Thank you my dear Saudi patients!

Dear patients,

I wanted to write this letter to all of you to express my gratitude for everything you have given me during the years. I will not be seeing you for a while because I will soon be going on maternity leave.

It is all of you wonderful patients that I will miss the most from the ward. You have been the reason for me to keep coming to the work despite the difficulties I've had with some staff members. There were mornings when I wanted to hide under my blanket and not go to work but then I remembered one of you and got up with a smile on my face.
Everyday I had a chance to meet one of you lovely and friendly Saudis.

Some of you were very sick and depressed, yet you always had a smile to offer to me. I want to thank you for making my day so many times. I hope somehow I could have made your day brighter and given you hope through your stay at the hospital.

Thank you for showing me the Saudi hospitality, even if you were very poor, you still wanted to offer something to show your gratitude. And the countless times you offered me arabic coffee or tea, chocolates and dates and other special Saudi sweets. I enjoyed those moments chatting with your families, you made me feel welcome and accepted me for who I was. I am grateful for the times you invited me to sit down with you on the carpet you had placed on the floor and offered me to join you for dinner. Pardon me if I did not always have the time to join, I still appreciated the gesture.

Thank you for all the good laughs we have shared. You've showed me a sense of humor and understanding a joke is universal despite our cultural differences. You showed me Saudi people have a great sense of humor!

Thank you for teaching me about Islam and for all the books, Qurans and tapes you've given me. Especially for the ones in my own language which you managed to find!

Thank you for teaching me Arabic and being patient with me if I did not know the correct phrases.
Thank you for the invitations you made to your houses, farms and weddings and apologies for not being able to attend them all.

I've learned a great deal about the Saudi way of life because of you. I will be forever grateful to have had the chance to get to know you and help you.

You've showed me that all of us, men and women, whatever our religion or nationality, share the same hopes and dreams in our lives. Ultimately, we are all the same.

Illness brings out the same reactions in all humans everywhere in the world. You showed me your vulnerable side, the side often hidden from public eyes.

As this chapter in my life ends I wish you good health and all the best.
I will miss you and hope to return to my job someday!

Yours,
Laylah

Expats in Saudi-Arabia and Learning Arabic

Many western expats come to the Kingdom for employment not knowing a word of Arabic and that is unfortunately also how they end up leaving. I could strongly recommend expats planning to come to work in Saudi-Arabia to try learning some basic Arabic even prior to arrival. Once here I would recommend attending the courses provided by employers or independent companies and language institutes. If the expat is motivated enough, it's possible to pick up a lot on your own too. I learned my Arabic skills mostly on my own from patients and co-workers and then later went to the classes and learned to read and write Arabic.

Learning the native language of the country one chooses to work in is an act of respect toward that culture and its people. Needless to say it will greatly improve the working experience and time spent in the country. When locals see a foreigner who has gone through the trouble of learning some of their language it creates a positive atmosphere for interaction with them. Many Saudis actually don't understand or speak conversational English and some don't know any words at all. Even some of the middle class and higher class families I've noticed that their English skills are just not good enough to hold even a simple a conversation. For healthcare workers in particular I find language skills would be essential to create a trusting relationship with the patients.

For me personally learning Arabic has made a huge difference in patient care settings and I've found it greatly rewarding. Patients are always showing their gratitude and respect of the foreign nurse being able to explain procedures and ask questions in their own language. It builds trust and mutual respect.

I've noticed that for some reason learning Arabic is the last thing some expats want to do.They would rather spend time within their own circles and are not interested in the local culture at all. In my opinion they are also in a way being disrespectful toward the locals. It's like seeing ones own culture as superior to others.

On the other hand take a look at the exemplary Asian nurses. They will all without exception be willing to learn Arabic and soon have basic language skills to communicate with their patients. Many times western nurses rely on the Asian colleagues to come translate and explain things. Amazingly Asians don't even necessarily go to language courses-they learn on their own and pick up Arabic really quickly.

Why is it that for westerners it seems to be such a huge step to take? Do they have a really bad attitude towards the language itself, or is it the culture as a whole, I wonder? I have heard all kinds of excuses over the years, all of which in my opinion are just that, excuses!
Here are some of the most common reasons people give for NOT wanting to learn Arabic, and my encouragement to learn ARABIC!

"Why should I learn a language I won't need anywhere else?"

You never know if you will face a situation you could make use of your skills! Learning a new language is always good brain exercise, it actually improves the memory and performance of the brain. It feels rewarding and satisfying to learn something new and to succeed.

