One thing I will never understand about Arab culture is telling lies. It's just so common in the Arab world for men to lie to their womenfolk. Men lie to their wives, to their mothers, sisters, and kids. Women are almost always the targets of these lies. The Arab man is the master of all types of lies.
I come from a culture of a respect for absolute honesty. Finns are the most honest people you will find on earth. We always top the corruption studies as the number one least corrupt country. Finns can leave their doors open and always return lost wallets, some with all the money in there. Even our politicians are honest (well ok not ALL)!
So the lying Arab male to me is like a red flag in front of my eyes and seeing this phenomenon makes smoke come out of my ears and nostrils!
What could be behind all this lying?
An Arab man is brought up surrounded by liars. He will grow up seeing how his father lies to his own mother on a continuous basis without any consequences. Maybe his father took more wives and was dishonest with the first wife, and of course the second one. Nobody will know the truth except the men.
The boy adapts this seriously screwed-up model in his own life and applies to his wife and own children. Men are basically honest with each other, but with women for some reason they are not able to be truthful 100% of the time. Some not even 2% of the time it seems.
The Arab man will tell white lies to his wife all the time. Some are "innocent" with no bad intentions, but lies nevertheless. But even if the man supposedly sincerely (only an Arab man can lie sincerely) means good with his lie, it doesn't mean it is not going to hurt the recipient. White lies can also hurt the most.
Sometimes he will make black, ugly-ass lies to get himself out of trouble. We have a saying in Finland that is very fitting for the description "kuin koira veräjästä" meaning he will take the easy way out, or literally "escape like a dog from the back door".
The sad thing is that being a big fat liar is a perfectly normal status for him. The Arab man does not even feel ashamed of lying. You will never find him apologizing or begging on his knees for the wife to forgive his idiotic actions even though that would be the right thing to do.
He thinks it's his birth-right to lie to women.
Especially if it is to "protect" the woman.
A typical Arab guy will never tell his womenfolk the absolute truth about his financial situation. Arab men are experts at hiding assets and keeping purchases, loans or bankruptcy from the women of the family. Is it because they think women are too emotional to handle anything deemed serious? Do they view women as stupid and incapable of handling finances? Do they think telling women about finances will cause the poor women to faint or start ululating and pulling their hair out in shock of how lousily he has dealt with money?
Are Arab men really so dumb to think women don't have a clue?
Well I have a newsflash for those dumb-asses out there: You are probably the one with only clues. Your wife most likely is the one with more sense and when it comes to money-issues if given a chance would excel you in them.
Men like this are simply weak and afraid of women. Afraid that they will be better and take control.
The Arab man has to always be in control. His pride is too high for anything else. By lying he thinks takes control. But of course, he is wrong. This is the only conclusion I can make from this idiotic habit of compulsive lying. Or then they are just cowards. Too scared of the truth and rather hide behind ridiculous stories.
How does this happen, seriously I just don't get the mentality behind it. How does a man come to think it's better to lie to the wife than tell the truth? He will get caught someday anyways, so why not be honest from the beginning? Why take the extra drama and hurt feelings? Wouldn't it actually be easier on him to come forth with the truth right from the start?
So what if the woman gets hurt or upset from what he has to say? She will get a MILLION times more upset about the lie AND the action. If she were to know beforehand, she might get upset at first but at least being honest with her would lessen the hurt.
Why is it so common for Arab men to lie to women? Withholding the truth is just another form of lying! Also, how do women come to accept this, because it wouldn't be so common if more women viewed as unacceptable right?
P.P.S. I realize men lie all over the world, even Finnish men. No need to remind me of that, but the post is about this specific cultural phenomenon.