaps even a so called friend also known as a back stabber. I knew many friends women that all turned their backs on me after I converted and met my husband. And when my back was turned the knives were thrown! Some even continue their hatred to this day.

This is a prime example of jealousy among women, the ignorance and prejudice some expats have of their host country, and the hatred toward Saudis and Islam some feel.The mention of "loosing grip on reality" is direct referral to my conversion. When a western woman converts to Islam most other westerners here will start calling them crazy or delusional.

Oh and I had to censor the name of the hospital to prevent people from thinking it's a looney bin because of this comment!

Btw I wonder how exactly I am tarnishing the name of blonde women in particular since I thought blondes are considered dumb, slow and "easy"? So what's there to tarnish LOL

Ok. So how about this classic:
"Laylah: if you don't like Saudi Arabia, just leave the country ; Or you trying to prove that you are real hypocrite ? Why you live if you don't agree with the 1) Laws of the country 2) Regulations of the country 3) Legislations of the country You say you are finnish, and we know how clean the finnish people are ?! I am sure the mutawwas didn't teach you or your husband that in Saudi Arabia after relieving one has to use water or you go to Jail for being dirty, filthy or unhygienic ( b*** crust people )"


What can I even begin to say to this anal person? Hey news flash I do like the country (unlike many expats here!) but there just isn't a country in the world that doesn't have its problems. Saudi has many issues and I write about them honestly and to the point. Sorry if you can't handle the criticism of your perfect country Mr. Clean Butt. Btw laws, regulations and rules are actually the same thing.


Oh, and no thank you to the muttawa coming to teach me how to wipe my a*****e. I'm sure you enjoyed it very much though. I did not know this was included in their services so thanks for the info anyways.


The next hate comment I saved was posted as a reply to a comment "Saudi Princess" left on the article "Tourism in Saudi-Arabia Faces Many Obstacles". The Princess wrote how she thought allowing tourists into Saudi would contaminate her country, how brothels would start popping up and alcohol would be served everywhere(as if the Saudis are not already doing a pretty good job on all of those). Check the full post and comments here: http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2011/09/tourism-in-saudi-arabia-faces-many.html

This is the reply of Hijabi:
"With all respect, but I agree with Saudi Princess. I dont know whether you are a convert to Islam or not, but to me you just cause a lot of fitna with this blog. Alot of negativity and anger towards the saudi way of life on this blog. So sad.. Also...your liberal, progressive Islam bothers me. Because there is no liberal Islam.. Your post about polygamy really shocked me! you speak with so much arrogance about how polygamy is not necessary and how it should disappear beceause your nafs is not able to handle some parts within Islam.. Always keep in mind that all these words that u write will be held against you on the Day of Judgement. Your blog and your view on certain parts of Islam is exactly the reason why western people shouldnt come to saudi! They try to change Saudi into something more western! As read on your blog, western people and even some locals dont appreciate al mutawa but to be honest, they cant appreciate it because they want to be free, and go agains the rules and dresscodes within Islam. So happy the borders are so strict and I hope they make them even more stricter!"

Oh goodness. Can someone please pass the screwdriver?

I'm pretty fed up of hearing this type of BS coming from muslim women. Did she even read the article? How can someone think the article is negative in any way? Only a person wallowing in negativity would.

My liberal, progressive Islam that bothers her. You know what? God gave me a brain so I could think for myself. That's actually how I found Islam, by questioning, reasoning, reading and realizing. It's not my problem if you can't handle the FACT that Muslims will always have different opinions on things. Not all muslims are brainwashed into thinking and following blindly.

Not everyone is going to agree with you Ms."I write a make-up and false eyelashes blog but I like to judge other muslim women for having liberal views"-Hijabi. I don't really care what your views are either way it's what conclusions you came to and it's fine by me . But don't come here to judge me and feel sorry for me and then in the next sentence say I am arrogant. Look whose talking.

Don't even get me started on muttawa and freedom. Those two words do not even belong in the same sentence! Most Saudis will agree.

Then check out what the Holiest of All wrote:
 You are extremely rude...and arrogant..you should read what you wrote. Extremely condescending. I don't know who you think you are..oh yes...a white "princess" married to a rich Saudi..so what...get a grip..you seem to have the typical snotty manners of a European...even when they convert they lack manners...subhanallah...go pray 2 rakaahs asking for forgiveness for being so ignorant, horrid and absolutely snotty. If you are so busy and get a gazillion comments then hey...don't blog..not that you have anything interesting to read..I just wanted to know where I could purchase this abaya and you didn't even have that information....whatever...inshallah I hope you learn proper muslim manners...but it seems you've learned SAUDI manners...I pray Allah gives you hidaya and you should go read the Hadith Qudsi...Arrogance belongs to Allah not women such as yourself..."


Manners, manners, manners..Sigh. This was the reply I decided not to post because of its personal offense that goes against comments policy (read our conversation and the post here http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/05/blue-harbour-exhibition-in-riyadh.html and you be the judge if what she said is true or was I in fact trying to answer her weird question ) Here it is now in all it's hate and glory. 
What a brilliant example she gives of "proper muslim manners" huh? 