"I am only coming for a year I don't need to learn Arabic"

More often than not people plan on coming to Saudi-Arabia for one year and then end up staying many. And in any case why not make that one year more tolerable, rewarding and make easier on yourself? Make the most of that one year! There are many quick crash course you can take and they don't take up much of your time but you will benefit hugely form your new skills.

"I can communicate well enough with body language"

Body language in fact varies a lot from one culture to another and can confuse more than explain things. This also frustrates patients and colleagues a lot.

"I don't want to learn their stupid language it sounds funny/vulgar/disgusting/ridiculous"

To this quite arrogant approach one could say, do you think your own language sounds less funny to others? I know Finnish language doesn't sound pretty to many but so what? Arabic language has some unique syllables which can be hard for foreigners to pronounce, but that is the richness in the language.

"This is supposed to be an English-only workplace"

English is supposed to be the language that co-workers use between each other in many work places including the hospitals but dealing with clients/patients is where Arabic becomes essential. Despite the English only rule, many Arab co-workers will still be conversing in Arabic.

"Upon recruitment I was informed I am not required to know or learn any Arabic in my work"

Recruitment often does this "mistake" to make it sound easy to come to work in the ME, they just want to recruit you! I believe this is one of the reasons behind bad attitudes of nurses coming from western countries. But upon realizing how the situation is in reality one can always make the required adjustments and learn Arabic!

"I can use a translator"

Translators are rarely available and they are often not even qualified as translators. A translator can basically be any Saudi that speaks even a few words broken English and therefore there's a risk of the message being distorted by the interpretation of the translator.

"I could be willing to learn some words but I don't want to take the course because you have to learn the Arabic letters."

Learning the Arabic alphabet is very important for correct pronunciation of the words. It is virtually impossible to teach the language without learning the alphabet because there are no equivalents in the English alphabet.For example there are five different T's in Arabic language. Incorrect pronunciation can lead to mistakes like calling a cardiologist a dog doctor!

To make the best out of your stay in Saudi-Arabia, take the effort to learn some Arabic. This will greatly help you in your everyday activities and communication. You will also improve your chances of getting to know and communicate with more Saudis!

Cover your hair! Cover your face! Lower your gaze.

I ran into way too many members of Hai'a recently and had to write a post about their unislamic behavior. It seems to me as if it's becoming worse lately. What really upsets me is how ruthlessly they harass women. I've taken a habit now of answering their hateful comments of covering by replying "Lower your gaze". It seems to work because the muttawa get an empty look on their faces and eventually leave. Could it be because they actually feel a tiny bit of guilt somewhere in the deepest corners of their minds? Or perhaps they go into shock because a woman is challenging them? It does seem to create confusion. I guess they don't have a "Lowering Gazes" or "Respecting Women's Privacy" class in Muttawa School.

Check out my previous post on muttawa encounters here.

The Hai'a seem to have picked Hayat Mall as their new favorite place to terrorize people, sorry women that is.
The muttawas in question did not even have the police with them. I saw a few different groups of them grazing the mall. One was a gang of three very young muttawas, the tallest had the Harry Potter cape on. I wonder if their beards were even real, they looked no more than 21 years old to me.

This gang actually had the nerve to start following my friends around the mall, waiting outside stores so they could shout at us again. My friends like most western women here don't cover their hair. So we start hearing over and over "cover you hair". The scarves were wrapped on but the muttawas still didn't leave! They were waiting to get another go at us if the scarves happen to slip off. It's as if they just want to check us out! This really irritates me because I know my friends feel anxious, cornered and even fearful because of their behavior. I wanted to stop it so I ended up having to remind the men to lower their gazes. Why are they staring at us in the first place? Have they forgotten this verse from the Quran:

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do."

Better that we women remind these poor brothers of their duty to lower their gazes since it seems they have totally forgotten it!I think women should stand up to this kind of madness and not let them treat us like cattle or pieces of meat!

On another occasion a pair of old baba muttawas attack us, a group of women doing some shopping and minding our own business. They shout "Cover your hair" while angrily pointing a finger at my friends one at a time singling them out and approaching us. He then turns to me and shouts "cover your face!" I was like what the fatwa? I've never heard that before, I thought they only said that to Saudi women. I pointed my finger back at him and said "why don't you lower your gaze?" He just looked at me dumbfounded with an empty expression on his face. I thought perhaps he did not understand so I repeated myself in a louder voice please LOWER YOUR GAZE. He hesitated for a second, but then they left.

What does Hadith say about lowering gazes?

"I asked Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) about the sudden glance (that is cast) on the face (of a non-Mahram). He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes." Hadith - Sahih Muslim 5372, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah Note it says a glance at the FACE. And the solution here, is it for the woman to cover her face? No- for the man to lower his gaze. Now this could lead to a whole other conversation of the niqab and is it compulsory but my point is the responsibilty here is placed on the man.

So why are the supposedly pious muttawa allowed to so blatantly stare at women and not lower their gazes?
That is just absurd. It's also giving a really negative image of Islam to westerners here and when they return to their home countries this is one of the messages that spreads about the country and the religion. I hate it when my friends start saying bad things about Islam that are not true. It all stems directly from the actions of these men.
I try to explain that what some Muslims do is not necessarily what Islam teaches. I have a feeling my words are nothing in the face of the atrocious actions of the muttawa.

I encourage other women being harassed by muttawa to give them a stern reminder to lower their gazes.

U.S. Embassy Riyadh aka Bureau of Ignorance

The U.S embassy in Riyadh recently rejected my husbands visa application after having him waiting for over a YEAR for it to be processed. That's longer than any of the developing countries like say Zimbabwe would take to process any kind of applications. So now they finally decided to inform him it has been denied because they obviously suspect him of something sneaky. Ridiculous!!!

We've wanted to travel to Hawaii for a long time and of course my husband wants to visit his dear friends there so last year he decided to apply for the visa, that was around August. After having lived in the States for 15 years, over half of his life, it feels like a second home to him and we were really looking forward to flying over last year.
After my husband applied, the embassy did not reply his emails and enquiries about the application process. They just said he had to wait. Every once in a while he would ask about it but nothing happened. We had to change our travel plans and decided to postpone our trip.
Months went by with no word from them. In the meanwhile my husband would obtain a Shengen visa two times with no difficulties.

Then this October they suddenly contacted him wanting to have an interview. Finally we thought some progress and the news article seemed promising, stating "It now only takes nine days to get an interview appointment for a visa at the US Embassy in Riyadh, and a maximum of four weeks to receive the visa afterward". They asked to see my husbands previous passport, which had visit visas to the States, latest just two years back actually.

He arrived for his interview and was then was made to wait in the embassy for three hours for his interview which was conducted by some senior terrorist investigator visa official. They were particularly interested in what my husband had been doing working as a volunteer for an Islamic organization over 10 years ago when he was a teenager. Seriously, first of all this is a reputable organization and it was so long ago, suddenly it is an issue? Where is the logic? Oh, yes because it's an Islamic organization. But has he ever commited any crimes or violations or acted in any way suspicious?? Why did it take over a year to reach this decision? How come he was issued visas many times before? Since when did volunteer work and doing something good become a crime? Oh yes-of course when it's done for an Islamic cause.
This is so maddening and ridiculous, they should be ashamed for this stupidity! Clearly they suspect my husband is involved in something fishy in other words terrorism. What a great example yet again of the Great American Ignorance and prejudices.

Some goon representative from the Ignorance Bureau even said in the article "the US Embassy is delighted at the growing number of visa applications by Saudis" and they have "strong commitment to encourage Saudis to go to the US for education, business and other purposes" 
Ya right, what a JOKE!

Saudis And Finns-The Ultimate Survivors

I noticed saying to myself, it's starting to get a little chilly in Riyadh..Actually it was "only" +30C..How embarassing for a Finn! But it looks like winter is around the corner. Saudis have started switching to their thick wool abayas and thobes and my patients have the heating on full blow in their rooms.
Finns and Saudis might well be the last survivors if the world's temperature went in either extreme points. Both nations have ultimate endurance for cold/heat.
Here is a temperature table I created to illustrate how the Saudis and Finns would deal with such extremes:

+1063 C Gold starts melting. Saudi women take off their abayas.

+600 C Crude oil reaches boiling point. Saudis are happy they no longer need oil refineries.
Saudi camels complain of the burnt taste of the grass.

+100 C Water boils. Saudis turn on their air-conditioning.
The swimming pools in Saudi-Arabia now have warm water in them.
The only other surviving humans are Yemeni bedouins who covered themselves in mud and hid in the mountains.

+70 C The Saudis have changed to summer abayas and thobes.
The rest of the world has immigrated to Antarctica.
The Saudi camels ask to get shaved for the summer.

+60 C Saudis lower their car windows for a fresh breeze.
Saudi camels are enjoying the crisp air.

+45 C Saudis feel comfortable and have turned the heaters off. The weather is nice and cool for spring, time to plant some flowers and go camping in the desert.
The Spaniards all flock to the Alps.

+35 C The remaining survivors of the heat wave in Finland die.
The Saudis change into their winter thobes and abayas.
Saudi camels complain of the draft in the desert.