Some recommended reading.


I'm going to skip all the miserable nonsense in the beginning and just comment on the "gazillion comments -don't blog"-equation. I find this conclusion very interesting. So a blogger that has lots of comments should stop blogging? Struggling to find time to reply means I shouldn't even bother writing my uninteresting posts? Hmm...


Arrogance belongs to Allah?? Where did that come from!
I wonder what she has against Europeans? Actually, I really don't care. 

And then finally this comment which just made my day:
"Laylah, I think one of these days you'll get reported to saudi authorities and your HATE BLOG will be shut down. I think you are crossing the RED line here. I have been through your HATE BLOG and its FULL of HATRED against saudi people, saudi culture and traditions. If you don't like it here, LEAVE! My comment is not about 'staring' but rather your HATE BLOG in general."


Ladies and gentleman I think we have a winner here! Mrs. HATE posted this comment on the "Letter to Saudi Women Please Leave My Husband Alone"-post. Like I mentioned in the beginning of that post (which can be read here http://blueabaya.blogspot.com/2010/09/plea-to-saudi-women-please-leave-my.html) it was highly unlikely the letter would ever reach any of these women in question. 

It took over a year but finally BINGO! Even though she tries to convince us she is not commenting on the staring aka bad manners, but reading between the lines here and just the "subtle" tone of her comment..I think this post hit a sore spot. Ouch!

FYI I'm not going to leave Saudi. I like it here and have a good life. My husband is one of those one in a million men out there (which I doubt you wouldn't know of), I have a beautiful happy daughter, wonderful friends, we travel a lot around this amazing country and we just moved to a dream apartment in DQ..So sorry to disappoint you dear.

If anyone is ever going to report this blog it would be such a person as you and you most likely already did it because..

Phew. I feel like I have taken out the garbage now! What a stinky pile of crap there was lying around in the comments box.

Thank God I get so much more grateful and positive feedback from all over the world which keeps me going. I will leave you with an email comment I recently received from a new fan of Blue Abaya:

"Really an interesting initiative to discuss Saudi culture and its implications in a respectful manner as done by you. I appreciate your use of proper language in discussing issues in which you tend to differ with the local people.

If only, every culture around the world had a Laylah."

Have a nice day everyone!

Ten Things That Make Me Happy

This Tuesday Ten will be a light-hearted post to balance out the recent heavy topics that have been discussed on Blue Abaya :)
I got this meme from a fellow Finnish expat blogger Heli who currently resides in Norway. Thank you Heli! Her Norwegian Diary blog (in Finnish language) can be found here: http://norjalainenpaivakirja.blogspot.com/.

So the idea is to list ten things that get you in a good mood. Pretty easy! And then pass it on to five other bloggers.
Here's my list:

1. My daughter's smile. She smiles all the time, even if I need to wake her up in the middle of the night she will smile for me. If I'm dead tired or suffering from a case of morning crankiness she manages to lighten up my mood with her sunshine smile.

2. Travel. Whenever I get the chance I want to travel! If only to a place we haven't been to in the nearby desert, travelling and exploring new places just makes me happy and elevates my mood.

3. My nieces. I miss them so much! We try to Skype as often as we can and my daughter gets so excited on the Skype she cannot control herself and wants to go kiss and hug her cousins. As much as it cheers me up it does also sometimes make me sad they are so far away though.

4. Pancakes. The Finnish kind. It's never too late or too early to have pancakes! Pancakes can totally save a crappy day. Last week my husband made me pancakes two times! Once at 5 am when I couldn't sleep and the other time was for a surprise breakfast in bed.

5. My husband. Nobody makes me laugh like my husband! He always manages to make me in a good mood no matter how bad the day was.

6. Animals. Mainly my own pets but all watching all kind of animals makes me happy as long as they are not being mistreated which is when I get EXTREMELY upset.

7. A walk in the park. Not too many options in Riyadh but my favorite is the Diplomatic Quarter's astonishing well groomed and private parks.

8. The Ocean. Whether it's swimming or diving in it or just the fresh ocean breeze, the calming sound of the waves or the salty water splashing on my face when sailing, the ocean will always make me happy and relaxed.

9. Helping someone become happy. It makes me happy to make others happy. Satisfied patients are guaranteed to put me in a good mood.  A happy husband makes a happy wife. I hope I can make my family happy although we are so far away now. I love seeing my friends enjoy their time and I love organizing parties!

10. A good night's sleep. Which used to mean 12 hours for me but now I will be ecstatic to catch more than 6 hours of undisturbed sleep at any hour of the day!

Passing this on to:
Om Lujain at Ramblings of a Saudi wife http://lostinriyadh.blogspot.com/
Carol at American Bedu http://americanbedu.com/
Noor at Little Pink Strawberries http://littlepinkstrawberries.blogspot.com/
D at the Camel and the Kangaroo http://thecamelandthekangaroo.wordpress.com/
Anne at Helvatianmoista elamaa http://helvetiassa2.blogspot.com/