+25 C A heat wave warning is issued in Finland. Finns start to die from the heat stroke. Clothing has been shed off and Finns are naked.
Saudi camels start growing their winter coats. Saudis turn their heaters on.

+20 C The Finnish people are starting to get uncomfortable. They have shed all their clothing down to bathing suits to cope with the heat.
Saudis no longer venture out of their heated homes where they sit in their farwas (furs). The camels complain of frost on the grass.

+15 C
The Finns are sunbathing.
The Saudis start lighting bonfires inside their living rooms in order to survive the cold.
Finnish cows are shaved and fed grass popsicles to cope with the heat.

+10 C
The Finns are planting flowers in their gardens.
Saudis start dying of cold weather.
The French are eating frozen baguettes.

+5 C
The Finns are still driving their motorcycles in shorts.
The Italians are all migrating to Sardinia.
Saudis become an extinct race.

0 C
Water freezes. The rivers in Finland flow a little bit slower than normal. Finnish cows are let out to the meadows.
Swedes turn on their heaters.

-5 C
The Finns are having the last barbecue parties of the season.
The English farmers are finally putting their heaters on.

-10 C
The Finns are putting on long sleeved sweaters.
Eskimos move to their winter igloos.
Finnish cows are enjoying the fresh air.

-20 C
The Finns are getting ready for fall and are putting jackets on. Finnish babies are enjoying sleeping outside in their strollers.
The Greeks die of cold after having to eat frozen feta cheese.

-30 C
The Finns start drying their clothes inside. Finnish cows are taken into the barn for winter.
The Swedes have all moved into their fake saunas and are drinking Absolute vodka to warm up.

-40 C
The Finns are standing in line at the sausage stands. Finnish children are enjoying playing in the snow.
Russians have all fled to Egypt.

-50 C
The Finnish army is postponing their survival camp until the weather is cold enough. Finns turn on the seat-warmers in their cars.
The Swedish fake saunas no longer function.

-70 C
The Finnish army leaves to winter camp.
The polar bears start evacuating Antarctis. The Finns get frustrated because they can no longer cool their alcohol outside.

-170 C
The Finnish cows complain about cold hands when they are getting milked. The few other surviving humans are Russians who accidentally drank liquid nitrogen mistaking it for vodka.

-273C
Every movement in the atomical level stops.
The Finns are putting on wintercoats and cursing the cold weather.

-300 C
Hell freezes over. Team Finland wins the football World Cup.

Honeymoon in Tonga

After a relaxing and amazing honeymoon to Tonga and Australia Blue Abaya is back in Riyadh and back to blogging!

So why did we choose Tonga for our honeymoon? The Kingdom of Tonga has not been ruined by mass-tourism and there is lots of authentic culture and uninhabited islands left to explore which is my kind of destination. Also we wanted to see the humpback whales that come to the area around a certain time of year to give birth to their calves. Mother humpback whales can be seen nursing their young and frolicking in the shallow waters. Currently Tonga is the only place on earth where it's allowed to swim and snorkel with whales, if you're lucky to get that close. Humpback whales can often be seen breaching out from the ocean resulting in HUGE splashes and amazed spectators. The male whales sing beautiful songs which we heard when snorkeling. It was truly magical.

The island we stayed on was very private and romantic. We had a traditional Tongan chalet with a private beach and at times we were the only people staying on the island. We fell asleep to the sound of the waves and woke up listening to birds singing on our porch. Our days went by with snorkeling, kayaking, reading books and walking on the beach looking for seashells. One morning a mother and calf humpback whale were breaching right next to our beach.
Here's some pictures from these beautiful Pacific Islands..

 Male singer whale..

 Whale mom breeching! I was lucky to catch it on camera. After a while the baby and the mother came up at the same time.

 View from our Tongan chalet.

 Like a post card!

 Mom and baby on the go.

 Snorkeling on our private beach.

 Private beach and honeymoon chalet, paradise :)

Notice the little newborn calf next to the mother? So cute!

We went on a few boat trips to search for the whales that can often be found nursing the young in the shallow waters. It was incredible how many whales we saw in just a few hours! They didn't seem to mind the boats at all. I got a chance to snorkel next to one mother and calf. You don't realize how big they are until you feel like a tiny ant next to them. Even the fins seem like airplane wings underwater. Truly breath taking.

The experience of seeing a whale and calf so close by was one of the best moments of my life! My dive camera did a trick on me and the few photos I got from the experience were ruined. But the below pics are from the same place taken by a snorkeler:

They are such graceful gentle giants

I will never forget the magnificent Tonga and the warm genuinely friendly people, the pristine beaches and clear waters and of course, the wonderful whales!